but, if he is not ready. leave him,
and leave him whole!!!"
(i had never prayed so boldly in my life.)
i started to cry.
i cried harder.
the harder i cried the more still mosses became.
i cried until i could cry no more.
mosses fought til he fought no more.
i sat there with my head lying on his still hand,
which was still embraced by both of mine...
both of us were spent.
a few moments later a nurses' aid saw i was still in mosses' room. "miss, you are going to have to leave. visiting time was over 10 minutes ago."
wondering where the time had gone, i raised my head and looked at the clock on the wall . "can i stay for just a bit longer? he's calm now."
"no," she insisted, "you need to leave now so we can stay on schedule."
"schedule!!?!?" i thought to myself.
i kissed mosses' hand and told him i loved him.
as i was leaving i saw susie and jean were still there. i stopped and told them mosses had finally calmed down and he seemed to be resting peacefully. susie told me mosses' nephew was planning to visit at noon. so, i told her and jean i would wait until the 2pm visit to return. jean replied she would be there at that time as well.
i left the hospital that morning exhausted but at peace knowing that God was in total control of the situation.
time crept by very slowly that day...
every time my phone rang, my heart seemed to skip a beat...
no news was good news!
at a quarter till two, i walked out of my house and to my van then drove to the north tower of the hospital where mosses' room was located. i got out of the van, walked into the hospital, got into the elevator, watched the doors close, and felt myself start to ascend. everything felt like it was happening in slow motion.
when the doors opened and i stepped out into the hallway, i saw jean leaning against the wall waiting for the icu doors to open.
"any news?" i asked.
she shook her head, "no."
"the dry cleaners said they would have mr. moss' black suit ready first thing in the morning. the boys (mrs. moss' nephews, charlie and rufus) will be coming into town tomorrow; so, i have the house ready for them to stay. the service will be on saturday..." she continued.
although i heard what she was saying, i digested very little of it.
the doors opened at 2pm sharp. as we walked through them, mr. mosses' nurse noticed us. "ladies," he addressed us, "come, you need to see something."
as we anxiously proceeded into mosses' room, we found him sleeping (just as i'd left him a little over 5 hours prior). my first assumption was that the nurse was only showing us he was finally resting.
however, i was wrong.
the nurse took mosses' hand in his and tapped it with his other hand, "mr. moss, mr. moss, you have visitors!"
at that very moment, mosses opened his eyes. then he turned his head toward me; looking right at me he said,
"well, dani, bless your heart."
he still had the ventilator in his mouth, but there was no misunderstanding his words.
tears of happiness started to flow from my eyes.
"mosses!" i squealed.
i looked at jean and then at the nurse.
"is he going to be alright?" i asked the nurse.
"well, it seems his kidneys started functioning again this morning, and his chest sounds are sounding more and more normal. dr. divine ordered another chest x ray, so we should know more about the pneumonia later this afternoon."
the whole time the nurse was talking i just looked at mosses. he was smiling around the sides of the vent.
i kissed his hand.
"i bet i know what you want..." i said to him.
he tilted his head to the side waiting for me to finish.
he grinned again and replied, "sounds mighty nice."
apparently, mosses was NOT READY!!!
(to be continued...)
love and God's blessings,
ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)