life on the lane

and then she was one...

2012-02-02T07:32:00.003-06:00

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

baby mine...

2012-02-01T08:45:00.005-06:00

for the past month,

i've been working on converting

my old vhs footage to dvd.

as i have done so, i have also

been capturing still shots from

paused screens and editing the

stills into some pretty sweet

photos:

(katherine 1992-1993)

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

come monday...

2012-01-09T12:20:00.008-06:00

i know he is holding you tight:)

i love you this morning...
to heaven and back!

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

it doesn't matter how old they are...

2011-12-17T09:12:00.005-06:00

john and i had a late dinner party to go to last night. so katherine, hannah, and davis went out to dinner early so as to get back in time to trade off puppy duty. the three had only been gone for about 30 minutes when our local news reported a car crash involving three cars with possible fatalities in the area to which they were headed. the odds were it wasn't them, but i called katherine anyway...

it rang,
and rang,
and rang...
no answer
then voicemail.

i called again.

it rang,
and rang,
and rang...
no answer
then voicemail.

my body started to react.
i got a knot in my chest,
my face and ears started to burn,
i could hear my heart beating... loudly,
and my mind began to race.

i texted katherine.
no reply.

i quickly resorted to the police scanner application on my phone
and listened for further information.

the police called for more ambulances,
an officer indicated that the jaws-of-life was going to be needed to extricate victims from at least one of the vehicles involved.

the kids had been running late for dinner.
but i told them to take their time and be careful.
did i tell katherine i loved her?
yes, i did!i always do.

"you need to call the coroner."
i heard the officer tell the dispatcher.

oh.my.God!

still no reply from katherine.

i called one more time.

it rang,
and rang,
and rang...

i totally started to go into full panic mode!

and rang.

and then...

she answered!

SHE.ANSWERED!

~@~

katherine explained that her ringer was turned off and she didn't know i'd called.
she said they were safe at the restaurant and waiting for the waiter to bring them their food.

it wasn't them in the wreck,
thank.God!

i felt relief come over my body.

"have fun, enjoy your dinner, and y'all be very careful coming home, " i told her.
"ok, mom," she reassured me, "we will."
"i love you," i told her.i always do!
i had the opportunity, the gift, of being able to say that to her again!
"i love you too. i'll see you guys later," she replied.

~@~

it was a gift that my child was uninvolved...
that she was safe!hannah and davis were too!!!
~@~

however, it was not the same story for those who were involved in the wreck...

~@~

i learned later that there were three fatalities as a result of that crash.
there were others very seriously injured.

~@~

today, i ask for prayers for the victims and their families.

today, i ask that you slow down, pay attention, and always drive soberly!

today, i ask that you to remember to thank God for all your blessings.
...

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

jack...

2011-12-16T09:17:00.005-06:00

many of my long-time readers know that i grew up in my little, white cottage here on the lane. what you may not know is my next-door neighbor, jack, was my best friend...

in the summers...

i talked to him while he planted his garden.

he taught me how to shoot his bb-gun.

we watched sanford and son on the tv he had hooked up in his garage.

stella brought us coca cola to drink out of ball jars.

and, we talked politics.

in the winters...

i talked to him while he shaped his frasier fir and hooked up the outdoor lights (always red).

he told me the "d" on his fireplace stood for dani;)

we watched the edge of night together every afternoon after school.

stella made us hot cocoa to drink.

and, we talked politics.

~@~

one can only imagine how broken-hearted i was when at 14 my parents divorced and sold our house on the lane.

i was broken hearted to have to move

but even more so to have to leave my best buddy.

~@~

little did i know, though...

it was only a temporary separation...

for a month before i turned 22,

john presented me my childhood home as a 1st anniversary gift!

he purchased my cottage on the lane!!!

~@~

i was thrilled...

to be living once again in my sweet house,

to be sharing it with the one i loved with all my heart and soul,

to be living next-door to jack and stella again,

to be sharing john with them and them with john,

and i was over the moon when we all shared my baby, katherine,

the following year at Christmas!!!

~@~

in the summers...

we played with jack's kittens.

jack taught baby katherine to "spit tobacco";P

katherine's first word was "jack",

which she would squeal as she watched him pull into his driveway after work.

we watched katherine grow.

and, we talked politics.

in the winters...

jack shoveled snow off our deck

(to repay john for mulching his leaves in the fall).

we talked to jack while he trimmed the tree...

then later as he unboxed his new artificial one.

stella made us cocoa:)

we watched the young and the restless.

and, we talked politics.

~@~

then in the late fall of 2004, jack became ill.

he told me the doctors were running tests.

in mid december jack had surgery.

right before Christmas that year he returned home.

~@~

i was very busy preparing for Christmas...

shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping gifts, and cleaning...

so busy i hadn't taken the time to go visit jack:(

~@~

however, it began to snow.

it snowed...

and snowed...

(for 30 hours it snowed:)

until we were completely snowed in on the lane.

the normal festivities of Christmas were not going to happen.

all the roads, highways, airports, etc...

were closed!

no one would be coming in,

and no one would be going out...

~@~

i didn't have to be busy anymore:)

~@~

so, i put on my jeans, turtleneck, sporto boots, and coat:

i pulled my hair back into a pony-tail,

waded through the thigh-high snow that separated our houses,

and made my way over to check on my buddy.

to my delight i was greeted at the door by jack's and stella's daughter, jeda;

she was snowed in as well.

i LOVE jeda!!!

(she was my choir teacher all through elementary and middle school.

when i became an adult, she grew to be my dear friend.)

that night while katherine and john sat in our den watching a Christmas story together,
i sat with jack, stella, and jeda reminiscing about old times, laughing, and enjoying all the Christmas confections jeda had brought her mother and daddy. what a blessing! it wasn't until after jack had fallen asleep and stella had nodded off as well that i realized just how great the blessing was...
jeda confided in me that jack had cancer...
~@~

to this day, i believe with all my heart that that evening i enjoyed with three of my dearest, life-long friends was nothing short of a gift from God.
~@~

jack died the following summer.

~@~

i miss summers
and
winters of old on the lane.
i miss jack....

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

mosses monday XLV...

2011-12-05T10:10:00.021-06:00

"i am so thankful that i had this chance meeting.
i am thankful for all things that remind me of mosses..."

as you know from my last post,

i see mosses occasionally;)

i see him in the antiquated fella who is still very much alive...

in he who is more gentle,

in he who moves a little more slowly... a little more deliberately,

in he who is more generous,

and in he who has more gumption

than his body should allow,

i see him in the man who is

MORE!

~@~

several years ago dawn called and invited me to go see a movie and have lunch with her.

"what do you want to see?" i asked.

"let's go see the holiday," she continued, "the one with jude law."

oh.my.word.
what girl is not up for two hours of jude law!!?!?

"sounds good to me; it's a date!"

~@~

that friday afternoon we arrived at the theater.

she bought buttered popcorn and a diet:

i bought jr. mints and a diet...

we made our way to our seats just in time for the movie to begin.

we patiently awaited for jude law to grace the screen...

to see his perfectly sculptured body,

to hear the heavy, british accent in his voice,

to look into his paul newmanesque eyes.

the movie began.

jude law was scrumptious...

~@~

however,

it was this man who stole the movie and my heart.

(meet arthur abbott played by eli wallach)

from the moment i laid eyes on him,

he was mosses!

arthur was kind,

and brilliant,

and humble

and endearing

and cute,

and funny,

and...

not only was he mosses...

kate winslet,

who played opposite wallach,

was me!

(meet iris simpkins played by kate winslet)

~@~

while on holiday in los angeles,
iris met mr. abbott.
she was so taken by him,
instead of doing normal, touristy things,
she chose to spend her time with arthur,

who stole her heart as well...

not in a romantic way,
you see,
but in a very soulful kind of way.

iris took to heart his every word.
arthur was a wise man;
he had lived a very long life.
he knew the ways of the world.
he explained to iris that she was important
that she should be the star of her own life.

in turn, iris helped arthur to realize that no matter his age...
he was still important.

.
iris shared dinner with mr. abbott.

iris helped arthur reacquire his strength.

their relationship was mutually beneficial.
he helped her to find her inner strength and independence.
she helped him find the man he had forgotten he was.

~@~

my relationship with mosses was much the same...
it was a relationship of building each other up.
when i was with him, i was my best person.
when he was with me, i think he was his best person.

i think we were in love...

i know i was:)

not in a romantic way,
you see,
but in a very soulful kind of way:)

in the end, iris found romantic love in a funny guy she met while on holiday...

arthur found relevance.

~@~

and jude law...

yeah, he was the icing

on the proverbial cake;P

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled,

"our love story":)

the girl who cried, "tenderloin"...

2011-12-02T09:15:00.002-06:00

for two years john, katherine, jacob, and i watched masterchef. i dvr'ed it; we never missed a single episode. secretly, i wanted to be on the show; i thought i could win... REALLY! i have no fear when it comes to cooking. i learned long ago what makes what taste good AND how to turn cooking failures into winning dishes.

so, in august when (as a friend of the show) i received an invite to apply, i jumped at the opportunity and expressed my desire to be a part of masterchef 3. several weeks later i received another email from them asking that i choose two cities from a list of many that i might be able to travel to for a casting call. there were three (nashville, atlanta, and chicago) from the list that were in a 6 hour radius of henderson.

about a month later masterchef sent me the list of cities and dates. one of my choices, chicago, was on the list: chicago, illinois, dec. 3, 2011, le cordon bleu culinary institute @10 am. the only other information i received at the time was that i was to bring a dish (ready to be plated), a head-shot, and my contract. i chose the chicago venue and shared with family and friends that i would be attending. i was super-excited!!!... at first. then i started thinking about the dish situation.

how was i going to prepare a dish to take to this casting call 6+ hours away from my home?

on masterchef's facebook page, i asked if anyone knew what constituted a dish but received no reply. after attempting to get a hotel room at one of the area residence inns with no avail, i decided to take a dessert to plate. i knew exactly what i was going to prepare...

my pink suede cake!

however, as soon as i decided to plate the cake , i started second guessing myself. i had this funky feeling that i was going to be in line with all these people bearing beautifully plated, succulent, savory main dishes, and i was going to be like, "hi, i'm dani from kentucky. here's my (day-old, well-travelled) cake." after expressing my dilemma to john (who thought the whole venture was "screwy" because of my lack of information), we agreed that i would just wait for masterchef to come to a town closer to home preferably nashville.

THEN...

on tuesday of this week, a dear friend called and totally harassed me when i told her i was choosing not to go;)

"if you don't go, i'm going to be so mad at you! you could totally win! i'm going to come get you on friday after work and take you myself! yadda, yadda, yadda..."

ha! she was killing me.

THEN...

that very night my brother called. "well, are you going to go this weekend?" he asked.

"i don't know." i continued, "i don't think so."

"i don't think it would be a good idea," he said. "you cannot be away from home that long." he laughed.

"i think i could do it, it's only for a couple of weeks between february and march."

"oh, i thought it was like american idol where you're there for the show's entirety.. like 13 or 14 weeks."

"oh, nah, it's all pre-taped before it airs." (i was sure i'd read that it was a 2 week commitment.)

"that's still a LONG time for you to be away from home, sister!" he laughed.

i laughed, too; but he was right, nonetheless.

THEN...

on wednesday morning, roy called.

roy, from masterchef!

he called to inquire as to whether or not i would be attending the chicago casting call on saturday

and to ask if i had any questions giving me a link to a faq site.

after going to the site, i had answers to most of my questions and all of john's questions. i called him and shared the information i gathered. "what do you think?" i asked him.

"it's up to you, but i still think you should wait until it comes to nashville," he replied.

"i think i should just go ahead and do it; i may not have this chance again."

i returned roy's call and confirmed i would be there.

i made hotel reservations.

i took a head-shot and sent it to walgreens for prints.

and...

i made a grocery list:

pork tenderloin

couscous

cranberries

green onion

garlic

feta cheese

etc...

THEN...

i told everyone i was going to go to the call and asked for prayers that my pork tenderloin would be edible (after standing outside the institute for up to 4 hours in chicago's winter weather conditions). everyone was so supportive and sweet... promising to pray for my tenderloin:)

THEN...

i uploaded the 11 page contract from the link roy sent me.

i read through the questions.

when i arrived at the question asking if i would be able to make a 7 week commitment between february and march, i started sweating.

i took a picture of the screen and texted it to my aforementioned dear friend and cheerleader.

i received a quick reply, "you are going to have so much fun!!!"

being away from home for a week once or twice a year is fun,

but after 7 days, i'm totally ready to be back at home.

as my brother pointed out, 2 weeks was pushing it (but, i knew i could do it if need be).

being away from home for 7 weeks did not sound a bit FUN to me:(

i emailed the contract to john to read. he did and brought a copy of it home to me yesterday afternoon. "did you see that the time commitment is 7 weeks?" i asked him.

"yep, i thought you said it was only 2 weeks?'

"i thought it was! assuming i would even make it that far, i don't want to be away from home that long, john."

"yeah, that's what i thought when i read it; you'd be homesick after about a week," he responded.

"i'm not going to do it, ok?"

he laughed, "it's up to you."

in the end, it is up to me. i would love to win the $250,000; don't get me wrong. but honestly, i cannot put a price on missing 2 months of my family's life. economically speaking, one of these days i my not have a choice but to travel away from home to monetarily support my family. but, right now, i'm just not that hungry (i am so blessed!). i hope that a person who is that hungry wins the competition.

as for me and my house, we are going to eat a wonderful, HOT, FRESH pork tenderloin at home together on the lane this weekend:)

love and GOD's blessings,

dani xxx

mosses monday XLIV...

2011-11-21T07:48:00.004-06:00

john and i sat in deconess hospital's, emergency room waiting area while the doctors and nurses worked to stabilize my dad in a room just down the hall from us. we sat there with my dad's family. after only a few minutes, an admissions receptionist called for me to come sign some paperwork. after doing so, i returned to my seat; as i was sitting i noticed an orderly wheeling a frail, elderly lady into the e.r. a time-worn gentleman followed along behind them with the aid of his walker.

my heart danced!

i grabbed john's hand and (with a smile that extended from my right ear to my left) nodded toward the man. john glanced the way of the fellow... he looked. after a moment he too smiled acknowledging he knew exactly what i was thinking.

"he looks just like mosses," i whispered.

"a lot!" john agreed.

i noticed the fella wearing a suit that was no longer tailored to his shrunken body, his shiny.thinning.white.hair, his metal rimmed glasses, and that his body was crooked...

brought on by time and arthritis.

just.like.my.mosses.

<@>

a few moments later, the receptionist summoned the fellow. i was actually familiar with his rather uncommon surname.

i recalled a farm in my hometown,

owned by a man with the same last name as the one she called.

when he completed his wife's paperwork, he arose and made his way over to the vending machines. as he passed me i noticed that he even had a bowed-out leg like mosses (more than likely stemming from a 1980's knee replacement)... uncanny!

so uncanny, in fact, that i took out my cell phone and snapped a photo of him.

when i did so, i noticed even his hair grew in the same direction as mosses did...

noticing he needed help, one of my aunts offered to help him purchase chips and a soda. he thanked her and proceeded back to his seat. as he passed me, i said his name, "mr. m...?" he stopped and looked at me. "is your name mr. m...?" i asked.

"well, yes it is," he replied.

"are you from henderson?," i inquired.

(we were at a hospital in a neighboring city.)

"yes, i am," he answered with a twinkle in his eye.

"i am too. my name is dani berrong," i introduced myself.

i reached out and placed my hand atop his hand.

it felt sweetly familiar...

"did you ever know george moss?" i asked.

"well, as a matter of fact i do know george. back in the day, we played many a poker game," he said and grinned.

what a small world!

"mr. moss was my dearest friend:) i just stopped you because you remind me so much of him."

he chuckled, "do you think so? how is george getting along?"

"oh, mr. m..., mr. moss died several years ago," i replied with regret.

my heart sank a little.

"he did? i'm so sorry. i don't think i knew that. george was a good friend... " he stood for a moment thinking, "when you get old, you just lose touch, i guess," he lowered his chin.

i smiled and patted his hand, "thank you for taking the time to stop and talk to me. it was so nice to meet you!"

we then exchanged good wishes for each other's respective loved ones.

<@>

i am so thankful that i had this chance meeting.
i am thankful for all things that remind me of mosses...

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

time to bring back mosses mondays...

2011-08-23T11:46:00.004-05:00

over the weekend i received a facebook message asking for a link to my mosses mondays stories. the person explained that she had lost the link and was wanting to catch up on what she had missed. i sent her the link but explained that there was nothing new there.

i couldn't believe it when i realized my last entry was dated march of last year!

there is so much more to share, and it is time to share it:) so, i hope to have a new entry soon. i also hope my mosses followers will return to the lane for the rest of the story...

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

by one...

2011-07-28T09:54:00.003-05:00

wedding cake yogurt
victoria secret sales
pink hydrangeas
cheap airfare
america's top 40
fresh garden tomatoes
shade trees
vera bradley patterns
air conditioning
sea salt
holding hands
cotton anything
summer rain

to be continued...

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

counting the little things...

2011-07-11T10:42:00.006-05:00

one-by-one:

pink floats
mikeritas
96sto
flip-flops
cut-offs
my pink and green front porch
ralph lauren sheets, beach towels, and tees
polished toenails
oscillating fans
ac
summer breeze
cocoa butter
snackwells
the charcoal grill
day lilies
the ground hog currently living in my backyard
brightly colored noodles
melon
the light smell of chlorine
lightning bugs
my old transistor radio
cool showers
cotton pajamas

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

hope...

2011-06-14T10:54:00.008-05:00

as a believer, i always have hope.
God is the grounds for hope...
for believing good can happen.
God is also the grounds for knowing...
He will make good of that we give over to Him.
believing gives us hope.
belief prepares us for and supports us through the worst
with the knowledge that God is good always!

i have passed these beliefs on to katherine.

~@~

months ago when it was time for katherine to order graduation invitations, she chose to forgo doing so. she said she didn't want to send them because she didn't want people to think she was asking for something (other than their presence at her commencement) in return. after a little brainstorming, i went back to her and explained that if she didn't send out invitations there would be those who would think they were overlooked. i made a proposal to her. i told her that she could put an insert in each of her pre-printed invitations, and on it she could make her intentions known. she was happy with the idea.

hence, she decided to request only the gift of the recipients' presence at her ceremony and to give those who insisted on gifting an option.

~@~

before katherine was even 10 years old, she lost 2 people to whom she was very close to cancer. a third was diagnosed and given only a 2% chance of surviving more than 5 years. so, the summer before her tenth birthday, she started actively participating in our local relay for life. that year she walked in memory of her uncle gary and dear friend, ernie, and in honor of her uncle stevie who was in the battle of his life...
for his life.

respectively, cancer robbed her of the man who she spent countless hours with out on his pontoon on his beloved lake misty. cancer robbed her of the man with whom she visited, shared candy corn, and whom she thought was her granddad. further, cancer was attempting to rob her of her uncle stevie with whom she went on most every vacation and celebrated every holiday.

she loved these men with all her heart...

~@~

over the next five years, cancer took katherine's great-uncle bill
and jack, her neighbor... her best buddy.
however, uncle stevie, beat the odds; he was in the 2% that survived!

~@~

even through loss, katherine continued to hope.
she continued to walk for a cure.

~@~

the option upon which she decided was a great one in her opinion.

on her invitation inserts, she wrote:

only the gift of your presence is requested.
however, you may make a contribution to alcan/rio tinto's
relay for life in memory of my uncles:
gary berrong
bill manion
or
steve hurd.
love, katherine

you may have noticed that steve hurd was listed as in memory of instead of in honor of...
katherine's uncle stevie died a week to the day before she received her graduation announcements in the mail...

he won the cancer battle but lost the war of life.

~@~

friends and family were very generous, so generous in fact, katherine was able to donate enough money to purchase more than 60 luminaries! she donated her own money for luminaries in memory of ernie and jack.

kat was thrilled she was able to pay her gifts forward to a great cause...
the search for a cure for cancer!

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

a friend in need...

2011-06-10T10:42:00.005-05:00

last friday i was visiting with friends when one asked if i knew charla tompkins. i smiled and said yes that i'd known her most of my life; then i inquired why she was asking. my friend went on to tell me that charla had had an incident that required emergency care and that she'd been diagnosed with cancer.

my heart sank...

charla was my first, elementary school librarian. she and her husband, glenn, built a home across the street from my aunt and uncle and were neighbors with them for years. charla moved on to be my middle school librarian, for whom i was a student-aid. she was a member of the church i joined when i was in high school. and then, when i took katherine for high school orientation, i caught up with charla there to discover that she was going to be katherine's librarian at henderson county high school. charla explained to katherine our connection and told her if she ever needed anything to come see her.

she meant it;
that is just the kind of person charla is!
she is precious:)

i am posting today for two reasons:

first and foremost, i am requesting prayers on behalf of my friend... i know i have wonderful blogging friends all around the world who have joined with me in prayer before and have made such a difference!

secondly, today is charla's birthday. i would so much appreciate it, if you are a facebooker, if you would go and leave her a message of support and encouragement (you don't have to be a "friend" of charla's to leave her a message). i would be so grateful:)

just click on her photo below:

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

winning...

2011-05-31T12:39:00.018-05:00

i knew that as president of her class katherine was going to give a speech at her class' graduation. however, i was surprised to watch her make her way to and be seated on stage with her principals, school board, and superintendent. my little girl was the master of ceremonies at her commencement!

(katherine is seated at the far right.)

after introducing henderson county high school's choir and band, she began her speech...

Reflections.

On behalf of the graduating class of 2011, I would like to welcome all of you who are here for tonight’s commencement. I would also like to take this opportunity to thank each of you, respectively, for the part you have played in making us the winning graduates we are today.
It has been my pleasure to serve you, the Henderson County Senior High Class of 2011. As I look out among your faces, I recognize many with whom I started this journey 13 years ago. Honestly, in hindsight, it has been a short journey; but, there were days, weeks, and even months that seemed to go on forever...

In the past 13 years we have witnessed a lot of history in the making and learned many valuable lessons:
• In kindergarten, we saw Pokemon debut; we learned “our courage will pull us through.”
• We saw Y2K come and go: we learned K equals one comma zero zero zero.
• We saw the introduction of the iPhone and iPod: we learned that said gadgets can cost us a lot.
• We saw Kelly Clarkson become America’s first “Idol”; we learned that through hard work anyone can win a title.
• We saw Tom Cruise jump on Oprah’s sofa; we learned that bad manners can cause one’s career to be over.
• We saw Vice President Cheney accidentally shoot a hunting bud; we learned that hunting with Dick Cheney’s like hunting with Elmer Fudd!
• We saw Jersey Shore hit the little screen on Thursdays; we learned Thursdays are no longer Thursdays, they now are called Jersdays.
• Recently, we saw ol' osama go out like a flash; we learned it only takes two shots and a splash!

~@~

which brings us to this evening…

Tonight, my classmates, is only the beginning; for, you have worked hard for your diplomas and are as Charlie Sheen says,
“duh, winning!”

class of 2011, you are special,
you are accomplished,
you are winners!!!

her speech was followed by speeches from the valedictorian and salutatorian of her class. after which, katherine joined her classmates in receiving their diplomas and being pronounced 2011 graduates!

my little master of ceremonies was right, she and her classmates...
are special...
are accomplished...
are very much winners!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

time...

2011-05-19T09:23:00.014-05:00

when i was a little girl living on the lane,
time went by so slowly...
from summer to summer
from Christmas to Christmas.

~@~

now that i am a wife and mother living on the lane,
time goes by so quickly...
by the time we get our pool closed, it is almost time to reopen it;
by the time we get our Christmas decorations taken down and put away, it is time to pull them out and decorate again.

~@~

since the last time i blogged,
much has happened.
it all happened so quickly;
it almost seems like it was a dream.

~~~

katherine was accepted into the university of evansville and was granted a very generous academic scholarship.

we spent spring break in cancun, mexico.

john and i flew to canada where he received a project award from rio tinto/alcan.

john and i went on a wine tasting tour in indiana.

my family said, "good-bye," to my uncle steve.

katherine went with jacob to their senior prom.

john and i marked 21 years of marriage.

john and i attended katherine's student ambassador recognition dinner.

and just last night...

john and i attended katherine's senior honors night at the high school where she received one of only 12 commonwealth diplomas (in a class of over 400 students) and her student ambassador chords...

which she will wear tomorrow night to her graduation ceremony.

~@~

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps. i hope to elaborate on the aforementioned soon:)

seeing purple...

2011-01-31T10:19:00.006-06:00

on friday, katherine and i visited
the university of evansville's campus...

~@~@~@~

our experience was great!

kat's admissions counselor greeted us
and went over our agenda for the day,
we then took a tour of the
campus (which was very
informative), had lunch with one
of ue's academic advisers,
met with financial aid, and ended
the day back with her admissions
counselor to debrief.

(katherine awaiting the debriefing)

if all goes as planned,
my kitty kat will be a purple ace
come fall:)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

adding color to an otherwise gray day...

2011-01-22T09:30:00.017-06:00

last weekend was a long weekend off for katherine due to the martin luther king, jr. holiday on monday. so, kat and i made a date to go prom dress shopping. prom isn't until may; but, we knew the earlier, the better selection.

honestly, however, we have been windows shopping ever since the 2011 dresses came off the runway. as a matter of fact, the very first day we were able to view them online, we looked at each and every dress available (over 5,000 dresses) out of which katherine only really liked three.

the first was just a short, fun pick, the second (minus the bolero) was my favorite, and the third was katherine's favorite. i thought they were great choices but told her we should at least go and look at what was in the stores and that it would be a good idea for her to try on some different styles; she agreed.

~@~

therefore, on monday, that is exactly what we did. unfortunately, none of the three dresses katherine had chosen were in the store. but, she did try all of these:

the first was too big,
the second was a maybe,
the third was not lined,
the fourth was a definite maybe,
the fifth was too heavy,
the sixth was only the style she wanted,
and the 7th was just too much dress...

whew!

~@~

in the end, we ordered...

her favorite from the word, "go":)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

the peasants are all adults now...

2011-01-10T09:03:00.004-06:00

at least they've all turned 18;P

ha!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

the plan part of my "plan"...

2011-01-07T09:57:00.006-06:00

well, i went for my first consultation
and weigh-in yesterday.
i have a good six months of the perfect plan
diet plan ahead of me...
~@~

this plan doesn't require exercise...
but...
in the last 17 hours,
i have been to the grocery store twice,
prepared and drank hot, fresh lemonade,
prepared and baked oat bran muffins,
eaten one of the muffins as well as fruit and eggs,
drunk 20 oz. water, made tofu dressing,
and...
i have baked 8 chicken breasts.

whew!!!

there is exercise involved:P

~@~

i am getting excited though
about the prospect of not looking like a whale
in my bathing suit when we head to cancun
in april:)

(so long, moonpie face!!!)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

no resolutions here...

2011-01-01T08:48:00.006-06:00

however...

i do have a word.

"PLAN"

this is a big word for a procrastinator like me,
but i am calling it mine for 2011.

i am 41 years old and have never had a plan.
so, please, say a prayer for me:)

~@~@~@~

right now, there are only 3 things i plan to do:

1.) increase my family's health.
2.) increase my family's wealth.
3.) and pray... more:)

happy new year, my loves!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

well, now, let's see...

2010-12-09T09:46:00.009-06:00

one tree is up
adorned with lights
and decorated with the baubles
i bought at the pear tree
(i'm not sure how many years ago?).

two more are awaiting
(my getting the living room
patched, sealed, and painted)
one with baubles my mother gave me...
the other with family decorations
that come with 20+ years of marriage:)

~@~

saturday, my kitty kat turns 18!
18?
where has the time gone?
so strange...
but true.

she and 15 of her friends are celebrating
by enjoying a late dinner at the bonefish grill
followed by cold stone creamery cake...
on the lane.

two friends will be missing,
will, who now resides in florida
and...
chase, who now resides
in heaven....

~@~

katherine will take the act
on saturday morning...
for the last time.
she has really been working
to get her score up a couple of points
in order to be in the running for an
academic scholarship from
the university of evansville.

john graduated from u of e
the year katherine was born!

~@~

i've watched only 2 of my new
Christmas movies...
it happened on 5th avenue
and
capote's a Christmas memory...
loved them both:)

~@~

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

adding to my collection...

2010-12-03T10:54:00.004-06:00

you are thinking pajamas;
aren't you!!?!?

well, you are partially correct, ha;)

i do have 2 brand-new pairs of flannels
awaiting my donning!

*****

however...

the collection to which i am referring
is my Christmas movie collection.

for the past several years in mid-november,
i've gone online and have ordered various
Christmas movies to add to my ever-growing
collection of vhs's and dvd's to enjoy
throughout the holiday season.

over the years, i have seen many of them
(and many of the classics, repeatedly).
though, thanks to internet i have found
a multitude that i have never seen at all..
never have i even heard of them.

this year i ordered such popular ones as:

Christmas in connecticut
holiday inn
a Christmas carol

a few with popular Christmas scenes:

meet me in st. louis
an affair to remember
love affair

several oldies but completely new to me:

the shop around the corner
it happened on 5th avenue
beyond tomorrow
holiday affair

a newer one i somehow missed along the way:

noel

and last but not least...
the one, which i was thrilled to find:

truman capote's, a Christmas memory!

*****

is there a Christmas movie on this year's list
of which you are particularly fond
(or a rare gem i am missing)?

if so,

SHARE!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

waste not...

2010-11-04T11:07:00.006-05:00

want not!

saturday is supposed to be "d" day
on the lane...
the "d" cluttering of my house.

but, i always face a major "d" lemma
at times such as these:

what do i keep,
and what do i "d" lete???

~@~@~@~@~@~

i've heard it said that,
"if you haven't used it in 6 months,
get rid of it."

well, i haven't used my food processor
in over 2 years. but, i will need it
the next time i want to make
raspberry linzer cookies.
i will want it then
but will have made waste of it.

and, my favorite ralph lauren weekender-jeans...
they haven't fit for 3 years.
but, if i ever take off the extra 40lbs
i've gained, i will want them;
I.KNOW.I.WILL!!!
moreover, i will have to pay
3 times what i paid for them in 1999
to replace them, no?

then, there are the Christmas decorations
from our first years on the lane.
i haven't used them
since gold became "so last century".
however, when silver goes out of style,
i may just want to decorate my tree
in gold again!!!

finally, things (both seen and stored)
take up a lot of room in my house.
the problem is most of the things in my house
were gifted to me... i know i will feel guilty
about ridding myself of them.
further, will i be sorry one day that i have wasted
something away to the good-will which i will
want to have kept to remember the gifter?

~@~@~@~@~@~

sigh...

"d" cisions, "d" cisions...

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

the last time...

2010-10-13T17:04:00.022-05:00

yesterday marked an end of an era...
it was the last time i will ever take

my.little.girl

to martin studio for "mr. steve" to take her picture.

katherine turns 18 in december...

~@~@~@~

(2011 senior class officers)

"now, i better not see this picture up tomorrow on facebook!" mr. steve said as he turned around and caught me photographing him photographing them...

i only giggled (noncommittal(ly).

~@~@~@~

our first portrait session...

katherine was only 6 weeks old.

~@~@~@~

we returned...

often.

~@~@~@~

when i took katherine only weeks before her 10th birthday, i decided that would be the last session until she turned seventeen.

i wanted her senior pictures to be special.

~@~@~@~

and they were...

~@~@~@~

thank you, martin family,
you have blessed our little corner of the world for over 60 years with utmost integrity, love for community, and high-quality photography!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

go, martin studio.

the checkered flag...

2010-09-23T10:17:00.011-05:00

the checkered flag waved for my friend, mark, last friday night at 10:45pm when a lady did not see the glow from the headlight on his motorcycle and proceeded to pull her car out in front of him.

mark's race was finished.

###

yesterday, i drove to the neighboring town of owensboro to attend mark's funeral. i was late to the church but slid into the back pew unnoticed. i missed the beginning of mark's eulogy. however, rev. wood, mark's long time friend and mentor, was coincidentally right at the point in the telling of mark's life-story where mark and i lost touch.

"when he returned home from lexington, mark often came by the house to see lori and me," wood said then continued, "i'm pretty sure if there were lights on in the house, mark thought they were on for him."

wood smiled;

the congregation chuckled.

###

a reason, a season, or a lifetime?

had i ever needed anything, i know mark would have done whatever he could have to help, and, though i had known mark most of my life, we were only really great friends for a few years. so, if i had to classify the type of friend mark was, i would have to say he was a friend for a season.

people who are said to have come into your life for a season, have done so to perhaps share, grow, or learn with you. maybe, they have brought you an experience of peace, made you laugh, or given you an unbelievable amount of joy...

but, only for a season.

mark's and my "season" of friendship began when i was in college and dear friends with his girlfriend, jeanne. our friendship lasted through jeanne's and my graduation, my marriage to john, his marriage to jeanne, the birth of my katherine, and several years thereafter while he and jeanne were living in lexington and she was in medical school.

during that time, mark made me laugh... A LOT. mark was a very funny guy! and he adored katherine. he always kept a photo of her in his wallet so that when others would pull out their pictures to share he would have one, too. that brought me great joy.

when he and jeanne divorced, he moved back home, and we lost contact.

###

now, i knew mark had moved to owensboro, gotten married, welcomed into the world a little girl, and that mark and his brother had recently been taking care of their ailing parents. however, there were a couple of things upon which rev. wood elaborated i didn't know .

first, wood told us that mark battled cancer a couple of years ago. according to the reverend, it was at this time that mark renewed his faith in and relationship with God. then wood told us that just this past week mark took his mother, who is currently battling cancer, to texas for treatment and further testing. mark and his mother actually returned home from texas on friday only hours before his death.

"cancer is sometimes a gift," said woods. "it gives you time."
"it gave mark the time to get things right with God, and it gave his mother a full week with him she may not have had had she not been diagnosed with cancer. mark was honestly blessed to have had it...

for, cancer gives you time;

motorcycle crashes don't!'"

###

after an invitation to pray for salvation, music, and a benediction, the funeral ended. the family receded out of the sanctuary. mark's wife, lana, looked at me and smiled through her tears as she walked past me holding the hand of their beautiful little, natalie. next mark's parents and brother walked past his mother stopped and squeezed my hand. it was heartbreaking.

there were several from the henderson county high school class of '87 in attendance jill, whom i had known since pre-school, donnie, who was my math bowl partner, michelle, with whom i had played little league baseball, shelly, who was in my junior honors us history class, lori, who sang in choir with me, and dann-Y, who was a buddy of mine all through junior high and high school...

many, many more,

who were unable to attend,

were there in spirit.

it was a very nostalgic day.

###

i was at the back of the funeral procession, which brought mark from owensboro to henderson and home to his final resting place. at one point i looked down at my speedometer and realized the long line of cars ahead of me and i were only going 45mph on the 70mph audubon parkway. i giggled to myself. mark, who liked pretty women and fast cars, wouldn't be diggin' this trip one bit! too bad, mark... we continued to slowly but surely make our way.

as we neared henderson, cars, vans, trucks, and semis pulled to the shoulder of the road and stopped out of respect for the procession.

###

around 3 o'clock, we bid mark a final farewell at roselawn cemetery.

###

(mark with richard petty, king of nascar)

... i have finished the race,
i have kept the faith.
(2 timothy 4:7 niv)

now...

mark is with the KING of kings!
until we meet again...

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

turn, turn, turn...

2010-09-19T12:01:00.004-05:00

Ecclesiastes
Music-Pete Seeger

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to be born, a time to die
A time to plant, a time to reap
A time to kill, a time to heal
A time to laugh, a time to weep

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to build up,a time to break down
A time to dance, a time to mourn
A time to cast away stones, a time to gather stones together

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time of love, a time of hate
A time of war, a time of peace
A time you may embrace, a time to refrain from embracing

To Everything (Turn, Turn, Turn)
There is a season (Turn, Turn, Turn)
And a time to every purpose, under Heaven

A time to gain, a time to lose
A time to rend, a time to sew
A time for love, a time for hate
A time for peace, I swear it's not too late.
~@~@~@~

my kids' hope friend, andrew, welcomed his son into the world this week.paxton only weighs 2 lbs; but, i hear he is a fighter like his dad!
~@~

an old friend was killed in a motorcycle crash on his way to workfriday night. he was a dad... ~@~
i need to plant a tree; while i am still young.God willing, i will see it growand bear fruit.

~@~

"laughter through tears"is NOT my favorite emotion.if i am crying, let me cry, dammit!

now, laughter causing tears,is a totally different story:D

~@~

with God i can build myself up.though i find myself closer to Himwhen i am all torn down.(the rub)

~@~

when i am happy,i like most to dance with myself...when no one is looking.

~@~

i have lost two friendsin the past 3 weeks.i am mourning what once was.

~@~

i have allowed obstaclesto come between God and me.it is time to move them out of our way!

~@~

i keep "my garden" small.i love and protect all that is in it.i have allowed a few weedsover the years thinking,they need a place too.

that was foolishness!

weeds are weeds;they are destructive.they will destroy a garden(no matter how big or small it is).

i hate weeds!

~@~

i have prayed about and fought battles.at times i waged war with windmills;at times i waged war with giants.

war is tiring.right now, i am resting.

~@~

i have learned to embrace onlythat which is good.i have learned not to embraceonly for the act of looking good.

looks can be deceiving!

~@~

when i am bored...depressed...i eat.

it is time to busy myself...count my blessings...(one-by-one)and fast.

~@~

my favorite pair of pajamas...are a pair my friend, dana, gave me.they have developed holes:(

i think i shall use the fabric to make somethingsweet:)

~@~

i keep "my garden" small.i love and protect all that is in it.i have allowed a few weedsover the years thinking,they need a place too.

that was foolishness!

weeds are weeds;they are destructive.they will destroy a garden(no matter how big or small it is).

i hate weeds!

~@~

the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus.(phillippians 4:7)

it will for you, too.
it is not too late.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

smoke rises

2010-09-11T14:26:00.006-05:00

i cannot let this day pass
without remembering its significance.

(just before the collapse)

september 11, 2001

dressed in a gray 3/4 length sleeved tee, my ralph lauren weekenders, and steel-toed metatarsals, i walked into the administrative building where our office was located. not unlike any other day, my boss, tl, asked if i wanted to go have a "smoke"...

(NO, I'VE NEVER SMOKED!!!)

i said, "sure, let's go, but let me get me a grab a cupppa coffee first..." ("having a smoke" at the company where we were working was more like "hanging out around the water cooler";)

i grabbed a cuppa, and we headed out of the building. as we did so, t.l. held the door for one of the accountants, who was arriving for work. "have you all heard that an airplane just hit one of the towers?" pam asked.

jack, who was joining us for "a smoke" said that he had heard about it...
no details.

we walked out onto the patio. preoccupied, i drank my coffee. tl, jack, and pat smoked and talked. i heard them talking but really wondered what tower the airplane had hit. i didn't realize pam and jack were referring to one of the towers at the world trade center and that the airplane was in fact a large jet...

shortly thereafter, pam stuck her head out the office door and informed us that a second plane had crashed into a second tower. my co-workers quickly extinguished three cigarette butts in a sand-filled ashtray located outside the office door. we hurried back into the building.

it dawned on me...
the towers at the world trade center!!!

i followed tl into our office, which was also the information center (where cnn headline news constantly looped) for the company's tele-monitors . tl and i just stood there in stunned silence, horrified. our co-workers, rhonda and sue, arrived. none of us could believe what was happening...

we heard our fellow employees start to gather in the lobby to watch the news. we walked out to join them...
more breaking news: "the pentagon has been hit!"

concurrently, a maintenance man walked into the lobby from the factory. he looked over his shoulder and exclaimed, "guys, this is not a terrorist attack...
these are acts of war!!!"

false reports ensued: "we are getting unofficial reports that the white house and the capitol building have also been hit!!!"

around me, the look of shock and disbelief encompassed the faces of everyone, respectively. i walked around the corner into the hall to catch my breath. a facilitator was teaching a class across the hall from where i stood. the instructor looked at my face obviously wondering what was happening. i walked toward the door as he opened it.
"we are under attack..." i heard the words come from my mouth. "they have hit the wtc, the pentagon, the white house, and the capitol building..."
the gentleman turned away from me, uttered something, and dismissed his class.
i rejoined tl, rhonda, sue, and we made our way back into our office. in complete silence, we stared at the monitor...

"tl, what is going on; there's smoke coming from the bottom of that building???" i said. "smoke rises; something is not right!!!"

tl shrugged his shoulders, "i don't know; but, you're right..."

within seconds the building began to collapse. it was dust from the collapse i had witnessed pouring from the lobby floor of the south tower.

i grabbed my phone and keys and left work.
i drove straight to my church...

to pray.

i prayed and prayed and prayed... our church hosted an impromptu prayer vigil that day for our community...

that day will forever be etched in my mind...

and the prayer will forever be in my heart...

it is there today.

love and GOD'S blessings,
dani xx

ksp

2010-09-04T11:43:00.004-05:00

henderson county high school's
senior class president...

(kitty katherine!!!)

congratulations to the 2011 class officers!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

K4P

2010-08-31T10:34:00.003-05:00

class officer election time again,
and katherine is running for
senior class president!!!

good luck, love:D

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps. maggie approved this message!

i love summer...

2010-08-22T14:49:00.002-05:00

but i

DIG

fall!!!

my babies are back:)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

kentucky rain...

2010-08-16T12:19:00.002-05:00

33 years ago today on a rainy kentucky afternoon, i sat in my grandmommie's living room watching television when abc anchorman, harry reasoner, broke into regular programming to report that elvis presley had died of an apparent heart attack at his home in memphis, tennessee.

i still remember the smell that lingered from the recent down-pour as i ran across the street to see if the neighbors had heard the news...

where were you when the news
of the passing of
"the king of rock 'n' roll"
broke?

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

12 years...

2010-08-05T13:22:00.005-05:00

gone by...

(katherine's first day of kindergarten 1998)

(katherine's and jacob's first day of their senior year)

all in the blink of an eye.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

pictures, pictures, pictures...

2010-07-17T11:10:00.005-05:00

(my sweet girls)

(photos by martin studio)

steve martin has always had the ability
to capture the true essence of my katherine.
(go martinstudio.com)

(lexington photos)

my mom surprised katherine with another photo session.
this is the only other photographer that has ever worked with katherine.
also very nice work.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

june...

2010-07-08T11:48:00.012-05:00
in photos:

i turned 41.

katherine had her senior pictures taken by
"mr. steve" (click).

maggie sported her first hair-bow.

i hope you are enjoying your summer,
dear friends!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

now and then, part deux...

2010-05-29T13:33:00.004-05:00

(marshalls, ushers, and usherettes 2010)

(marshalls and usherettes 1986)

congratulations class of 2010!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

now and then...

2010-05-27T11:45:00.003-05:00

(honors night 2010)

(honors night 1986)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

simply chase

2010-05-20T10:00:00.015-05:00

i picked up katherine on tuesday night:
it was her first full day of work at the library.

katherine: did you dvr idol?
me: yes.
katherine: what did lee sing?
me: i cannot remember, but it was a lynyrd skynyrd song.
katherine: "sweet home alabama"?
me: no.??...
katherine: "simple man"?
me: maybe... (i'm not good with song titles)

after showers and jammies, i turned on idol,
and we watched.
casey james did his thing;
crystal did hers.
then ryan seacrest announced,
"here's lee dewyze with
lynyrd skynyrd's, 'simple man'..."

katherine: i love this song...
but it makes me sad.
me: why does it make you sad?
katherine: it reminds me of chase...
it was one of his favorite songs.

~@~@~@~@~@~

yesterday the john deere was low on fuel, and i knew that i needed to get the grass mowed given the forecast was rain for the next several days. so, i went to the gas station and filled up my can. i decided to drive the back way home because there was so much construction going on on the main roadway in town (the back way takes me past the cemetery where chase is buried). as i drove by, i couldn't help but glance his way...
i thought to myself, young parents shouldn't have to think about buying plots and a monument for themselves...
much less their children.
~@~@~@~@~@~

this morning i opened the tea-towel drawer to pull out a clean towel and dishrag. when i did i noticed a box in the bottom of the drawer. the box was labeled, mosquito coil. that box has been in the bottom of that drawer for years, and it's been years since i've paid any attention to it.

i bought it the night i took katherine, hannah, carlie, elise, and chase to the drive-in... yes, chase was the only boy in the bunch (totally his choice)! that was the night we started calling him hugh (hugh hefner).
he thought the nickname was epic!

that was a fun night for the kids (not so much for our neighbors trying to watch batman begins). the kids were a little rambunctious... let's just say, i would be willing to bet that the current owners of my old windstar could to this day still find skittles in its creases and crevices...
they can thank chase and carlie for those little finds of fruity sweetness, which went flying as hugh and carl were jumping up and down in the back of the van when the bag busted...
EVERYWHERE;)

~@~@~@~@~@~

chase may be gone, and the decal on katherine's back windshield may no longer exactly say, in loving memory of chase trent (as several letters have gone missing), but chase will remain in our hearts and our minds
FOREVER.

~@~@~@~@~@~

love and God's blessings,dani xx

may eleventh,

2010-05-11T10:34:00.008-05:00
nineteen hundred and ninety...

at seven thirty in the evening.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

second verse...

2010-05-07T14:37:00.013-05:00

almost same as the first.

twenty-four years ago
found my mother and me shopping for
a pastel dress...
shoes to match...
and short, white gloves...
(requirements for junior girl, honor students to usher the seniors at graduation)

voila!!!

(can you find me?)

~@~@~@~

last night
found katherine, jacob and me shopping for
a pastel dress
shoes to match
and short, white gloves...

and...

a black tuxedo...
shoes to match...
and white shirt...
(requirements for junior girl/boy, honor students to usher the seniors at graduation)

voila!!!

the dress...

(photos of katherine in the dress to follow;)

and the girl after shopping...

(sipping on a cotton candy shirley temple)

they didn't make those 24 years ago!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

first job

2010-05-02T10:20:00.004-05:00

(katherine after receiving her good news: 4/28/10)

nervously, katherine got out of the commander on wednesday and made her way into the henderson county public library for her very first interview... for her very first job. she was in her interview for about 30 minutes before reappearing.

"i think it went well; but i don't know if i will get the job because there may be only one position... i told them that if it were between hannah and me to give it to hannah since she was the one who told me about the opening."

"we'll just have to wait and see," i responded with a reassuring smile.

we decided on chinese take-out for dinner. while i was in the restaurant picking up our empress and mu-shu, the director of the library called katherine to let her know that she'd been hired... as well as hannah! YAY!!!

much love,
dani xx

hmm...

2010-04-30T11:54:00.004-05:00

is it better to make a bad choice for the right reason

or

a good choice for the wrong reason?

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

just things

2010-04-28T12:56:00.008-05:00
that make me smile:

to know that...

in just 2 short weeks we will be celebrating our 20th wedding anniversary:)

~@~@~@~

the sound of...

snoring under my covers:)

~@~@~@~

when i buy katherine something like...

which i know she adores even though she rolls her eyes at me:)

~@~@~@~

that the eunuch...

has finally decided that the lane,
not the animal shelter,
is his home:)

~@~@~@~

here is wishing you
things
to make you :)

love and God's blessings,
d xx

the WINNER is...

2010-04-27T11:25:00.006-05:00
dawn!

indeed, it was mrs. moss' wedding gown
inside the box...

a gown hand-made in 1937
by her mother.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

GIVEAWAY hint...

2010-04-22T11:34:00.005-05:00

for those of you who haven't guessed yet,
as well as...
for those of you who have andthink your answer may be incorrect,
you can find the answer to "what is in the bag?"
in the first 1/3 of the
mosses monday posts!!!
however, if you think you've alreadyanswered the question correctly,
look no further:)))

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx
ps you will find all mosses monday posts in ascending order on my side bar entitled,
"our love story".
click HERE to enter.

you have until 8am monday, april 26, 2010!

a mosses monday GIVEAWAY...

2010-04-19T10:53:00.005-05:00
this morning when i went to take maggie out for a walk,i opened the front door to find this...

a gift bag full of
PRICELESS
on my front porch!!!
(it came from mosses nieces,
marlene and susie.
thankyousomuch!)

i knew that part of it was coming;
there are photos of the mosses inside the bag.

however, along with the photos,
you may notice that there is also
a gift box in the bag...

be the first to guess what is in the box;
and you will receive a mossy kind of gift
sent with love all the way from the lane.

you may submit your guesses up and until
april 26, 2010, @ 8am (next monday morning).

good luck:)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

gold...

2010-04-11T11:19:00.004-05:00
nature's first green is gold,
her hardest hue to hold.

her early leaf's a flower;
but only so an hour. (robert frost)

such...
is spring on the lane.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XLIV...

2010-04-05T11:18:00.008-05:00

he was back nearly to his same old self
but with a new sense of purpose...

which God had bestowed upon him.

~@~@~@~@~@~

John 3 (niv)

Jesus Teaches Nicodemus

1Now there was a man of the Pharisees named Nicodemus, a member of the Jewish ruling council. 2He came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the miraculous signs you are doing if God were not with him."

3In reply Jesus declared, "I tell you the truth, no one can see the kingdom of God unless he is born again."

4"How can a man be born when he is old?" Nicodemus asked. "Surely he cannot enter a second time into his mother's womb to be born!"

5Jesus answered, "I tell you the truth, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless he is born of water and the Spirit. 6Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. 7You should not be surprised at my saying, 'You must be born again.' 8The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit."

9"How can this be?" Nicodemus asked.

10"You are Israel's teacher," said Jesus, "and do you not understand these things? 11I tell you the truth, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. 12I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? 13No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. 14Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the desert, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, 15that everyone who believes in him may have eternal life.

16"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

~@~@~@~@~@~

mosses never spoke again of the time he spent with God. but, his actions, both big and small, spoke volumes...

Spirit gave birth to spirit.

when he was strong enough to start eating at the dinner table, each day before lunch mosses began to have jean read a chapters from his family bible, which she did then marked her place for the next day. i believe the words she read, words he had once read for himself, filled a hunger in him that had never been quenched prior to his recent Spiritual birth... a hunger food alone never filled.

Light came into his world.

mosses also took on a couple of projects that were very close to his heart. he decided to patronize projects at both his and mrs. moss' childhood churches, zion baptist church and niagara united methodist church, respectively.

it was plain that
what had been done to mosses
had been done through God.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

on easter...

2010-04-04T14:04:00.003-05:00
john 20:18
mary magdalene went to the disciples with the news: "i have seen the Lord!"

i have seen Him, too!!!
but, i tell you the truth;
you must believe to see...
have a blessed easter, my loves.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

remember...

2010-04-02T11:45:00.006-05:00

i don't know what a cross says to you.
however, a cross says to me, "remember".

john 16:4 "I have told you this, so that when the time comes you will remember..."

so, on this good friday, may you remember.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XLIII...

2010-03-22T11:46:00.006-05:00

"mosses, are you talking about God???
did you talk to God???"

"yes," he replied, "i asked Him two times if i could return.
but, golly-muggins, the third time was a charm..."

~@~@~@~@~@~

mosses had been a man with a death sentence...
set to expire in just a matter of hours...
according to what the doctor had told us
just two evenings earlier.

however...

God stepped in and granted him a reprieve.
mosses wasn't ready yet.
he knew it.
i knew it.
and, most importantly, God knew it!

~@~@~@~@~@~

mosses' road to recovery was not an easy one. after a few weeks of rehabilitation, the hospital released him. still, he was very weak and needed a totally different level of care than that which he had been receiving from his sitters prior to his hospitalization.

it was a period of adjustment for all involved.

~@~@~@~@~@~

before his set-back, mosses (at the age of 90, crippled with arthritis, and battling parkinson's disease and macular degeneration) arose every morning, drank a cup of coffee, ate a bowl of cereal, bathed and shaved himself, read the local newspaper, took care of his business, and ran his errands. every afternoon, he ate a big lunch and lounged in his leather recliner watching the comings and goings on the ohio river... and caught a catnap here and there. every evening, he watched as the bell rang marking the closing day on wall street, ate a bowl of soup and a sandwhich, watered his flowers and garden, and readied for bed...
ON HIS OWN!

after his set back, he did exactly the same things...
in exactly the same order...
but needed help doing much of it...

~@~@~@~@~@~

it was hard on him.
it was difficult for the sitters who'd basically been used to
only driving and cooking for him.

however, it seemed to work.
and...
little-by-little mosses' strength returned.

it wasn't long before he was doing well...

REALLY WELL!!!

he was back nearly to his same old self
but with a new sense of purpose...

which God had bestowed upon him.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

reasons...

2010-03-15T13:01:00.010-05:00
i haven't been blogging regularly...

seasons 1-6.5 of grey's anatomy... this topic probably deserves a whole post of it's own or maybe even a book, ha! but, i'll just say that john gave me season 1 for Christmas. hooked, i have since purchased all the available seasons! (katherine and i have now watched 111 episodes.)

~@~@~@~

Dani Drury Berrong

Create Your Badge

facebook... i have fb'ed for a long time (during which time i continued to blog religiously... at first). now that many of my blogger friends have also started fb'ing, this is how i have chosen to keep up with them.:/(i'm being lazy!)~@~@~@~

mario... yep, super mario bros. for the wii was another of my Christmas presents. (lol, this also deserves its very own post.) my name is dani, and i am a nerd; i have always been!!!
(for those of you who are also nerds, i am 5 coins and one level away from totally beating the game and saving peach;)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx
ps. the reason i need to start blogging again is because when i began blogging it was not about me... rather, it was about having a place for katherine and future generations to come and read about my life on the lane!!!

grandmommie

2010-03-08T13:15:00.006-06:00
"happy birthday!!!"
up to where you are.

coffee... 2 teaspoons of sugar and a heaping teaspoon of coffee-mate.

an apron with big pockets... full of clothes-pins.

the smell of estee lauder
(light from body-powder not heavy from perfume).

peter pan, creamy peanut butter...

solitaire.

snow days and summer days.

the glider.

summer breeze.

photo albums.

a red address book.

a laundry chute and a coal bin.

sweet tea.

stories...

me over thee.

church.

soft night-gowns.

crisp sheets.

northerners.

crocheted afghans.

home.

adeste fideles.

an infectious laugh.

general hospital.

sweet cakes with chocolate sauce.

love!

love and God's blessings,

dani xx

finishing your thoughts...

2010-02-22T10:39:00.021-06:00
with mine...

(expounding upon my friends' 10 most recently updated blog titles)
1. Life on The Ohio River In Henderson Kentucky -MM 803.9
"Dropbox- an Alternative to a Thumb Drive"

(computer lingo was not what first came to my mind.)

2. The Far Side Of Complexity
"A Ringlet Tutorial"

(wash and let dry)

3. Cakerwakers
"Motherhood is grand"

(a portrait is worth a thousand words)

4. lindanjake
"Monday Miscellany"

(thinking of gary today)
if you would like to watch and listen,you may pause my music.

5. Sixteen Going on Seventy...
"Something"

(my new one should be arriving within the hour:)

6. The DeCoursey Project
"My food tonight"

(the "other white meat" is thawing)

7. peek-a-boo prints
"long lost feeling"

(the soft touch of my grandmothers' hands...and so, so much more)

8. Luv Ur Kids
"Quote I found"

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.(and, since, i've not been the same...)

9. Sheye Rosemeyer
"days in melbourne."

(florida... not australia;)

10. Queenmother Mamaw
"What I found when the sun came out."

(the eunuch's collar,
the 2nd of which he "lost" in the snow)

love and God's blessings,dani xx

the sweetest weekend...

2010-02-16T10:54:00.002-06:00

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

the eunuch...

2010-02-04T11:08:00.002-06:00

has apparently decided to stay on the lane...(this week, anyway;) love and God's blessings,dani xx

always a mom...

2010-01-30T09:17:00.003-06:00
(cinnamon toast and sodas/the breakfast of champions;)

being a mom seems to be my calling in life... though i am only mom to katherine, i have always been blessed to have a house-full of kids!!! i really do feel blessed that katherine's friends feel welcomed, comfortable, and safe here on the lane!!!

yesterday afternoon, katherine called me while i was out running errands and asked if she could go to dinner and a movie with friends in evansville (about 15 miles from home). given that we were under a winter weather advisory, i told her she could go to dinner but not to a movie. as it was, there was already a little over an inch of snow on the ground when she returned.
kat: "mom, the roads are bad. hannah and barrett are just going to spend the night."
me: "ok..."

well, katherine, john, and jacob left for lexington this morning (they are going to the uk/vanderbilt basketball game and to spend the night with my parents in georgetown)... leaving me, hannah, and barrett snowed in on the lane.
(we received a total of 5 inches of the white stuff here on the lane, and i am jeepless, ha!)
so, instead of bach'ing it this weekend, i am still playing mom, which is just fine with me:) i got up earlier and made breakfast for hannah and barrett, found a movie for them to watch, and told them to make themselves at home...
i was going back to bed;P
what's the weather like in your neck of the woods?

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

trickle, trickle, trickle...

2010-01-27T10:20:00.005-06:00
milton???

was unfortunately incarcerated... AGAIN:/ is there no such thing as an "outside cat" anymore? after writing my last post, i waited a bit to see if he was just out "catting around", but, when he didn't return, i called the pound.

me: "yes, this is dani berrong. i picked up my kitten a couple of days ago, and he's missing again. is he there by any chance?"
pound worker: "huh?"
me: "black kitten, new red collar, rabies tag... has he been surrendered?"
pound worker: "he's here. you comin' to get him?"
me: "yes ma'am, thank you. i will be there in a few minutes."

so, AGAIN, i went to retrieve him.

(milton on the drive home)

(milton as we pulled into the drive)
so far... so good!

~@~@~@~

kegel when your ob tells you to kegel!!! if you didn't when you were told to do so, it's never too late... it works!!! (even 17 years after the fact;)

~@~@~@~

polo or lacoste?

~@~@~@~

katherine has put down her harp indefinitely... her teacher retired:(
however...
she's picked up the violin and is VERY good at it!!!

~@~@~@~

our uk wildcats were ranked #1 for a day-and-a-half:D
they got over that really quickly:/

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

trickle of consciousness II...

2010-01-25T10:49:00.005-06:00

currently, i'm wondering where milton is... "milton" is the name we attached to a black kitten who arrived on the lane two days before Christmas. katherine claimed him, and santa bought him: a collar, food, an igloo, and a heating pad to keep him warm in his igloo. since? he has taken off his collar, wondered away from home, been impounded, been neutered, had his shots, gotten a new collar... and, as of noon yesterday, has wondered away again. DAMN CAT!!! ~@~@~@~today, i should be writing a "mosses monday"; i'm behind on my installments. however, before i proceed with the proverbial "rest of the story", i need to give a lot of thought and prayer as to how i will do so.i think you will understand.~@~@~@~ john bought me a new laptop for Christmas. it was a dell; so, i returned it. (my last laptop was a dell, and i was not really impressed.) i wanted to try something different like maybe a macbook... however, i kind of fell in major like with the new sony vaio:), so, i bought it. thus far, it's been great; the picture (hd/blue-ray) and speed are remarkable!!! ~@~@~@~ my Christmas tree is still standing in the den. i DID take all the Christmassy ornaments off and replace them with hearts. now???it's a valentine tree:)i'm such a kid; the lights make me happy:DDD ~@~@~@~i thought i had one payment left on my commander (because i had one payment stub remaining in my payment book) and had decided that i was going to start putting the money with which i usually make the payment in an account for a family trip in the spring. i digress... the bank sent me a new book of payment stubs. the commander will not be "mine" for another year:( ~@~@~@~ that's all for today... how has your 2010 been thus far? love and God's blessings, dani xx
(maggie and her prodigal brother)

thread in time thursday...

2010-01-14T10:24:00.003-06:00
(dani 1 year)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

saturday's, snow-slinging snapshots...

2010-01-09T12:40:00.003-06:00

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

let it snow...

2010-01-06T09:35:00.004-06:00
about a week and a half before Christmas, i happened to remember that john had asked for new trousers. i usually special order all his jeans and slacks from eddie bauer because the company will hem to fit the individual. (john's inseam is a little shorter that which the mainstream clothiers mass produce.)

anyway, when i arrived on eddie bauer's website, i noticed an advertisement for "the special of the day". being the consummate consumer i am, i couldn't resist; so, i clicked on the tab. the company was actually having a great day sale on all its winter gadgets.

after scrolling past tumblers, heated ice scrapers, packaged smoked sockeye salmon, and the such, something caught my eye. it was a bright red thingy that looked interesting.

when i clicked on the image, i found that it was a snow slinger.
(as an aside, when i googled the above images for this post, the caption for the first read, "perfect for a kid who's too damn lazy to make a snowball with their hands", lmao!:)
my first thought was
SNOWBALL FIGHT ON THE LANE!!!
i counted how many i needed and proceeded to order 17 of them!!!
~@~@~@~

late Christmas eve night, my brother, katherine, jacob, and i packed up the commander and quietly delivered them to all katherine's friends' front porches. the only stipulation upon receiving the package was that the recipient would have to come to the lane for a big snowball fight following the first measurable snow.

well, we are expecting 3-5 inches tonight:D
so...
IT'S ON!!!

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

a decade...

2009-12-31T13:12:00.004-06:00
2000

(katherine and william at 7)

2010

(william and katherine at 17)

how do you mark time?

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

seventeen...

2009-12-23T12:37:00.003-06:00

seventeen photos comemorating kitty katherine's sweet 17!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XLII...

2009-12-15T15:22:00.005-06:00

gleaning through the newspaper, he lounges in his leather recliner...

admiring the lights on the Christmas tree and embracing the warmth coming from the fire in the large brick fireplace, she sits in her spot on the sofa...

the only thing separating the two is an end table, which is really no barrier at all... as the two, more often than not, sit holding hands with their clasped hands resting alongside an old rotary phone on the small etched top table.

here, they never have to be apart from one another.

~@~@~@~@~@~

"mommie, where did mike go?" he asks slightly bending down the top of his paper and peering over at her.

"he went to run some errands for me," she clearly recalls then grins at her doting husband, "he should be returning anytime."

he straightens his paper and continues reading.

a few moments later...

"mommie?"

"yes, george?"

"now, then... can you give me a hint of something you would like for Christmas this year."

she thinks.. but for not long...

"i cannot think of a thing, george. i have all i could ever want!" she glances back at the pine standing in the corner of her den. the Christmas lights, which are perfectly strung from branch to branch, reflect in her glasses, she smiles a beautiful nose-wrinkling smile because she is happy.

here, she clearly remembers everything,
she has more than she could ever have imagined,
and there is no sadness.
(furthermore, here, there is no need for spectacles.
she is just more comfortable wearing them...
than, not.)

~@~@~@~@~@~

he puts his paper aside, rises out of his chair with ease, and makes his way over to the rather large windows that overlook the river. there is steam coming from the water, which is much warmer than the air. he makes a mental note of the barge pushing its way upstream, third one today.

he turns and gingerly walks into the kitchen to mix himself a toddy.

"can i make that for you, george?" she offers.

"golly muggins, no, mommie," he responds as he steadily pours first a shot of vodka followed by enough tomato juice to cover the ice into his highball glass.

here, there are no artificial hips nor knees,
no arthritis, no cataracts nor parkinson's disease.

~@~@~@~@~@~

there is commotion coming from the entry way...

upon being opened, the car-port door makes its own distinct sound as it loses its seal,
the wind coming off the river howls into the foyer and down the hallway,
then, there is the sound of the door being forcefully shut against the wind and locked...

finally, mike, bundled head to toe carrying a couple of grocery sacks, appears in the kitchen.

"i'll take one of those too, old man" with a twinkle in his eye and gleam in his smile he adoringly says to his dad.

"mike, are you back already? that didn't take long at all!" excitedly, she says as she hurries into the kitchen to join her two favorite men.

here, there is no need for worry;
their beloved son always returns safely and soundly.

~@~@~@~@~@~

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps. on my side-bar, you will find earlier entries entitled, "our love story"in ascending order.

a few Christmas pix 2009...

2009-11-30T11:13:00.005-06:00

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

top 25 Christmas movies on the lane...

2009-11-27T10:15:00.008-06:00
(young at heart)

this is perhaps a bit of a continuation of my last post;

for, it was several days ago while ordering more Christmas movies to add to my ever-growing collection that i became nostalgic and started reminiscing about my "wgn days gone by"...

i have quite a collection of movies in my library.
now, i'm going to share with you 25 of my all-time favorites.

(a few are subject to change... as i have yet to watch several (the bishop's wife, white Christmas, holiday inn, four Christmases, ernest saves Christmas, and Christmas vacation II) that i recently purchased. ha, i don't expect the latter two to put a dent in my list; but one never knows!)

the following is my compilation.
they are in NO order.

miracle on 34th street no one has ever captured the essence of santa quite like edmund gwenn.
the bells of st. mary's in my opinion, the best bing crosby movie of all time.
it's a wonderful life two words... jimmy stewart:)
a Christmas story you'll shoot your eye out, kid.
rudolph the red-nosed reindeer claymation at its best... i don't recall ever missing this tv Christmas special. burl ives rocks!!!
heidi only shirley temple's version for me.
a Christmas carol love them ALL and hope to see disney's most recent 3-d adaptation of this Christmas classic.
how the grinch stole Christmas dr. suess' tv version captures this story best; however, the big screen adaptation is beautiful!
the family stone teaches us to be ourselves... to let our freak flags fly!
the holiday i see glimpses of myself in this movie. i also see glimpses of my mosses:)
Christmas vacation Everyone should have an aunt bethany, no!!?!?
elf well, son of a nutcracker:P
young at heart the sweetest holiday musical EVER!!!
the bishop's wife swoon!!! cary grant WAS an angel in disguise:P
a charlie brown Christmas see number 5.
just friends a movie to lighten up the holiday; sure to make you giggle and some of you blush...
the little princess see number 6
annabell's wish a lovely newer animation with a deer sentiment.
Christmas in connecticut the black and white version for me!
the lost angel margaret o'brien WILL steal your heart!!!
little women see number 20.
stepmom "a caterpillar doesn't die, it changes into a butterfly, the same way i am going to change my form and be a caterpillar in your memory..."
the santa clause who didn't want a mystery date game!!?!?
funny farm another chevy chase, holiday must-see, imo:)
Giant though not a Christmas movie, i love this epic movie and always set aside a day (usually thanksgiving) during the holiday season to watch this as well as number 13:)))
love and God's blessings,
dani xx

***update... the bishop's wife could have easily knocked about five movies from the list above, though it only had to replace one;))) and, it did!!!

i miss frazier thomas...

2009-11-24T10:52:00.005-06:00
(frazier thomas)

i was a latch-key kid as well as a child of the cable age of television. hence, "chicago's very own, wgn" was one of my best childhood friends... especially at Christmastime. i don't recall a single year growing up that i did not watch miracle on 34th street (natalie wood), heidi (shirley temple) and a Christmas carol (reginald owen) on wgn's "family classics", which was hosted by frazier thomas.

from the mid 70's until his untimely death in 1985, i enjoyed family-oriented films "fraz" handpicked to present to his audience... to me:) for a couple of hours most sunday afternoons, with thomas as my companion, we journeyed to the center of the earth, urged on alexander graham bell to win the heart of miss mabel hubbard, invent the telephone, and become a rich, successful business man, ventured with robinhood as he stole from the rich and gave to the poor...

as well, fraz was right there with me many a dreary, december afternoon cheering on the grandfather as he searched for his beloved heidi who'd been kidnapped by her wretched aunt, witnessing the new york court of law declare that macy's santa was the one and only, true santa, and watching a crotchety, stingy, cold old man transform into a caring, giving, loving uncle, friend, and employer after being visited by the ghosts of Christmas past, present, and future.

the latter... the holiday movies make me most nostalgic.

as i sit here missing the innocent days of my youth, i wonder... if frazier thomas were still alive today, would he still be showing the same movies he did year after year (which would be fine with me;)? or if, nearly 25 years later, would he have added others to his "family classics" list???

which Christmas movies would be on your classics list?

do you remember frazier thomas and the glory days of wgn?

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XLI...

2009-11-23T10:11:00.011-06:00
a very mossy thanksgiving post:)

it's the memories of...

these sweet little things
(to the tune of "my favorite things")

brisk wintry winds
at their home on the ohio,
a warm welcoming hug,
and her nose-wrinkling smile...

"let me take your coats.
go, join george in the den.
i'll bring katherine's popcorn
and the toddies right in."

sunday morning service
and lunch at ralph's diner
time spent with our mosses
nothing could be finer.

a waitress treating the mosses
like a queen and a king.
memories like these make my heart
want to sing!!!

her gravelly voice,
his southern charm,
the twinkle in her eyes
when he arrived from their farm.

simmering soup in a pot
on the stove.
a fire in the fireplace
awaiting a stoke.

when i'm lonely
when i'm anxious
when i'm feeling bad...
i simply remember these sweet little things,
and then i don't feel so sad.

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps. you may play "my favorite things" by double-clicking it on my player, which is located at the top of my right side-bar:)

moving on...

2009-11-19T11:36:00.005-06:00
or just moving...

i think things here on the lane are starting to move forward. it has taken a while, but i do see signs.

katherine, who was adamant that she never would drive again after chase's death... who told us to park her car in the garage until we could find someone in need to give it...

has driven the aforementioned vehicle...
twice:)

the black dress kat wore to chase's funeral is no longer draped across her drum set.

after 2 months she returned it to her closet.

the shoes, however, are still right where she left them...

well, most things are moving forward...

~@~@~@~@~@~

that being said, i'm sure you have probably noticed that there is a new boy friend in katherine's life. (oh, to be young and resilient!!!) he is no stranger to us nor to any of you, who have been longtime blogging friends of mine.

jacob is one of the original fab-five (kat, hannah, jacob, barrett, and chase). he and katherine have been dear, dear friends for years. you may recall that he is also one of katherine's "peasants":)

(remember?)

their story is sweet, and i hope katherine will one day get back to her blog and write about it. but, i will just tell you that the night before chase left us, all their group got together for dinner and a trip to the mall followed by barnes and noble. while at b & n, katherine and chase shared a brief moment alone in the children's area where they played with trains on the train table and talked. there, chase told katherine to open her eyes and see that jacob was crazy about her...
that jacob had always been crazy about her!

that was the last conversation the two shared.

~@~@~@~@~@~

evidently, chase opened her eyes.

~@~@~@~@~@~

in closing this particular chapter of our lives, i'd like to share a little something i wrote and gave to katherine the morning of chase's funeral.

Kindred Spirits

In heaven, Chase and Katherine were
Separated FOR birth.
But God, in HIS infinite wisdom
Placed them close on earth.

So the kindred spirits
Could be there for one another…
Katherine as the sister…
Chase as the brother.

There for one another
They always were
Until that tragic night.
It’s still all a blur.

But through the words of a song
Introduced to katherine by chase,

“I know Saint Peter will call my name.”

Katherine knew in her heart,
He had returned to their heavenly place.

She immediately knew that one day Saint Peter
Would call her also to God’s heavenly realm…
Where she would be welcomed home
By Saint Peter…
Her brother, Chase, standing beside him.

~love, mom (9-2-09)

~@~@~@~@~@~

chase and katherine were very much kindred spirits.

they were "only" children who shared a love for
chocolate chip mint ice cream,
kittens,
rock music,
hot buffalo wings,
video games,
trips to best buy,
and being spoiled.

teachers along the way from elementary school to high school remarked that as alike as they were...
the two should have been twins

so, i guess it's no wonder that chase often referred to katherine as his sister from another mother:)

no wonder at all...

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XL...

2009-11-16T08:29:00.010-06:00

one of his nurses mentioned that
mosses could be suffering from icu syndrome,
a condition that causes clouding of
consciousness, restlessness, disorientation,
etc...

i wondered if he even remembered the story
he had wanted to share with me...

~@~@~@~@~@~

over the next few days, mosses' condition improved; hence, dr. divine ordered that he be moved out of intensive care to the medical unit. the move did wonders for mosses mentally. though he still had his days and nights confused, his mind seemed otherwise clear.

~@~@~@~@~@~

the following sunday, i waited until evening to visit mosses. the hospital is usually abuzz with visitors on sundays after church; i wanted mosses to get some rest before i went to see him. when i arrived, i found mosses sitting up in bed watching the news, and jean was sitting in a chair at the foot of his bed working on a crossword puzzle.

"well, dani, bless your heart," mosses welcomed me.

i walked over and kissed him on the forehead.
"hey, jean." i continued, "has this been a long day for you two?"

they both spoke at the same time...

jean said it had been a long day;
mosses said it hadn't been too bad.

then mosses asked if i had gone to church.

when he asked me, it reminded me that a gentleman in the church whom we both knew had just a few days prior welcomed a granddaughter into the world. i told mosses.

"and guess what her name is, mosses..." i teased.

"well, i don't know, dani, what is it?" he asked.

"they named her lucy," i smiled at him. i saw his face light up and a twinkle appear in his eyes just at the mention of the name, lucy.

"well, that's mighty nice, dani, mighty nice..." he concluded as his mind seemed to wander to another place in time to his beloved lucy.

~@~@~@~@~@~

"were there a lot of people at church today, dani?" jean asked.

"there were quite a few... the sanctuary was nearly full, and there were people sitting in the balcony," i answered.

jean and i continued to chit-chat about this and that. somehow we arrived at the subject of an affluent business man who had successfully opened an overseas business. and i made a comment that if he were ever to choose to use his talents and charisma for God's work there was no telling what he could accomplishment.

~@~@~@~@~@~

"you know, dani," mosses began, "i asked Him three times if i could return."

jean and i turned toward mosses who had rejoined us.

"the first two times he told me, 'no'. then, He told me you had asked many times..." he continued.

with eyes that probably resembled a deer's in the headlights, i glanced over at jean and then quickly turned my attention back to mosses.

"when i asked Him the third time," mosses shrugged his shoulders, slightly turned out his hands, and matter-of-factly concluded, "He said, 'yes'."

there was complete silence.

~@~@~@~@~@~

"mosses, are you talking about God??? did you talk to God???"
i had goosebumps on top of my goosebumps!!! i think jean did as well!

"yes," he replied. "i asked Him two times if i could return. but, golly-muggins, the third time was a charm!
however, now, He told me you had asked many times..."

tears began to navigate their way down my cheeks,
"i didn't want you to go if you weren't ready, mosses:
i didn't think you were ready!!!"

i walked over to his bedside, took his hand in mine, and just held it.

the story...

mosses had been in heaven.

and what a gift God had returned to me!

~@~@~@~@~@~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

snapshots saturday...

2009-11-07T10:45:00.003-06:00
(katherine 1997)

(louise benton, katherine's harp teacher, and i)

much love,
dani xx

ps. i hope you are having an especially lovely weekend:)

a foto friday

2009-10-30T07:18:00.003-05:00

from pumpkin pancakes, french toast,
and a new sofa to lounge on afterward
to a precious puppy-dogger...

from sea monkeys,
which finally hatched,
to a sweet afternoon on the lane...

this has been our week in pictures;
it's been a good one:)

have a lovely weekend, all!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx>

mosses monday XXXIX...

2009-10-26T11:19:00.006-05:00

placing his hands on both sides of my face,
he interrupted, "no, you...
i cannot tell you right now, dani.
i've got no voice,
but, when i am able,
i am going to tell you all about where i've been."

"ok," i replied, "i cannot wait to hear all about it, mosses!!!"

i never spoke any truer words...
i couldn't wait to hear mosses' story.

~@~@~@~@~@~

over the next few days, i visited mosses frequently. each time i visited, i had high hopes that he'd tell me the story. but it didn't happen; he mentioned nothing. at first i assumed he was just waiting until we were alone... as there were always others visiting when i was there.

as time passed, mosses continued to heal; he got stronger and stronger. however, he was becoming more and more confused with each visit. one of his nurses mentioned that could be suffering from icu syndrome, a condition that causes clouding of consciousness, restlessness, disorientation, etc...

hence, i wondered if he even remembered the story he had wanted to share with me. the thought that i may never know made me really sad. however, i could not be too sad because the greatest gift was that he was alive and getting better!!!

~@~@~@~@~@~

after church on sunday, i arrived at the hospital for the noon visiting time. the icu doors opened, and i made my way back to mosses room. he looked great!

"hey, mosses, how are you feeling today???" i greeted him.

"well, dani, bless your heart..." he said as i kissed his forehead.

"mr. moss didn't eat much of his lunch," his nurse informed me.

i looked over at mosses; he was situating himself in his bed.

when the nurse left, i asked him if he was still hungry. he responded that he was and that he just wasn't fond of what they had brought him for lunch. i thought something must have been up, for mr. moss normally had the appetite of a strapping young man.

so, i asked him if he wanted me to see if i could go and pick him up a plate-lunch from his favorite restaurant.

"well, now..." he started, "that would be mighty nice, dani."

poking my head out his door, i asked his nurse if that would be a problem. she said that it wouldn't and that she would allow me to bring it in and stay with him through the 2pm visit.

when i asked mosses what he'd like to have for lunch, he told me that he wanted bean soup and cornbread. THEN, he told me he wanted to go WITH me!!!

in response to my attempting to explain to him that he could not leave the hospital, he explained to me that we would just SNEAK!!!

~@~@~@~@~@~

not knowing how to handle the situation without upsetting him, i plopped down in a chair, which was located next to mosses' hospital bed.

"God, what am i supposed to do now?" i silently prayed.

"now then, dani, can i help you with your coat?" mr. moss was confused.

"i've got it, thank you," i replied. "you are going to have to be really quiet while i wheel you out of here."

i went on to describe that we were getting on the elevator, then in the car, that we were driving, and that we were at the restaurant.

mosses slid one of his legs out from under the covers as if he were going to go into the restaurant with me. i told him that he would have to wait in the car... that the restaurant was crowded... people waiting in line for a table. i told him to just wait there... i would get his lunch to go.

"golly muggins, i cannot believe that there's such a crowd this time of the day..." he said.

"sit tight, mosses," i'll be right back; do you want me to leave the car running?"

i looked over at mosses to find that he'd drifted off to sleep.

"thank you, GOD!!!"

~@~@~@~@~@~

about 15 minutes later, i returned to the hospital bearing beans, cornbread, and a slice of chocolate pie.

"can i get anything else for you?" the nurse offered.

"he would love a cup of coffee with a straw and a few extra napkins," i answered her. "thank you."

when he heard my voice, mosses stirred.

"i have everything you ordered plus a slice of chocolate pie."

the nurse brought mosses a cup of coffee and wheeled his hospital tray over in front of him. then i proceeded to place the food on the tray. "would you like for me to help you, mosses?" i asked.

"i'd appreciate it, dani," he answered.

~@~@~@~@~@~

mosses ate every bite...
pie and all!

about the time i got everything cleaned away, mosses' family trickled in to visit.

"well, hello there, george... dani," susie said.

i smiled at her, "hey, susie!"

"george, are you just now finishing up lunch?" she asked.

mosses cut his eyes over at me and proceeded to tell her and the others that i'd sneaked him out of the hospital and had taken him to ralph's to pick up his lunch!!!

i had a little explaining to do...

~@~@~@~@~@~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

my two little loves...

2009-10-24T11:19:00.004-05:00
today, i am going to spend
the ENTIRE day
with these two...

katherine and jacob:)

off to ihop for pancakes:P

have a lovely day, all;
i intend to do so:D

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XXXVIII...

2009-10-19T11:26:00.012-05:00

apparently, mosses was NOT READY!!!

(2 days prior, the intensive care doctor
had given mosses only 2 days to live...
as his vital organs were ceasing to function.

however, the doctor never took into account
mosses' will to live... nor God's omnipotence.)

~@~@~@~@~@~

as soon as i walked outside the hospital doors, i turned on my cell phone and called john, "guess who is awake and talking!!!"

there was silence.

"john, are you there?" i asked.

john responded, "i'm here..."

"john, i just came from seeing mosses... john, he's awake and talking!!! his kidneys are functioning!!! he wants a toddy!!!"

john was stunned. he had warned me several times not to get my hopes up...

"well, i'll be," he finally replied.

~@~@~@~@~@~

knowing that mosses' family would want to spend time with him, john and i waited until the latest visiting time to return to the hospital that evening. i was just hoping that mosses would still be awake.

at 8 pm the automatic doors opened allowing visitors back in the intensive care unit. i wanted to run to his room; but, instead, i walked at john's side.

when we FINALLY arrived at his door, the first thing i noticed was that mosses was NOT in his bed!!!
the bed was empty and made!!?!?

in slow motion, i anxiously turned my head toward john only to witness a big grin forming across his face. i turned back around to see that mr. moss was not only awake... he was out of his bed sitting in a chair.

further, there was no ventilator helping him breathe; there were no ties on his wrists restraining him.
he was just sitting there looking up at us!

~@~@~@~@~@~

"it's good to see you're back with us, young man..." john said as he gently patted mosses' shoulder, "feeling rough?"

mosses smiled, shrugged his shoulders, and tilted his head, "well, john, not too bad for a share cropper's son."

mosses' voice was raspy at best, but we understood every word.

i knelt down on the floor in front of him. "mosses you are such a blessing to..."

placing his hands on both sides of my face,
he interrupted, "no, you...
i cannot tell you right now, dani.
i've got no voice,
but, when i am able to,
i am going to tell you all about where i've been."

"ok," i replied, "i cannot wait to hear all about it, mosses!!!"

i never spoke any truer words...
i couldn't wait to hear mosses' story.

~@~@~@~@~@~

john and i only stayed a bit longer that night. we knew that mosses was tired... it had been a BIG day for our dearest friend.

"sweet dreams; i love you mosses..." i said to him as i kissed his forehead.

"well, bless your heart, dani, we love you, too."

~@~@~@~@~@~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

maggiepie...

2009-10-16T12:25:00.002-05:00
(my sweet, little puppy-dogger)

have a great weekend, loves:)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XXXVII...

2009-10-12T07:56:00.007-05:00

"God, take him now if he is ready;
but, if he is not ready. leave him,
and leave him whole!!!"
(i had never prayed so boldly in my life.)

i started to cry.
i cried harder.
the harder i cried the more still mosses became.
i cried until i could cry no more.
mosses fought til he fought no more.

i sat there with my head lying on his still hand,
which was still embraced by both of mine...

both of us were spent.

~@~@~@~@~@~

a few moments later a nurses' aid saw that i was still in mosses' room. "miss, you are going to have to leave. visiting time was over 10 minutes ago."

wondering where the time had gone, i raised my head and looked at the clock on the wall . "can i stay for just a bit longer??? he's calm now."

"no," she insisted, "you need to leave NOW so that we can stay on schedule."

"schedule!!?!?" i thought to myself.

i kissed mosses' hand and told him i loved him.

~@~@~@~@~@~

as i was leaving i saw that susie and jean were still there. i stopped and told them that mosses had finally calmed down and that he seemed to be resting peacefully. susie told me that mosses' nephew was planning to visit at noon. so, i told her and jean that i would wait until the 2pm visit to return. jean replied that she would be there at that time as well.

i left the hospital that morning exhausted but at peace knowing that God was in total control of the situation.

~@~@~@~@~@~

time crept by very slowly that day...
every time my phone rang, my heart seemed to skip a beat...
no news was good news!

~@~@~@~@~@~

at a quarter til two, i walked out of my house and to my van then drove to the north tower of the hospital where mosses' room was located. i got out of the van, walked into the hospital, got into the elevator, watched the doors close, and felt myself start to ascend. everything felt like it was happening in slow motion.

when the doors opened and i stepped out into the hallway, i saw jean leaning against the wall waiting for the icu doors to open.

"any news???" i asked.

she shook her head, "no".

"the dry cleaners said they would have mr. moss' black suit ready first thing in the morning. the boys (mrs. moss' nephews, charlie and rufus) will be coming into town tomorrow; so, i have the house ready for them to stay. the service will be on saturday..." she continued.

although i heard what she was saying, i digested very little of it.

~@~@~@~@~@~

the doors opened at 2pm sharp. as we walked through them, mr. mosses' nurse noticed us. "ladies," he addressed us, "come, you need to see something."

as we anxiously proceeded into mosses' room, we found him sleeping (just as i'd left him a little over 5 hours prior). my first assumption was that the nurse was only showing us that he was finally resting.

however, i was wrong.

the nurse took mosses' hand in his and tapped it with his other hand, "mr. moss, mr. moss, you have visitors!!!"

at that very moment, mosses opened his eyes. then he turned his head toward me; looking right at me he said,
"well, dani, bless your heart."

he still had the ventilator in his mouth, but there was no misunderstanding his words.

tears of happiness started to flow from my eyes.

"mosses!!!" i exclaimed.

i looked at jean and then at the nurse.

"is he going to be alright???" i asked the nurse.

"well, it seems his kidneys started functioning again this morning, and his chest sounds are sounding more and more normal. dr. divine ordered another chest x ray, so we should know more about the pneumonia later this afternoon..."

the whole time the nurse was talking i just looked at mosses. he was smiling around the sides of the vent.

i kissed his hand...

"i bet i know what you want..." i said to him.

he tilted his head to the side waiting for me to finish.

"a toddy!!!"

he grinned again and replied, "sounds mighty nice."

~@~@~@~@~@~

apparently, mosses was NOT READY!!!

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

a little fall break

2009-10-10T18:36:00.002-05:00
last sunday morning john packed the commander to overflowing and waved, "good-bye", as i backed my jeep out of the driveway and onto the lane. i waved back to him.

carrying precious cargo, katherine, jacob, hannah, and darin (aka... the scooby doo gang;), i drove 6 hours from the lane to our destination, the great smoky mountains!!!

late sunday afternoon, we arrived at our chalet, which i'd leased for the week. it was really nice... three bedrooms/three baths, a great room with pool table, big screen tv, and fireplace, a hot tub, and even dolly parton rockers, ha!!!

perfect:)))

the drive up???
not so much!!!

we decided that this would be a week of celebrations...

monday = halloween

we started monday off with the pancake pantry followed by photos in the village, a scary walk through the mysterious mansion, a ride up the sky lift, barbecued chicken pizza at the chalet and a scary movie!!!

tuesday = thanksgiving

we celebrated with a trip to ripley's aquarium, tepee pictures, and later at the chalet... relaxation in the the hot tub followed by turkey sandwiches... it was pouring rain, which meant no driving down the mountainside for me!!!

wednesday = Christmas

on wednesday we went to the outlet mall stimulating ralph lauren's economy and did a late lunch at tony roma's. we then went to the Christmas place in pigeon forge where we each bought Christmas tree ornaments for each other so that we could decorate a silk tree back at the chalet. what's Christmas without a little tree trimming??? after exchanging ornaments and decorating the tree, we finished out the day with brick oven pizza:P

oh... the scooby gang also happened upon a bear...

not to worry, after a call for help, i rescued them:/

(photo of said bear as we passed by it;)

thursday = new year's eve

we kicked off thursday's celebration with a trip to the log cabin pancake house. afterward, we headed over to pigeon forge for fun at magiquest, pictures at wonderworks, and cherry limeade at sonic. we returned to gatlinburg for old time photos, taffy, and fudge. after a nap, we ventured to corky's for barbecue nachos... then we returned to the chalet but not before stopping at food city for jacob's birthday cookie, sparkling cider, and a yule log for the fireplace... lol, none of this, however, to be outdone by the blow up babe we happened onto in the parking lot!!!

we've had a wonderful week;
i hope you have, too!!!

much love,
dani xx

ps. on second thought, i think i might should have entitle this post, "a LOT of fall noshing..." :P

a photographer and his subject...

2009-10-01T10:12:00.008-05:00
(katherine elizabeth and "mr. steve")

~@~@~@~@~@~

you may remember these photos from a past post...

or these from another...

or maybe this STORY.

~@~@~@~@~@~

now, you can put "mr. steve" with a face:)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps. if you would like to visit his site, click HERE.

mosses monday XXXVI...

2009-09-28T06:45:00.007-05:00

i found him in his darkened room with
a ventilator tied in his mouth
(he was blistered ear-to-ear from having
constantly been moving his face side-to-side
fighting the vent),
and his hands were tied to the sides of the bed.
his eyes were open but were "fixed".

i laid my head gently on his chest
and sobbed... "please, GOD, please..."

~@~@~@~@~@~

those weren't just words i uttered to God. i was pleading for Him to reveal Himself to me. i couldn't feel His presence and didn't like feeling alone. i wanted to know if i was supposed to tell my mosses that it was ok to die or if i was supposed to tell him to keep fighting. i wanted to know if i was supposed to pray for a miracle or if i was supposed to pray for God to take him.

but, there was no answer.

~@~@~@~@~@~

just as the icu physician predicted, mosses' condition continued to deteriorate with each and every visit. the pneumonia had spread to his other lung, his fluid output had come to a near halt, and he had yet to regain consciousness.

the first 36 hours of the 48, which the doctor had given mosses', sped by so quickly. from wednesday night until friday morning i prayed for an answer from my Father.

there was a reason mosses' had told
me just the week prior that he was not
ready to die anytime soon, or so i thought.

still, no answer came.

~@~@~@~@~@~

on friday morning i arrived at the hospital for the 8am visitation. jean and mosses' two nieces were standing at the icu doors waiting to be allowed in to see him.

jean told me she had sent mosses' black suit to the dry cleaners and that the eversons (life-long, church friends of the mosses) had begun to prepare a country ham for the bereavement dinner, etc... other arrangements were discussed, but i was too numb to absorb any more information.

the words "country ham" took me back in time to the many Christmases i'd spent with the mosses, which included country ham, grits casserole, greens, green jello with pineapple and nuts, pecan pie... a fire in the fireplace, family, friends, angel ornaments (made by mrs. moss), silver tinsel, and toddies.

automatically, at 8am the doors opened. the 4 of us entered: jean and i stayed behind as only 2 visitors were allowed in his room at a time. a male nurse greeted susie and mosses' other niece. susie turned around to us and motioned for us to join them. as we neared them susie told us the nurse wanted us to all be able to spend the full time with mosses... that the nurse said mosses had had a really bad night.

without coming right out and saying it, the nurse wasn't sure mosses would make it til the next scheduled visit time.

when i walked in his room, i couldn't believe how much worse he looked than the previous night. he was so swollen, his skin was ashen, his eyes were almost completely clouded over, and many of the blisters had burst on his face making it look like he'd been severely burnt from ear-to-ear.

still he flailed fighting the ventilator and the hand restraints. mosses looked like a chained animal. it made me physically ill seeing him that way.

"during the night, we had to tighten everything," the nurse explained, "for his own well being. that's also why the sides of the bed are padded."

i stood back while the three visited. the whole scene was so surreal...

~@~@~@~@~@~

after a bit, they excused themselves. i inched closer to mosses and pulled a chair up next to his bed. then i untied one of his hands and lowered the safety rail. i sat with his hand i mine. it was all i could do to hold on to it as he was fighting my hold too.

"mosses," i said, "i don't know what i'm supposed to do... how i'm supposed to pray. i don't want to lose you, but i don't want you to lie here and suffer any longer either."

mosses was still so strong and moving so much that i had to use both of my hands to hold on to his hand. i took his left hand into my left hand whereas our palms were touching, and i locked my thumb around his. i cupped my right hand over-top his hand and held on for dear life. i then pulled his hand in mine down to the bed beside him and lay my head atop.

it was at that very moment that God presented Himself, and the words came.

"God, take him now if he is ready;
but, if he is not ready. leave him,
and leave him whole!!!"
(i had never prayed so boldly in my life.)

i started to cry.
i cried harder.
the harder i cried the more still mosses became. i cried until i could cry no more. mosses fought til he fought no more.

i sat there with my head lying on his still hand,
which was still embraced by both of mine...

both of us were spent.

~@~@~@~@~@~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

football homecoming 2009...

2009-09-26T09:11:00.005-05:00
(jacob and katherine)

and another...

here they are 2 years ago.

(football homecoming 2007)

time goes by so quickly...
cherish every moment:)

love and GOd's blessings,
dani xx

thread in time thursday...

2009-09-24T09:10:00.003-05:00
(me, jeanne, and ginny)

i found this photo a few days ago, and it made me smile:) it was taken nearly 18 years ago here on the lane during an engagement, Christmas wassail ginny and i were hosting for jeanne.

i love gin and jean, and they love me.

when i found it and showed it to katherine, she laughed and asked what i was wearing... before telling her it was a lanz dress, which was very in style at the time, she responded that i looked like a pilgrim:/ oh well... she really would have thought i looked like a pilgrim if she'd seen my shoes; they were black patent leather capezios with a flat bow on the toe, ha!!!

did i look like a pilgrim to you???

love and GOd's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XXXV...

2009-09-21T07:45:00.003-05:00

for the next 9 hours, all i could hear in my head were john's words "he was despondent". for the next 9 hours, all i could think was "God, mosses isn't ready yet... i'm not ready, yet..."

~@~@~@~@~@~

finally, i made my way to the lane. when i opened the door of the van john was there to greet me with a hug and a kiss; he grabbed our luggage and follow katherine and me into the house. once inside, he told me that i needed to hurry to the hospital as it was almost the 6pm visiting hour for the intensive care patients.

i looked at him, "still no change???" i asked.

john shook his head, "no..."

quickly, i washed my face, brushed my teeth, slicked my hair back into a ponytail, and headed out to the hospital.

~@~@~@~@~@~

when the elevator doors opened i hurried around the corner and buzzed for the nurses to open the intensive care ward's doors so that i could go back and see mosses. the doors automatically opened, and i only took a few steps before a nurse greeted me.

"are you dani... here to see george moss???" she asked.

"yes, ma'am," i responded.

"i'm supposed to direct you to go into the family meeting room."

fearing the worst, i followed her.

she opened the door for me. i entered to find mosses' family, his icu physician, and his power of attorney there in the middle of a very serious conversation. everyone looked at me kind of oddly.

to this day, i don't know why i was directed into that room...
as i had no business being there.

nonetheless there i stood as the doctor explained that mosses had about 48 hours left to live. he was suffering from congestive heart failure, pneumonia, and kidney failure. he proceeded to say that he believed it futile to do more to sustain life.

further, mosses' power of attorney spoke saying that she agreed with the doctor.

~@~@~@~@~@~

i suppose i was in immediate and total shock and disbelief, and my face must have expressed just what i was feeling.

"dani, is there something you want to say or ask???" mosses' power of attorney asked me.

i started crying and could hardly talk, but i said i didn't think mosses was ready to die, and i asked the doctor if "doing no more to sustain life" meant that they were going to take him off the ventilator and discontinue his iv.

the doctor said that he would be left on both... he would just do nothing more. he went on to say that mosses' was in such grave condition that the vent and fluids wouldn't be enough to sustain life once mosses' kidneys completely failed.

~@~@~@~@~@~

mr. moss' nephew shook his head and commented that he'd watched his mother suffer while on life support and that he just could not stand the thought of watching his uncle suffer any longer...

i felt selfish and guilty.

after excusing myself from the meeting room, i ran to mosses' icu cubical. i found him in his darkened room with a ventilator tied in his mouth (he was blistered ear-to-ear from having constantly been moving his face side-to-side fighting the vent),and his hands were tied to the sides of the bed. his eyes were open but were "fixed".

i laid my head gently on his chest and sobbed...
"please, GOD, please..."

~@~@~@~@~@~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

camp out on the lane...

2009-09-19T21:09:00.005-05:00
2009

(missing one...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

there are silver linings...

2009-09-12T09:37:00.011-05:00

katherine has been elected junior class president this week!!!

we are so proud of her:)

~@~@~@~

wonderful new friendships have been formed.

and, old friends have reunited.

~@~@~@~

we have had an adventure...

which resulted in a friend getting a new puppy
and a puppy getting a new friend:)

~@~@~@~

a new couple has been formed.

hmmm...

~@~@~@~

and last (but not least),

maggie has enjoyed every minute of it:)

~@~@~@~

katherine contributes the sweetness
to the one who is watching over it all...

from his new place in heaven.

~@~@~@~

love and God's blessings,
dani xx