Tuesday, December 11, 2012

are you breathing?

john can be the warm, fuzzy type.
but it doesn't come really naturally to him...
nah, i don't think so.

~@~



thursday, december 10, 1992, 10:30 pm:

me: uh, john, i think i'm having contractions.
john: mel gibson's on leno tonight.
me: no, really, you probably need to take me to the hospital.
john: hell dani, you're not going into labor.  
just roll over and go to sleep.
me:  i'm not kidding.
john:  if i take you up there, they'll just send us home.
me: (laughing) i'm getting up and taking myself then.
~~~

thursday, december 10, 1992, 10:45 pm:

john: what are you doing.
me : i'm putting on my clothes.
john: dani, you're not in labor.
~~~ 

thursday, december 10, 1992, 10:46 pm: 

me (standing in a pool of amniotic fluid): well, my water just broke.  are you going to take me to the hospital now?
john: shit.
~~~



friday, december 11, 1992, 12 am:

john: do they have something to read?
me: the nurse said there were some magazines over in the corner.

john finds a golf magazine,
brings it to my bedside,
places it on my belly,
and proceeds to flip through the pages.
~~~

friday, december 11, 1992, 3 am:

me: will you go get the nurse?
i need something for pain.
john: she'll be back soon.
me: please, go get the nurse.
john: are you breathing?
me: what do you mean,
am i breathing?
john: you know, like they told you to do in lamaze...
me: yes, i am breathing,
not like they taught me in lamaze!
lamaze is bullshit!
go get the nurse!!!

john makes his way to the hall,
looks both ways,
returns to my bedside,
and informs me "the nurse"
has told him there's nothing she can give me.
~~~

friday, december 11, 1992, 5 am:

me: surely they can give me something for this pain...
john: can you hear that woman down the hall?

sounds of screaming, yelling, and gnashing of teeth come from the hall.

me: yes, will you go ask the nurse if i can have some pain meds yet?
john: i think they are all in with the other woman.
can you focus on something
and breathe?
me (thinking to myself): no, but i can give you something to focus on,
mr. berrong:/
~~~

friday, december 11, 1992, 9:24 am:

dr. sprague: big push, one more time!
john: i can see her head!
me: (pushing)
dr. sprague: here she is!
look at all that hair!
john: well, that was a piece of cake:)
me: grrr

~@~

happy 20th birthday to our "piece of cake"!!!



love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

a trickle of consciousness and it's facebook's fault...

yesterday i sat thinking that i needed to resume my mosses mondays.  i looked back to see where i had left off in our story; and after finding it, copying the end text of that excerpt, and pasting it at the beginning of a new one (like i always do), i sat staring at a virtually blank screen. 

i needed pictures for it...
pictures i don't have.
so, i stopped, logged out of blogger,
and rejoined facebook already in progress.

~@~

i know, one of these days, my great grandchildren are going to be reading my blog and wonder, "what the heck happened to 'sugar' (what i want my grandchildren to call me;)?"

well, kids, if you're here
and are wondering...
it's called, facebook;
facebook is what happened to ol' sugar!

~@~


true story:

i just clicked over to fb
(perhaps out of habit;)
and my friend, hope, had just updated her status 
by sharing,

"being a good writer is 5% talent and 95% not being distracted by the Internet."

it just happens!

i believe when china catches up with us in social media,
we'll catch up to them in math;P

~@~

so anyway, kids, when i get the photos i will get on with the business of blogging
again...
i hope.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

Monday, October 22, 2012

be still VII...



they allowed the world
to see the miracle
GOD was working through
their little boy,
and they did this selflessly...


~@~

on wednesday evening
i sat in our den organizing
"thumbs up for lane"

photos.

i took a break,
grabbed a diet coke,
and checked my facebook account...

angie wrote,

"Lane is surrounded by lots of family. I am very thankful that he is not in any pain. His BP has dropped and his breathing is very heavy. We don't know if we have a few min or hours left and our hearts are Heavy but my biggest blessing in life is that God choose me to be his and Landen's mommy."

~@~

i prayed,
"THY will be done..."

i hoped,
"come on, GOD...
come on, GOD...
come on, GOD..."

then i remembered lane's prayer.
it was not for GOD to make lane better.
it was to bring childhood cancer awareness
to others that a cure be found.

~@~

then the news no one wanted to read came...

"At 7:53 pm our sweet Lane gained his Angel wings. Our hearts are broken but God has performed a World Wide Miracle through Lane over the past few weeks. Please continue to pray for our family especially Lane's little brother Landen."

when i reached the end of angie's update,
all i could think was

be still
and
know
I
am
GOD

~@~



lane's funeral service will be streamed live
today at 3:30 pm cdt.
click
for the link.

and please keep the goodwins
in your thoughts and prayers:)

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

ps. spread the WORD, and make others aware of the fact that childhood cancer research needs more attention!!!

be still VI...

lane was losing the battle,
but he was winning the war!

~@~

as the world watched and rooted him on...




through the willingness of lane's
parents to share lane and his story,
people became aware of just how big 
childhood cancer really is.

but, even more importantly,
this family gave witness
to GOD's glory! 

they allowed the world
to see the miracle
GOD was working through
their little boy,
and they did this selflessly...

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

ps. spread the WORD, and make others aware of the fact that childhood cancer research needs more attention!!!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

be still V...

the announcement was huge;
it was just for what lane goodwin,
the selfless, 13 year old, 
believer.in.GOD.and.His.Miracles,
had hoped!!!

~@~




angie wrote,

"Some wonderful ladies have been doing some very important groundwork to get everything approved and the Secretary of State Alison Grimes will be hand delivering the signed certificate later this week. When we asked Lane why he thought his story had gone viral and he told us our prayers were being answered "mom this is the awareness we have always prayed for and this will find the CURE". We made a promise to him and through his Foundation we will do everything we can to help find a CURE!! This will be the Permanent Logo for the non-profit Foundation! Our Goal will be to work with researchers that are looking for the CAUSE because this will Find the CURE!! We will also be setting up a volunteer network across the World and assisting families. We will update everyone and give more details as we proceed."

~@~

as lane's cause gained more and more attention,
lane's health diminished.

God and His angels were right there with him
every step of the way...

"Lane has slept very little overnight but has been calm. I just held him as close as I could but I wasn't the only one watching over him. 5 or 6 times over the past month he has mentioned the name Brianna and pointed to the corner by his bed. I asked if she was in the room and he said yes and smiled. He says yes that she is watching over him. This am he also said Savannah was here. A lot of team Lane knows who Savannah is. She was a sweet, beautiful Girl that also fought this Rhabdo monster but gained her Angel wings. They became friends in clinic at Vandy. We are unsure who Brianna is," angie shared.

lane was losing the battle,
but he was winning the war!

~~~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

ps. spread the WORD, and make others aware of the fact that childhood cancer research needs more attention!!!

Saturday, October 20, 2012

be still IV...

on the third day,
God's miracle for lane began...

~@~

"Oh dear Jesus my heart broke when Lane's Dr. came in and Lane smiled a big smile at him and said "you can't fix it any more". He then coughed and I couldn't hear all the words he said except "no cancer and cross over". I have never heard Lane use the words cross over so I know God is walking him through this!!" 
(wrote lane's mother, angie, on september 18, 2012)

~@~

that was exactly what God was doing...
but God wasn't ready for him yet.
lane had a lot to do before he would 
"cross over."

according to lane's mom,
lane was ready to go when God would call him home,
lane was not scared,
and he was not sad about leaving.
lane.had.blessed.assurance.

lane's only real goal in his last days 
was spreading awareness about childhood cancer.
he wanted people to know that 
there were more kids just like him who were battling
the same disease.
he wanted people to know and invest themselves
in something positive...
to push for more research,
to find a cure for childhood cancer
so that no other child would have to endure
what he and countless others
had and still were enduring.

~@~

through prayer and social media,
lane fulfilled his goal.
from september 14, 2012,
when lane was last hospitalized, 
until today,
lane's "prayers for lane goodwin"
facebook page alone
has generated awareness
to nearly 400,000 people globally!!!

tens of thousands of people have showed their support
in lane's "thumbs up for lane goodwin" campaign
from the usa to afghanistan, to haiti, to germany...
from canada to mexico, to honduras, to even countries
in asia and africa.

celebrities have joined as well...
from movie stars to nascar drivers,
to singers, to reality television stars...
from professional football leagues
to professional 
hockey, basketball,
and even baseball leagues...

speaking of baseball,
if you want to know how the cardinals
have comeback from being a wild-card team
in the play-offs...
it could very well be
their very own angel in the outfield.
(that's my opinion, and i'm sticking to it;)

all have taken notice as well as the time to show support
especially and most importantly those he championed...






and those who championed him...


~@~

then...

if that wasn't all amazing in and of itself,
on october 3, 2012,

lane's mother wrote,

"This morning has been a little better. Lane is a lot more lucid & calm :) God is working really hard through Lane, us & others to bring awareness/funding/ cure to Childhood Cancer! We had a wonderful visit with Congressman Ed Whitfield, District Director Michael Pape & Field Representative Edward West. Lane was sleeping but he was excited to get the US Flag that was flown over the Capitol in Honor of him. We will have a big announcement this weekend :)

the announcement was huge;
it was just for what lane goodwin,
the selfless, 13 year old, 
believer.in.GOD.and.His.Miracles,
had hoped!!!


~~~

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

ps. spread the WORD, and make others aware of the fact that childhood cancer research needs more attention!!!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

be still III...

this is where i must tell you,
i do not personally know
lane or his family.

BUT

i.know.God!

and i knew
with all i was
that His Holy Spirit
had this one...

~@~

lane lay in a coma for 3 days;
things seemed bleak...

then lane's mom posted this to his website

"Oh dear Jesus I just heard my sweet boy speak!! He raised up and tried to get out of the bed and told me 3 times he had to go to the bathroom. The nurse checked him for a seizure and he pushed the light she was shinning in his eyes away and covered his arm over his eyes. God please don't let him suffer or wake up & understand what's going on unless you are gonna bless him with a Miracle!!!!!"

~~~

on the third day,
he rose!!!

~@~

on the third day, jordan smith,
a young man from virginia,
established an event,
"thumbs up for lane goodwin".

~~~

on the third day,
support for lane goodwin
started pouring in for him.

on the third day,
childhood cancer awareness 
took a front seat.





on the third day,
God's miracle for lane began...

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

ps. spread the WORD, and make others aware of the fact that childhood cancer research needs more attention!!!

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

be still II...

lane's mom said,

"I loved him
&
told him
that if God tells him it's time to come home then it's ok
&
 if he tells him it's not
then that's ok too."

~~~~~

these were the words


the Holy Spirit

led me to pray
years ago.


~@~

i knew in my heart this little boy's purpose
was
not.yet.fulfilled.

~@~



the following morning
lane's mom said there had been no change,
she humbly asked for prayers,
and she posted this photo
of lane.






i remember placing my thumb
over lane's head.  i pressed it
firmly against the glass screen
of my phone.
i closed my eyes tightly
and boldly prayed,

"come on, God,
show us
your stuff!!!"

~~~~~

my prayer was probably 
quite similar to 
the prayers of 
thousands of others who were also 
watching this story unfold.

you see,
lane's team is

HUGE!!!

i am a very small fish
in his pacific-sized-sea
of prayer warriors.

~~~~~

this is where i must tell you,
i do not personally know
lane or his family.

BUT

i.know.God!

and i knew
with all i was
that His Holy Spirit
had this one...

(to be continued)

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

ps. spread the WORD, and make others aware of the fact that childhood cancer research needs more attention!!!