Monday, January 26, 2009

mosses monday XVII...

(nursing home)

when mrs. moss was diagnosed with alzheimer's, i had never personally known anyone else who had suffered from the disease... when i look back now, knowing what i know and having experienced the disease intimately through her, i KNOW how awful the disease really is. i will even have to admit that at first, when mrs. moss thought we were all in florida for the holidays and that mr. moss had had her favorite tree transplanted there for her, i (being young)romanticized the situation.

however, this romantic situation quickly turned
into one that was anything but...

alzheimer's raised its ugly head!!!

in what seemed like over-night, mrs. moss could no longer be contained: she wanted to be out of her home and walking... all the time, day and night. mr. moss hired a sitter to keep watch over mrs. moss. another of her responsibilities was to be their driver... as mr. moss knew that he was no longer in any condition to drive, and he feared that mrs. moss would get lost or worse.

the sitter drove the moss' cadilac hours upon hours (always at least a block behind mrs. moss keeping watch over her walking... as mrs. moss held onto her independence as long as she could not wanting anyone to walk with her!!!).

winter turned to spring,
and spring quickly turned into summer.
mrs. moss walked!

now, summers in the ohio valley are long, hot, and very humid. even though, the extreme heat and humidity did not deter mrs. moss' desire to be out... and walking. further, she insisted on dressing herself. every day she donned herself in the same wool skirt and heavy sweater... how she kept from having a heat stroke, i will honestly never know!

mrs. moss walked all through the day. then, when the sitter would leave in the late afternoon, mr. moss would lock the two of them in for the night then hide the key. this continued for months. then one night (i'm going to be honest here and say that i don't remember if mrs. moss found the key or if there was a failure to lock the door), mrs. moss got out of the house. mr. moss told me he was watching tv and that she had pretended to go to bed. anyway, she somehow got out of their house without him knowing, and a neighbor, who was on her way home from the grocery store, found her wondering in the dark several blocks from their home on the court.

thankfully, the neighbor saw and picked up mrs. moss;
she then took her home.

soon after that particular incident,
mr. moss decided to hire sitters around the clock.

summer turned into fall... fall to winter...
and then winter to spring.

it was obvious that keeping her at home was not working.
mrs. moss' condition was worsening.

so, on good friday, mr. moss put his sweet lucy in a nursing home...


(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings,
dani xx

ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)


Heidi 'n' Jeff said...

Oh, that is so sad. I can't even imagine how it felt for him to have to do that.

It kind of makes me think of the Notebook.

I stay with an elderly man while his daughter gets out for a few hours. I do it a couple times a week. He will just shuffle about the house, I might need to remind him where the bathroom is. We kind of spin it as he is watching me. I am just coming over to hang out and have some peace and quite away from home.

He's really sweet. He asks me when my parents are coming to get me. :)

Amanda said...

It must be the most difficult decision to make ~ putting a loved one in a care home. Mr Moss did so well keeping Mrs Moss at home for so long but he made the right decision. He would end up getting ill himself with all the stress and constant worry that any harm would come to her.
It was quite strange to read that the name of the care home was redbank ~ i used to help out at a care home called greenbank!

It's so sad reading all about the mental decline of Mrs Moss ~ dementia is such a cruel disease.

Much Love and Hugs,
Amanda xxxx

Cheri and Jesse said...

How awesome of Mr. Moss to hire people to come in the home to help watch over Mrs. Moss so she could be home with him longer. Not that I like any disease, but that one in particular is just such a cruel disease. To watch someone lose their mind so to say is just awful.

SuzanSayz said...

So sad. Life really can throw some cruel punches, can't it?
I just can't imagine how hard this all must have been for Mr Moss.

Bren's Life said...

That disease has always scared me. It robs you of who you are & robs those that love you of you..
I am so sorry you had to go through this, but I'm glad youare sharing your memories..

Tabitha said...

Oh Dani ~ I feared that this was where the story was heading and I am so sad to read this latest installment.
I can't even begin to imagine how hard that must have been on Mr Moss ~ to have to make these decisions. However ~ I do think that he made the right choice ~ infact the only choice that he could make.
Take care ~ love and big hugs Tabitha XXX

PS ~ I keep forgetting to ask, did Kat ever receive my birthday card ~ I think I was a bit late posting it xxx

Anonymous said...

Oh my. So scary and touching and sad and hard and peaceful and so on. So many emotions.

::Jan:: said...

This makes me cry Dani. I have heard of the wanderings of those who suffer from this awful disease, but when you hear it like this after feeling you know someone, it seems so hard. xxoo

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

We are taking a sad turn in this amazing relationship you are sharing. I am literally teary eyed. This illness is so horrible and you described it perfectly.
Incredible post!

linda said...

Oh I'm so sad...poor Mr. Moss. This decision had to rip his heart out. But I know it had to be done.

Molly's Mellow Moments said...

So so sad Dani. You have a wonderful turn of phrase, and out of the sadness, there's always that one little treasure that comes peeping through - humour.
You need to get this published hun.
- Molly x

Lucy said...

How sad it must have been for Mr Moss to see his love fading away from him. I think the one that does the caring goes through so much and still has to put on a brave face to the world. He sounds like what the epitimy of a 'MAN' is all about.
Love and hugs. XXXXOOOO

Little Sweethearts said...

Such a heartbreaking decision, yet the best one he could possibly make given the circumstances.


Cristin said...

So sad, but you are sharing such a lovely story...

Robin said...

Dani, I am FINALLY caught up with Mosses Monday. I know it was probably so hard for Mr Moss to put Mrs. Moss in that home. Bless his heart..and hers as well...