camp out on the lane...

2009

(missing one...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

there are silver linings...

katherine has been elected junior class president this week!



we are so proud of her:)

~@~

wonderful new friendships have formed.



and, old friends have reunited.



~@~

we have had an adventure...



which resulted in a friend getting a new puppy
and a puppy getting a new friend:)

~@~

a new couple has been formed.


~@~

and last but not least,



maggie has enjoyed every minute of it:)

~@~

katherine contributes the sweetness
to the one who is watching over it all...



from his new place in heaven.

~@~

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

a light in the window...

after our embrace, i knelt on the floor by phyllis. i noticed her hand resting on the on the arm of her sofa; i gently took it into mine. it was awkward i was there and maybe inappropriate as i wasn't family. but i was there all the same... there to offer some sort of comfort,  there because tiffany asked us to come,  there because chase had been like one of my own.

~@~
words were said but not many...
mainly just "why?" and the such...
out of a deep respect for chase's parents,
i'll keep the very intimate details to myself.
i will, however, share some of what we knew  to be true at the time.

chase was at a going away party for a friend who was leaving the following week to work as a page for the us senate in washington dc.
chase called home at 7:30 to tell his parents his girl friend's dad had come to pick her up and he would be home in about an hour.

chase was alone in his vehicle, wearing his seat belt, and on his side of the road when the accident occurred between 8pm and 8:30pm.

a 56 year-old man was driving a large pick-up truck traveling in the opposite direction, crossed the center line, and hit chase's car head-on.

the news report and rumors about chase having had a passenger hadn't been accurate. it was the driver of the truck who had had to be cut from the wreckage and flown to the hospital.

i understood that at around 9pm, randy received a call from someone who told him chase had been in a wreck (i don't know how much more information he received at that time).

it was also my understanding that randy called a state policeman (i think a neighbor).  the neighbor made some calls then returned randy's call unofficially notifying randy, it was true... chase had been in a head-on collision and had not survived.

chase's parents sat waiting for nearly 3 hours after the accident before there was any type of official confirmation.
~@~

when the detective, the coroner, and a state policeman arrived, i gathered katherine, jacob, and barrett. when we walked outside, i saw the three officials walking, heads down, toward the house. they had had to park their vehicles on a different street because there were so many people who had gathered on chase's street (the number of individuals lining the street had probably doubled or tripled in the hour we had been in the house. chase was loved!).

katherine, the boys, and i got into the jeep, and i started the engine. there weren't many people right there in the cul-de-sac, so, i was able to get my jeep turned around in the street's end circle. slowly i drove. the people, mostly kids and friends of chase, respectfully parted allowing me to make my way down the street.

through the tears in my eyes, i recognized many faces but one caught my attention. sarah. sweet, sweet, sarah... there she stood with tears streaming down her swollen face. she had been at our house many times over the years. she, too, had been friends with chase for many years. i stopped and rolled down my window to give her a hug.

bless her heart... she, too, was totally grief stricken.

while we were hugging, she saw that katherine was sitting beside me, she asked me to wait there. she went around the front of the jeep to katherine's door. when katherine opened her door the interior lights came on in the jeep.

what happened next was so surreal.

kat and sarah embraced and both began to openly sob. trying to keep a little bit of composure, i looked away from them. when i did so, i noticed that the crowd around us seemed to have all their eyes fixed upon my backseat. the light allowed them to see who was in the vehicle with me.

in slow motion, i turned toward katherine just as sarah noticed over katherine's shoulder that jacob was siting in my back seat. "OH.MY.GOD! OH.MY.GOD!" sarah screamed as she pulled away from katherine. "JACOB! OPEN.YOUR.DOOR!" he did, and sarah grabbed him loudly sobbing, "WE ALL THOUGHT IT WAS YOU! WE THOUGHT YOU WERE WITH CHASE!" sarah held him tightly, and they cried and cried.

everyone around us openly wept...
tears of GREAT sadness...
tears of GREAT relief... tears of GREAT sadness.
~@~

for some reason only God knows, katherine and jacob were tired and had decided not to go to the going away party. hannah had made plans to go out with another friend prior to being invited to the party (so she did not go). finally, barrett had just forgotten about it and had instead chose to stay at home that night. otherwise the five would have likely all been together just as they had been the previous night and the whole day of the horrible tragedy.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

a peasant lost...

(jacob, chase, katherine, hannah, and barrett)

a week ago last night, we received devastating news on the lane...
a dear friend had been killed in an automobile accident.

~@~

katherine and jacob nervously came into my bedroom, "mom, people are posting on facebook there was a really bad wreck. they are saying chase was in the wreck... quick, will you turn on your police scanner?"

i did, but the scanner was unusually quiet.

katherine and jacob returned to her room to see if there was any more updated information.

in the meantime, john and i were watching tv. our local station had a "breaking news" report. the reporter, said that there had, indeed, been a head-on-collision on one of our county roads and one of the drivers had been killed. his passenger had had to be cut from the wreckage and life-flighted to a nearby hospital.

as soon as i saw the car, i knew it was chase's.

i turned to john and shook my head.
my eyes welled up with tears. my heart began to break.

~@~

many of you long-time blogger friends of mine will recall that katherine and hannah referred to their three best guy friends as their "peasants".

chase ryan trent was one of their "peasants".

~@~

i quickly got out of bed and put on my clothes. then i made my way to the kitchen and checked my cell phone for missed calls. i had MANY missed calls. the most recent was from hannah's mom, linda. i immediately double-clicked her name in order to return her call.

when she answered, i knew. "dani, there was a wre..."
i interrupted her, "was it chase???" my voice broke.
"yes..." she said. "he was killed, dani."
"no..." i replied as i physically sank.

katherine and jacob were standing right there with me. all the color drained from katherine's face, and jacob, in horror, ran out the back door. katherine chased after him.

~@~

"who was the passenger, linda?" i asked not knowing if i really wanted to know considering the image i had in my head of chase's car.
"we have heard that the passenger was 'a jake or a jacob'..." she hesitated.
"linda, jacob hagan is here. it's not him."
"oh, thank GOD!" relieved she exclaimed back into the phone.

i told her barrett was at home... it wasn't him either. as we finished our conversation, katherine told me jacob was on his phone with barrett, who wanted desperately for us to come be with him at his house. so, i grabbed my purse and keys.

~@~

on our way to the jeep, i told jacob to call his mother and let her know that he was okay... as it seemed there were those who thought he was chase's passenger.

~@~

on the drive to barrett's house, there was only the sound of muffled sobbing.

when we arrived, the three friends saw each other and embraced. for that moment in time, no one else existed. in total shock, i could only stand frozen and watch.
~@~

after a bit, katherine came to me and told me chase's girlfriend, tiffany, had asked that we come to chase's house to be there with her and chase's parents. hence, the kids climbed into the jeep, and i drove them to chase's house.

when we turned onto chase's street, i noticed the street was lined with kids and neighbors all waiting, wondering, and mourning. i stopped on the cul-de-sac right in front of chase's house. we somberly made our way to the front door and entered.

~@~

the house was mostly dark, but a light from the den shone through the kitchen. we walked toward the light and found chase's parents, randy and phyllis, and their pastor sitting in the den.

"oh, dani," phyllis said as she arose.

i made my way across the room to her and hugged her and cried with her.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

please keep chase's family and friends in your thoughts and prayers.

that man of mine...

this morning i wandered aimlessly into the kitchen to pour myself a cup of coffee. on the counter i found an empty coffee can sitting next to my car keys. i guess that was john's cue for me to go to the grocery store and get him some coffee... you think???


~@~@~@~


while john was out of town this past weekend, i rearranged the family room furniture and began to paint the woodwork. when john arrived home, his only comment was, "hmmm, you been paintin'???"


so, last night we were sitting in the family room watching the tv over the back of the couch. "john," i said, "do you think you could move the..."


before i could finish my sentence, john said, "i knew it:/ " he continued... "my opinion is, 'no', i liked the room the way it was."


"well," i said... "it doesn't really matter to me. i had just seen a photo online of a room arranged like this with the tv placed in front of the windows..."


"i've said what i think," he interrupted.
(in other words, he had no desire to moved the tv stand, tv, cables, etc...)


"oh, ok, well, in the photo there was a big plasma screen like you have been wanting, and with the room like this, there would be enough room for one."


silence...


john's whole expression changed. "i'll think about it."


"think about it" my derriere!!!
idea???
SOLD!!!


~@~@~@~


john needed buttons sewn on a couple of pairs of his bermuda shorts; hence, he brought them to me. "i need you to sew some buttons on these for me."


"do you have the buttons???" i asked.


"no, but surely there are some buttons around here somewhere..." he thought aloud.


"i don't think you'll find any, dear, " i replied. "and, the new super walmart doesn't have a sewing center."

~~~~~

a few minutes later, john returned with my travel sewing kit. "you have buttons; it says right here on the box, 'buttons'," he proudly pointed to the word on the box as he handed it to me.


i slid the kit from its box and opened it. then i chuckled to myself. the "buttons" that were in the kit were shirt buttons (like a centimeter in diameter... like 1/3 the size needed for fastening his shorts, lmao).

"i don't think these will work; do you???"
i asked as i showed him the buttons.


i hated dashing his hopes;p


by the way, there are extra buttons sewn inside both pairs of shorts!!! and, when i get in the mood, i WILL oblige him. furthermore, HE HAS LIKE 8 PAIRS OF SHORTS just like the two pairs he brought to me to mend:/

~@~@~@~

God, i LOVE that man of mine:)))
(i really do... with all my <3)

~@~@~@~

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

mosses monday XXXIV...

later that evening the icu doctor explained that mosses had congestive heart failure and a bit of pneumonia in one of his lungs. further, he said that he had decided to give mosses a coma-inducing sedative so that his body could rest and he would not fight the ventilator. worried, i stayed in the icu waiting room that night.

~@~@~@~@~@~

the next morning, mosses' nieces, nephew, and jean joined me in the icu waiting room. there were designated visiting times throughout the day for visiting the critically ill. when the icu ward doors were opened, we went in to see him two by two. mosses was resting peacefully. i kissed him on the forehead and whispered that i loved him in his ear.

again, the icu doctor greeted us. he told us that mosses had had an uneventful night (which was a very good thing) and with a couple of days of rest and antibiotics he should be on the mend.

"thank you, God!!!" i thought to myself.

~@~@~@~@~@~

after receiving such good news, i decided to go ahead with our plans to leave for georgia... as our family had been preparing for our visit, katherine was so excited, and john assured me he would check in on mosses daily.

thus, i returned home, packed the van, and off we went.

~@~@~@~@~@~

john's reports for the first couple of days were expected. mosses was still receiving antibiotics and sedatives and was resting. however, when john called the third day, i detected concern in his voice. he told me they had completely weaned mosses off the sedative, mosses was flailing (fighting the ventilator, which he needed), and that he was restrained.

worried, i asked john if the doctor considered this to be normal. john replied, "i haven't seen the doctor, but...." he hesitated.

"'but'??? but what, john???" i asked.

"dani, when i went in to see him,
mr. moss' eyes were opened and fixed.
he was despondent."

my heart felt instantly heavy and my cheeks and ears began to burn. "i'm getting ready to pack, john; we will be home early this evening."

"ok," he replied, "be careful!!!"

katherine and i were packed and on the road home within the next 20 minutes.

for the next 9 hours, all i could hear in my head were the words
"he was despondent".

for the next 9 hours, all i could think was
"God, mosses isn't ready yet...
i'm not ready, yet..."

~@~@~@~@~@~

it was a long 9 hours.

~@~@~@~@~@~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

dreamality...

i've always had vivid dreams. most, along the way, have been the normal... (it's the end of the school year, i cannot remember my locker number, the book i need so that i can study for my final is in my locked locker, it has been right there all year, hence i haven't studied all year, i need to make a passing grade on the test in order to graduate, etc...)

as well, i have had many weird dreams and a few nightmares (but not many).

however, the dream i awoke from this morning was just plain funny... one i MUST share!!!

i dreamt that john and i were lying in bed watching a movie. i had my head on his chest and fell asleep (yes, i fell asleep in my dream). when i awoke (in my dream), i noticed that john's chest hair had gotten thicker and it smelled really odd... further, he was snoring to beat the band.

at about that time i REALLY awoke to find that maggie had wiggled her way up between our pillows. she was snoring, and i had my face in HER belly, which didn't smell odd (for maggie) at all;)

ROTFLMAO!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

happy birthday, elise!!!

as our day is coming to a close
here in the states,
it is only beginning for you,
"down-under":)
i hope it will be a wonderful one...
full of fun, food, family, and celebration!!!

i love you, my dear friend
and shall celebrate God's gift of you
all the day long:D

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

if you'd like to wish elise a happy birthday,
you can do so here or visit her at her blog,
inspiration surrounds... creativity abounds.

abc's...

a: is for algiers... where my aunts and i got lost while in new orleans. if you ever see an exit for algiers, DON'T TAKE IT!!!

b: is for break-up... katherine and chico broke up on tuesday night:( the story is personal; but, we will always have a big place in all our hearts for katherine's first REAL boyfriend.

c: is for chocolate... last night, in my pj's (well, it was bedtime), i took a friend a big chocolate bar. chocolate is the consummate cheer-upper, no???

d: is for diprivan... did you know they found diprivan in michal jackson's rental mansion??? (i had never heard of diprivan, but i have, now.)

e: is for everything... everything is going to be alright:)

f: is for 40... i hope my 40th year gets better for EVERYone!!!

g: is for ginny, my bff from college, who brought a welcomed, super-fun getaway to this crazy time in my life:D

h: is for heather... she is currently battling brain cancer. she was diagnosed a month after her husband, pat, was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. (see "p") i love her and pray that God will keep her comforted in the palm of His hand.

i: is for inappropriate... i can say some of the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times.

j: is for john... have i told him lately that i love him??? why, yes... yes, i have:)

k: is for katherine... she started her junior year in high school a little over a week ago and has barely come up for breath.

l: is for lousianna... don't EVER plan a trip to louisanna in the summer!!! it's about the heat and stupidity... i mean humidity:/

m: is, of course, for my maggiepie... she's avoiding a haircut right now by pretending to be asleep under my bed:)

n: is for nutella... i gave in to it. now, i'm giving it up!!!

o: is for my brother, oj, who finally got a new job, yay!!!

p: is for an old, dear, young friend pat, who lost his battle against pancreatic cancer last week... he was a very remarkable, gentle, and precious man.

q: is for quickly... time goes by so quickly. i really wish it would slow down a bit.

r: is for rick pitino... who knew that such a seemingly stand-up kind of guy, coach, mentor could turn out to be such a pig!!?!? i'm glad louisville has him.

s: is for sam... my sweet little guy is going to be spinning pizza dough on jimmy kimmel next month. i hope to be able to fly out to la and see it live!!!

t: is for thai cuisine... it's interesting.

u: is for underwear... if you want it for pretty, victoria's secret/if you want it to not ride up your crack, hanes:P

v: is for voluptuous... i'm feeling rather voluptuous these days... i think it's also called fat, ha!!!

w: is for weather... the weather here on the lane is beautiful, today. i think i shall grab a diet coke and my iradio and go float for a bit:)

x: is for xxx... many hugs for all!!!

y: is for yo-yo... good luck to will this weekend. he will be competing at the 2009 world's!!!

z: is for zebras... i love that they are so black and white:)))

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

these have been the best of times...

and the worst of times.

i know i have been very hit-and-miss this summer;
but such has been life on the lane.

despite a few bumps and bruises, we are all doing well. i have a lot to tell but don't really know where to begin. sometimes "much ado about nothing" is easier to convey than "much ado about a lot". i think i'm overwhelmed and don't know where to begin. however, i will soon:)

thank you all for checking in with me; you are the best!!!

take care:D

love and blessings,
dani xx