Tuesday, December 11, 2012

are you breathing?

john can be the warm, fuzzy type.
but it doesn't come really naturally to him...
nah, i don't think so.


thursday, december 10, 1992, 10:30 pm:

me: uh, john, i think i'm having contractions.
john: mel gibson's on leno tonight.
me: no, really, you probably need to take me to the hospital.
john: hell dani, you're not going into labor.  
just roll over and go to sleep.
me:  i'm not kidding.
john:  if i take you up there, they'll just send us home.
me: (laughing) i'm getting up and taking myself then.

thursday, december 10, 1992, 10:45 pm:

john: what are you doing.
me : i'm putting on my clothes.
john: dani, you're not in labor.

thursday, december 10, 1992, 10:46 pm: 

me (standing in a pool of amniotic fluid): well, my water just broke.  are you going to take me to the hospital now?
john: shit.

friday, december 11, 1992, 12 am:

john: do they have something to read?
me: the nurse said there were some magazines over in the corner.

john finds a golf magazine,
brings it to my bedside,
places it on my belly,
and proceeds to flip through the pages.

friday, december 11, 1992, 3 am:

me: will you go get the nurse?
i need something for pain.
john: she'll be back soon.
me: please, go get the nurse.
john: are you breathing?
me: what do you mean,
am i breathing?
john: you know, like they told you to do in lamaze...
me: yes, i am breathing,
not like they taught me in lamaze!
lamaze is bullshit!
go get the nurse!!!

john makes his way to the hall,
looks both ways,
returns to my bedside,
and informs me "the nurse"
has told him there's nothing she can give me.

friday, december 11, 1992, 5 am:

me: surely they can give me something for this pain...
john: can you hear that woman down the hall?

sounds of screaming, yelling, and gnashing of teeth come from the hall.

me: yes, will you go ask the nurse if i can have some pain meds yet?
john: i think they are all in with the other woman.
can you focus on something
and breathe?
me (thinking to myself): no, but i can give you something to focus on,
mr. berrong:/

friday, december 11, 1992, 9:24 am:

dr. sprague: big push, one more time!
john: i can see her head!
me: (pushing)
dr. sprague: here she is!
look at all that hair!
john: well, that was a piece of cake:)
me: grrr


happy 20th birthday to our "piece of cake"!!!

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

1 comment:

Sally said...

Oh, Dani! That is hilarious! Love it. John is such a MAN!!

I remember when I was in labor, my dad said either we're going to the hospital or I'm going to bed. LOL

Happy, Happy Birthday to your beautiful Katherine. I know you're thinking "where has the time gone?".