Saturday, November 30, 2013

Thursday, November 28, 2013

so thankful...

when i woke up this morning,
it was still dark outside.
i looked at the clock,

6:16.

i smiled,

my favorite day of the year...

~@~



me: happy thanksgiving, my little dear.
john: oh, yeah...
me: i'm most thankful for you.
john: gah, you're silly.

it's true:
i am,
and
i am.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

Monday, November 25, 2013

mosses monday XLVIII



jumping ahead in my mosses love story,
i'm going to share something
very few know.

~@~

to put it mildly,
mosses' paid care at the end of his life
was lacking.
we knew because a nurse
at methodist hospital
brought it to our attention
and
another of his sitters,
a new sitter,
elaborated.

mosses' sweet niece, susie,
tried to address it,
but it fell on seemingly deaf ears.

i tried to address it,
but it fell on
ears
not appearing to want
to listen and deal
with his lack of care.

me: please, do something.
the person in charge: i don't know what to do;
i'm hearing two different stories.
me: you can believe me.
i am not an heir.
you know how much i love mosses...
he is my only motive!
the person in charge: (silence)
me: please, you have got
to do something!

~@~

i didn't know until
after mosses' passing
that i was a benefactor.
on a sunny afternoon in august
after he died,
the mailman delivered
a large, yellow, legal envelope
with a copy of mosses' will inside of it.

a lump developed in my throat.
i wasn't really shocked 
that mosses had been so kind to me...
he was always kind to me.

however,
the lump grew as i continued to read.
i remembered the silence
i had experienced
on the other end of the phone
when i had called
begging for
mosses' care to be addressed.

part of me was overflowing with gratefulness
 mosses had thought so much of me
as to have left me such a generous gift.
however,
the other part of me felt 
horrible.
mosses intended for me
to feel his love.
all i felt was
empty.

did "his person in charge"
choose to not listen to me
because she thought i knew
i was a benefactor
and
had some sort of motive?

i felt sick.

~@~

however,
today's story is about
thanksgiving.
no one on this earth will ever
truly understand the thankfulness
i experience everyday
when i think of mosses.
but i do indeed think of him

e.v.e.r.y.d.a.y.

with an overflowing, thankful
heart...

many times a day,
everyday, actually.

every time
i look into these eyes


you see,
i missed mosses so much,
i took part of the money he gave me
and bought her.

i have never regretted this decision;
she has been the embodiment of mosses'
love.
her love is unconditional,
transcending,
and 
constant.

~@~

i took the rest of my inheritance
and
gave most of it to a family who was hurting,
who was in need.

~@~

sometimes i feel guilty
that i didn't do what mosses 
might have had me do
with his gift,
and
then i look at maggie.
i know he knows how much i love her,
how much i need her,
and how much she loves me.

as tears flow down my face
i find myself smiling.
he knows
his gift couldn't have been appreciated
more.

(to be continued)

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side par entitled, "our love story":)

i know...


in this season of giving thanks,
i am most thankful

i know...

God.Loves.Me.

~@~



when i say,

"i know,"

i.know.

~@~



when we were children
we were taught 
the Bible tells us
God loves us.
it does
and
He does.

when we grow up,
we search for our own truth.
only He can reveal it to us.
if we do
He will.

~@~


i know...

because i did
and
He did.

~@~


when He did reveal the truth of Himself
to me,
i tried to be perfect
only to learn
it was impossible.

only.HE.is.perfect.

little by little
i let in a little more of me,
the me He created...
the me
He loved in my imperfection.

~@~



i learned
He created me to be me.
i learned
He loves the me He created me to be.

~@~

how do i know?

~@~


i know...

because

HE.TELLS.ME.SO!

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

for a fun time...




mom: this is the first time we've ever done this.
 i've had a really good time.
me: didn't you know i'm a fun time?
together (in unison): for a fun time, call dani!

laughter

~@~

it's true, my mom and i 
had never gone on a trip together,
just the two of us.
however, last friday morning
we did just that.

on thursday night i looked 
at the new york times' best seller list
looking for a book we could listen to 
on our way to and from georgia.
not knowing much about 
those at the top of the list,
i downloaded an old favorite of mine,
jan karon's, at home in mitford.
19 hours of father tim, barnabas, 
dooley and the gang...
perfect timing.

first thing friday morning,
we packed mom's little pt cruiser to the brim. 
as we pulled out of mom's subdivision,
i got settled and pulled my iphone
and auxiliary cord from my purse.

mom: what are you doing?
me: oh, i downloaded a book
for us to listen to on our trip;
but, i don't see an outlet for my aux-cord.

we both looked only to find
there wasn't one.

i returned my aux-cord to my purse
and proceded to plot our trip 
on my phone's map
before placing it in the cup-holder
between our seats.
siri began routing us to
augusta, georgia
usa.
with that, we were on our way
to visit our cousins,
ralph and ruth latta.

siri: in one mile,
turn right for i-75 south.

~@~

we drove for a little over 2 hours
before stopping in lake city, tennessee
for breakfast and gas.
there weren't many patrons
in the local mcdonald's.
however, among those there,
there was only one topic of discussion...
rattlesnakes!

apparently, someone in the area
had 50 snakes, which had gotten loose!
needless to say,
we were happy to finish our biscuits, 
fill up with gas, and get out of dodge!

~@~

mom and i talked and talked
and were making great time
until we made our way out of atlanta 
to i-20 toward augusta.

a digital traffic sign read:
right two lanes closed
3 miles ahead
due to traffic accident.
merge left.

in less than 50 feet,
we came to an abrupt, complete stop...
(one of those stops you see in cartoons
where the front bumper nearly eats the road
and the middle of the car arches!!!)
in the seat behind me,
there were two, large,
kentucky legend,
football hams,
a large bag of ice,
6 diet cokes, and
6 diet sunkists
all inside a large igloo cooler on wheels.
as the car came to a halt,
 the cooler slammed into the back of my seat!

mom: that was close! did i scare you?
me: well, i did curl my toes a little.

laughter

me: i can see it now...
"mom kills daughter with 'kentucky legend' ham!"

laughter

~@~

we sat for nearly 30 minutes
before mom asked me
to turn on my "i never meet a stranger" charm
and
ask the truck driver beside us
if he knew what was going on ahead of us.
mom rolled down my window,
and he rolled down his.
i apologized for bothering him
then proceeded to ask if he knew
what the issue ahead of us was .
he replied he didn't know
but he did know there were 
now three of the four lanes closed.

after thanking him,
i took my phone from the cup-holder
and keyed in the words
i-20 wreck, atlanta, wesley chapel.
a fox news story posted only 3 minutes prior
popped up on my screen.
"pedestrian hit and killed
traffic backed up for miles."
i read the story to mom.

my heart sank...

she shook her head: why would anyone
be walking out here on the interstate?
me: maybe it was a hitchhiker.

after another hour-and-a-half or so,
the traffic started to slowly move.

when we made it to the scene,
only emergency vehicles,
police, and a cleanup crew remained.

so sad...

~@~

we stopped again
about 80 miles outside augusta
to fill up with gas.

mom: do you want to drive the rest of the way
since you know how to get to ralph's and ruth's house?
me: sure, i don't mind.

the last hour of our trip passed quickly.

siri: in one half miles, 
take exit 199 for washington rd, 
ga-28 toward augusta.
siri: turn right onto washington rd 
toward augusta state university, 
medical college of georga, 
and paine college.


me: we are supposed to turn right
at the lone star steakhouse.

siri: in .1 miles turn right onto berckmans road.

i looked ahead to see a large water tower
standing on the corner.

me: this isn't where we are supposed to turn.
mom: are you sure?
me: i'm positive; we always turn right
at the lone star.

siri continued to try to reroute us
down the next three roads.  
when we passed augusta national,
i knew something wasn't right.
we were heading toward downtown augusta.

mom: just turn around and go back to berckmans.
me: okay, maybe they tore down the lone star
and replaced it with a water tower.
  
~@~

finally, we pulled onto ralph's and ruth's street.
we came in from a different direction though.
in the driveway stood ralph
looking in the direction 
from which i normally come.
wrinkling his forehead,
he looked at me curiously
as i pulled mom's little pt into his driveway.

ralph: what are you doing?
did you get lost?
me: well, kind of...

after hugs and kisses,
i explained what had happened.

me: did i pass the lone star?
ralph: naw, they tore it down 
and put a walgreens up there.

well...
that explained that!

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx