heaven smiles softly...

last year 

when we celebrated 

maggie's 9th birthday 

i never dreamed 

it would be the last one.

she loved every birthday,  

she loved every day,

she loved everything, 

she loved everyone. 

maggie loved, 

and 

maggie was loved!

~@~

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

our sweet baby mae...

"imitation is the sincerest form 

of flattery."

-charles caleb colton

~@~

when maggie was growing up, 

i often said 

i would never be without 

a cavalier in my life.

however, 

as she grew older 

and i started to realize 

how hard it was going to be 

to lose her and not have her 

in my life, 

i often said 

i didn't think i could ever have 

another...

it would just be 

too

hard.

~@~

on friday, the day  

after maggie went to heaven, 

john and i talked 

through our grief.

john: i just don't know 

how people go out 

and get another dog 

after losing one. 

me: i know. 

i think if we got one now 

i would feel guilty...

like i was replacing maggie. 

john: i don't think that. 

i just don't think 

i could go through 

this again.

we agreed.

~@~

then, 

late saturday night 

as i lay in bed, 

the thought occurred to me...

maggie 

would not want us 

to be unhappy 

like this

she spent her whole, 

precious life 

making us happy!

reactively, 

i reached over 

and grabbed my phone 

from my nightstand. 

i laid my phone 

on my chest, 

paused, 

and took in a deep breath.

i held it 

and 

released it.

me: God, give me a sign 

if i'm supposed to do this.

picking up my phone, 

i pressed the home key,  

 touched the safari icon, 

and 

typed, 

"cavalier puppies for sale 

in kentucky."

i touched on the site 

that popped up first.

the interactive site asked 

if i were a buyer or a seller,  

the breed 

in which i was interested, 

and, finally,

 for my location.

~@~

at a glance, 

i noticed there were only 

a couple of pages of 

cavies in our area. 

i also noticed

most of the puppies 

were blenheim 

(tan and white). 

i knew i wanted 

either a mostly black tri-color 

(black, tan, and white)

or 

another black and tan

(with a little white) 

like maggie. 

as i scrolled down the page, 

i saw her,

"blaze"!

my eyes filled with tears.

me: should i do this, God?

i knew there would be 

no turning back!

i noticed her birthdate...

9/2.

maggie was an "11" 

baby too.

i touched her picture 

on my screen to enlarge it 

and 

read more about her.

she had the same marks 

as my darling maggie, 

and 

she was a "cuddler".

 ALL.the.signs.

were.there!

in my heart, 

she was already mine.

God  just reinforced 

what i already knew.

after getting 

meester berrong 

on board, 

i called the breeder,

and

we will pick up

our sweet baby mae~

formally known as 

"Princess Margaret Mae

of the Lane".

-in just eleven days.

love and God's blessings, 

dani xxx

perspective

the way i have maintained what little sanity i have left?

  i put all of what you're about to glean into perspective: 

on the lane, 

we have clean paper plates, plastic flatware, and 

running water (just not in the kitchen), 

 we are neither at war with isis nor ebola (yet), 

and we have a LOT for which to be thankful!

~@~

after having gone through 

nearly 6 months

of a remodel from hell...

(it.had.seriously.

been.a.nightmare.)

-from having to nearly

beg our contractor 

to do what we wanted

him to do...

-to him doing some 

of what we wanted 

him to do

 but only half-assed...

-to him (admittedly so) 

spending 

our replacement-window money

leaving us 

to pay for our windows 

twice

(in lieu of having a lien 

placed on our house),

-to my and my grandmother's

engagement rings, 

my and john's wedding bands,

my silver punch bowl,

and katherine's watch 

all being stolen...

-to my suffering through

7 weeks of 

"the worst case 

of shingles"

anyone had ever seen,

we were

more.than.ready

for

a bright spot!

~@~

a week ago yesterday

our quartz installers arrived

with our kitchen and vanity

counter tops.

i.was.SO.excited... 

 not only to be getting

the beautiful new tops

but, more importantly,

to finally have 

running water

in the kitchen 

after nearly 5 weeks

of not!

although

they were unable to install

the vanity top

because my bathroom 

sink needed

new shutoff valves,

they skipped the bathroom 

and installed the kitchen

counter tops.

installer: well, do you like it?

me: like it? i LOVE it;

it's BEAUTIFUL!

installer: great! 

so, all we have left to do

is drop in your sink.

where is it?

awkward silence...

me: uh, it was supposed

to come with the counter top?

he looked through his paperwork. 

installer: no, only your vanity top 

comes with a sink.

me: hmm, lowes told me 

this one was supposed 

to come with an under-mount?

installer: ma'am, that hole will

not support an under-mount;

it was cut for a drop-in sink.

~@~

later that afternoon,

after a discussion with lowes,

i told them we would be willing 

to settle for a drop-in...

as we were past ready

to have running water

in our kitchen, right!!?!?

that evening

john and i went to lowes

to retrieve our sink

and purchase supplies 

for the plumber.

~@~

bright and early,

last wednesday morning,

mr. butts (our plumber) 

arrived.

he asked me to show him 

all we needed him to do.

i obliged.

after showing him 

the bathroom and 

he reassured me

that was going to be

no problem,

i lead him 

into our kitchen.

upon seeing 

the sink hole,

he told me the sink

was not going to fit.

me: are you sure?

mr. butts: i don't think it will,

but i'll try it.

when he dropped the sink 

into the hole and it looked

like it fit,

i breathed a sigh of relief.

however,

my relief was short-lived;

as the two of us lay

with our heads resting

respectively

on the cabinet base

looking up at the sink.

with his flashlight,

mr. butts directed

me to look at the 

three sides of the sink

which could be secured

to the counter top

and then 

to the fourth...

which could not.

boo.hiss.i.wanted.to.cry

~@~

30 minutes later, 

lowes' manager and staff,

mr. butts, and i stood

staring at the hole

in our new,

beautiful counter top.

the best solution

was to reorder the quartz,

which meant...

3 more weeks without 

kitchen plumbing.

after the lowes' folks

left, i walked into

the bathroom where mr. butts

lay with his head inside 

my vanity.

i sat down on the side

of the bathtub

at mr. butts' feet.

me: mr. butts, meester berrong

may be thinking,

"no news is good news,"

right about now,

but he'd be wrong

(no pun intended)."

i giggled...

~@~

a week later,

i don't know how this install

is going to go

(hopefully well).

however,

what i do know is...

 instead of the new tops

arriving in 2 weeks

(we are already

a week out from 

last week's debacle),

it's going to be at least

3 more

because as of monday

when the quartz company

called about the vanity

top,

the kitchen counter had

not yet been reordered...

ugh!

~@~

in case you were wondering...

we fired our contractor, 

have received no

compensation for our windows. 

filed a police report-

though none of our stolen items 

have been recovered, 

and

are still eating on paper plates

with plastic flatware.

stay tuned...

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx