Monday, October 12, 2009

mosses monday XXXVII...

"God, take him now if he is ready;
but, if he is not ready. leave him,
and leave him whole!!!"
(i had never prayed so boldly in my life.)

i started to cry.
i cried harder.
the harder i cried the more still mosses became.
i cried until i could cry no more.
mosses fought til he fought no more.

i sat there with my head lying on his still hand,
which was still embraced by both of mine...

both of us were spent.


a few moments later a nurses' aid saw  i was still in mosses' room. "miss, you are going to have to leave. visiting time was over 10 minutes ago."

wondering where the time had gone, i raised my head and looked at the clock on the wall . "can i stay for just a bit longer? he's calm now."

"no," she insisted, "you need to leave now so we can stay on schedule."

"schedule!!?!?" i thought to myself.

i kissed mosses' hand and told him i loved him.

as i was leaving i saw susie and jean were still there. i stopped and told them mosses had finally calmed down and he seemed to be resting peacefully. susie told me  mosses' nephew was planning to visit at noon. so, i told her and jean  i would wait until the 2pm visit to return. jean replied she would be there at that time as well.

i left the hospital that morning exhausted but at peace knowing that God was in total control of the situation.


time crept by very slowly that day...
every time my phone rang, my heart seemed to skip a beat...
no news was good news!


at a quarter till two, i walked out of my house and to my van then drove to the north tower of the hospital where mosses' room was located. i got out of the van, walked into the hospital, got into the elevator, watched the doors close, and felt myself start to ascend. everything felt like it was happening in slow motion.

when the doors opened and i stepped out into the hallway, i saw jean leaning against the wall waiting for the icu doors to open.

"any news?" i asked.

she shook her head, "no."

"the dry cleaners said they would have mr. moss' black suit ready first thing in the morning. the boys (mrs. moss' nephews, charlie and rufus) will be coming into town tomorrow; so, i have the house ready for them to stay. the service will be on saturday..." she continued.

although i heard what she was saying, i digested very little of it.


the doors opened at 2pm sharp. as we walked through them, mr. mosses' nurse noticed us. "ladies," he addressed us, "come, you need to see something."

as we anxiously proceeded into mosses' room, we found him sleeping (just as i'd left him a little over 5 hours prior). my first assumption was that the nurse was only showing us he was finally resting.

however, i was wrong.

the nurse took mosses' hand in his and tapped it with his other hand, "mr. moss, mr. moss, you have visitors!"

at that very moment, mosses opened his eyes. then he turned his head toward me; looking right at me he said,
"well, dani, bless your heart."

he still had the ventilator in his mouth, but there was no misunderstanding his words.

tears of happiness started to flow from my eyes.

"mosses!" i squealed.

i looked at jean and then at the nurse.

"is he going to be alright?" i asked the nurse.

"well, it seems his kidneys started functioning again this morning, and his chest sounds are sounding more and more normal. dr. divine ordered another chest x ray, so we should know more about the pneumonia later this afternoon."

the whole time the nurse was talking i just looked at mosses. he was smiling around the sides of the vent.

i kissed his hand.

"i bet i know what you want..." i said to him.

he tilted his head to the side waiting for me to finish.

"a toddy!"

he grinned again and replied, "sounds mighty nice."


apparently, mosses was NOT READY!!!

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)


Sally said...

Oh my goodness, Dani, you had me on the edge of my chair.

I love your Mosses series, yet I know it must be both painful and peaceful for you to write.


Wendi @ Every Day Miracles said...

So beautiful!! Oh my - tears. :)

Jacob R Parker said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Do you have this in pink? said...

Do we have to wait another week....Can't there be a midweek update??

SuzanSayz said...

Shame on that stupid nurse to shoo you out of there. I have positively NO patience for rule lovers like her. As far as I am concerned (and have always felt this way) There is no rule in this entire world that is more important than a person's genuine need.
Schedule. Poo. That's what I have to say to your schedule you foolish nurse.

Elise said...

Oh Dani, I couldn't read this fast enough, I desperately wanted to know about Mosses and I couldn't believe how he was when you returned to the hospital in the afternoon. As you said: Mosses was not ready.

PhotoChick said...

I was almost expecting this to be one of -- if not the final post with Mosses still living... I'm SO SO SO SO SO glad that's not the case! Such a wonderful reminder of how God really is always in control, and how His timing truly IS amazing! It feels great to give it all to God... Especially since He's given it all to us!

AMAZING post Dani!!!! Loved every bit of it!

All my Love,

Tanya said...

So beautiful! Mosses was most certainly NOT READY!!! God is great!!!

Love Tan xxx

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

God is a good!
Lovely story---so raw and amazing!

Little Sweethearts said...

Oh Dani, what a great post! I know that in the end it will turn out differently, but for now, I'm so glad that there is a happy ending to THIS story!


Heidi 'n' Jeff said...

I'm so relieved. I really didn't know what was going to happen.

Heavenly Father is in control for sure and he does bless us.

Lucy said...

When there is no hope it is always best to leave it up to God to do what is best. Such a riverting post and it was such a relief to read that he was not ready to go at this time. Your love and prays were so comforting for him.
Love & hugs.

Shannon said...

I wish there was a "like" button, I'd push it!