katherine and chico had a great time at the ball and are really looking forward to chico's senior prom this coming saturday... this is the biggie:)
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it felt like old times around here this weekend:) katherine, hannah, and their peasants (jacob and barret) went out on friday for dinner. then, afterwards, ALL ended up back here on the lane. i loved it!!!
it made my heart smile that they still wanted to hang out here when they had their new-found-freedom (jacob got his driver's license last week) not to have to do so:)
further, hannah came back over to spend a second night after katherine returned from the ball:D
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my little maggiepie is doing very well post-op, YAY!!! we are supposed to go tomorrow so that she can get the staples removed from her incision.
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i have three THREE appliances on the blink... according to john my (relatively new) dryer sounds like it needs a bearing, the washer doesn't seem to be spinning everything as dry as it should be (that could be why the dryer is needing a new bearing, huh???), and the ice maker is not working in our very new refrigerator:/
so, after this post, i am off to call a repairman.
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lastly, but most importantly... thank you ALL for your sweet comments regarding katherine's and chico's ball photos!!! in my opinion, they are precious (inside-out)!!! we feel very blessed:)
ps. i can turn off my "western kentucky" accent, too. i actually subcontract voice-overs for safety and work procedure videos for a canadian based aluminum corporation:D
last week while giving maggie a bath, i found a protrusion near the base of her tail. at first i thought it was part of her anal gland; so, i immediately called the vet. dr. nichols told me to get her in to his office as soon as i possibly could.
about 15 minutes later, maggie was atop the examining table, her face was buried in my side, and dr. nichols was telling her that she was a "big baby"... after a little poking and prodding, dr. nichols informed me that what i had found was not a part of her anal sac (gland); rather, it was a tumor.
i swear my heart missed the next beat!!!
then, he told me that i would need to bring her on tuesday (today) in order for him to excise it.
hence, at 7:30 this morning i took her in for surgery. she did NOT want to stay (BIG BABY). as a matter of fact, she was backing her way toward the lobby door. i've written a little about our co-dependence problem:/ anyway, i scooped her in my arms and handed her over to the assistant.
it was a long day!!!
however, when i went to retrieve my baby, i got great news:) dr. nichols said he was CERTAIN that the mass was nothing more than an enlarged skin cyst...
i think, in my heart, i knew that when i kissed mrs. moss "goodbye" that day, it was for the last time...
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when the phone rings before dawn, it is rarely a good thing; but it rang very early that summer morning all the same...
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i answered.
"dani, this is jean. mr. moss wanted me to call and let you know that mrs. moss passed away during the night, sweetie."
"oh," i felt my heart sinking.
"is mr. moss alright; is there anything i can do?"
"he's alright, dani," she responded.
"he's just waiting for his secretary and lawyer to get here so that the two can take care of all the funeral arrangements."
"jean, will you please tell him that i love him,"
my voice broke.
"oh, and jean, thank you for letting me know."
i held the phone receiver in my lap and just sat there with tears streaming down my face. i knew mrs. moss was in a much better place. but, my heart was breaking all the same. it was a huge step for mr. moss to have to institutionalize mrs. moss; i was afraid this was just going to be too much for him.
~@~@~@~@~@~
after a bit, i placed the receiver back on its cradle, washed my face and brushed my teeth and hair, and dressed. i woke up katherine and got her ready for the day, and we headed down to the moss' court.
when i pulled into the drive i found jean sitting outside the backdoor reading the newspaper. she arose and walked over to greet me at my van. i got out of the van, and we hugged. i told her i was really worried about mr. moss. she assured me he was doing fine but that he was bathing and shaving.
(with moss' parkinson's disease, it usually took him a couple of hours to get ready each morning. given that he had recently broken several of his vertebrae, it was taking him even longer to do so.)
i didn't want to interrupt him.
so, jean and i just stood in the drive and talked. she described the events of the night prior and assured me that mrs. moss hadn't suffered... rather, she'd just died in her sleep.
i was so thankful she hadn't suffered;
she'd already suffered emotionally more than her fair share!
after talking to jean for a bit, i got back into my van and very slowly drove up and around the moss' circular drive. as i did so, i took special notice of the flower gardens... my last conversation with mrs. moss had been about her beloved geraniums, petunias, rhodi's, and azaleas...
as i was circling, a feeling of joy overtook me...
i had a sense she was looking down upon the flowers...
and enjoying them with me!!!
the way she always did before alzheimer's took her away from us...
~@~@~@~@~@~
(to be continued...)
love and God's blessings,
dani xx
ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)
as i sit here this morning sipping a cuppa, i am very aware that THE.SUN.IS.SHINING!!! my maggiepie is snuggled up next to me under the covers, and i hear the sweet sounds of katherine getting ready for school.
i think it's going to be a good day:D
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it's been really hard getting back in the groove this week... it hasn't helped that from the time we arrived home on sunday evening until late, yesterday afternoon the sun never popped from behind the clouds. i am quite certain there is such a beast as seasonal depression:/
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"
we did have a great holiday, though. we spent nearly all of it soaking up the sun, laughing, and eating (yes, a 3 lb gain for moi... but worth every bite;). we only frequented one of these 2 times in 10 days:
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ahhh, THE SUN!!!
i always forget how much i love florida's sunshine... i never forget how much warmer it is there than it is here, but i do forget how much closer to the earth the sun is there than on the lane. being out in it made me want to lasso it and bring it home with me:)
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we picked up a really fun game to play while we were there, too: PARTINI!!! katherine and i were on one team and my brother and chico were on the other. it was waaaaaaaaaaaay more fun watching the two of them play off each other than actually playing.
actually, i sent my brother and chico into walmart to get cranium. so, when they came out with partini, i was a bit concerned (i thought it was a drinking game: it was not). it was rated adult, though, and rightfully so... as there is a little innuendo and some of the music knowledge needed goes back to at least the 70's. however, katherine and chico held their own.
i wish i had a video of my brother trying to get chico to guess "dr. jekyll"!!! (subject: doctors you wouldn't want to have.)
brother: "not mr. hyde" chico: "jergle" brother: "NOT.MR.HYDE!!!" chico: "oh, yeah, dr. jerKle" brother: "NO, it's not 'jerKle', chico!!!
yada... yada... yada...
he never got it; but the two kept kat and me in stitches!!!
~@~@~@~@~@~
(brother)
about the food...
we enjoyed fresh seafood on saturday, the most amazing jamaican cuisine on monday, gourmet chinese on wednesday:
chico swears this is how the chinese do it:? ROTFLMAO!!! is he correct???
seafood again on the harbor on thursday, "the best burgers on the beach" on friday, and gourmet mexican on saturday!!!
fall faded into winter, winter to spring, and spring to summer...
in the summer of 1998, i stopped by the rest home to visit mrs. moss. as usual, she was sitting in the hall in a line... i saw her before she saw me. i could see in her face something was different. her eyes were cloudier than the last time i'd visited, her skin was grayer in color, and she looked lonely.
i wondered if the change in her was due to her missing... him.
~@~@~@~
unfortunately, due to a fall (which had caused several of his vertebrae to be crushed), mr. moss hadn't been able to visit mrs. moss for several weeks prior to my visit. (he had, however, continued to send jean, his driver/caregiver, several times a day to check on her.)
~@~@~@~
i was nearly upon mrs. moss before she noticed me. when she looked up at me, i smiled at her. instead of visiting in the hallway, which we normally did, i wheeled her into her room and over close to her window. then, i opened the blinds to allow in some sunshine.
for a moment, mrs. moss gazed at the field which stretched for miles outside her window. but, she soon returned her eyes to mine. i sat on the foot of her bed and took her soft, white, nearly translucent hands in mine, and i started talking about flowers.
mrs. moss loved flowers.
i told her the geraniums and petunias mr. moss had planted on the court for her (he planted flowers for her every year as a mother's day gift) were absolutely beautiful as were her rhodi's (rhododendrons) and azaleas.
she just sat blankly staring at me.
so, i asked her if she wanted to sing. oddly enough, for nearly two years, mrs. moss hadn't been able to remember her loved ones' names but could remember the words to most church hymns and always enjoyed singing a few with me when i visited.
though i began to sing one of her very favorites, "fairest Lord Jesus", she continued to sit there expressionless... voiceless.
i felt huge tears welling up in my eyes.
it was as the tears began to roll down my face that i had a strange feeling come over me. i cannot describe it, exactly, other than to say that it felt like mrs. moss' spirit was hovering over me. her body was still sitting in her wheel chair, her delicate hands were still in mine, and she was still breathing. however, it was like her spirit and body were no longer one.
i felt as if her spirit was enveloping me.
for a while, i stayed. through my tears, i continued singing. i was certain she was singing right along with me.
then, i released mrs. moss' hands, wheeled her back into the hallway, kissed her cheek, and whispered, "i love you"...
for the very last time.
~@~@~@~
(to be continued...)
love and God's blessings, dani xx
ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)
yesterday, i awoke to news that italy had suffered a devastating earthquake. my heart totally jumped a beat!!! our dear friends, the niemeiers (moonpie in the sky), are there in salsomaggiore with the us pizza team for the world championships.
before they got on the plane last thursday, i received an email as well as a phone text from "the notorious d" stating that they were italy-bound. that's the last communication i've had with them; hence, i've been more than a bit worried...
since the events are being held several hours north of the epicenter of the quake, i want to trust that they are all safe and sound. i have several times checked the team's blog for information; however, i get a message stating that their server is "down". hopefully, this just means that they are experiencing power grid problems!!!
please, send up a prayer for their safe return home as well as for all those who have been effected by this disaster!!!
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yesterday, while sun bathing by the pool here in florida, i phoned home. john said that it was snowing and sleeting:? i told you all we'd been experiencing crazy weather in kentucky this year:/ he said, other than the VERY cold snap, all was good on the home-front:)
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meanwhile, other than sunday, we have had beautiful weather here in florida!!! saturday was a beach day then off for dinner at joe's crab shack; yesterday was a pool day then off for a late lunch to pompano joe's for some amazing jamaican cuisine.
yes, it is as is sounds... a sunning and eating vacation:) "does it get any better than that???" i ask!!! and, yes, we have already had too much sun as well as too much food; but that is how we roll, ha:P
"fickle" is not a word i would normally choose to describe myself. i usually make a decision and stick with it.
"steadfast", that's me!!!
however, last week after his performance on american idol, i wrote about the very talented adam lambert. he had me after his rendition of tracks of my tears, which was A-MAZ-ING.
i was sold on him!!!
until...
kris allen sang "ain't no sunshine" on tuesday night...
sorry, i couldn't find a clip of his live performance.
american idol and itunes must be cracking down on the copyrights:/
anyway, i jumped adam's ship for kris'!!!
currently, however, in my little cove (if you will),
these two "boats" are tied together and anchored.
so, it won't be a big leap for me to jump back and forth week-to-week.
and, with that being said, i just may;)
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like mother... like daughter:)
we are expecting storms here again today and showers tomorrow. so, i told katherine to go ahead and get her things packed for florida last night. (i thought i'd load a little at a time as weather permitted.)
about 10 or 15 minutes later katherine shouts to me from her room, "mom, if i pack my pajamas, i won't have any room for my clothes!!?!?"
i laughed to myself...
(combined, we have literally over 70 pairs.)
"katherine," i shout in return, "you don't have to take but a couple of pairs.
the condo has a washer and dryer!!!"
the next thing i knew, said daughter was standing next to me... suitcase in hand. "ok, i just wanted to show you..." she flung her suitcase up on my bed. " i'm taking this, this, this to go with that... yada, yada, yada... and, i don't have room for my pajamas:/
can you pack my pajamas with yours???"
"yes, dear," i replied grinning sideways. "i will take a whole suitcase filled with just pajamas and toiletries, ok???"
quite satisfied with my answer, katherine placed all her clothes she had taken out to show me back into her suitcase returned to her room.
we two ARE the pajama queens!!!
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the "new facebook" appeared a couple of weeks ago. i wasn't sure if i liked the changes at first; but, after a little tweaking, the new is growing on me. for a little entertainment (i'm easily entertained, really), there are a bazillion little quizzes that the site offers that gives a little more insight into the taker of the quiz's inner being.
the quizzes have always been there, however, the new facebook allows in real time it's users to see the quizzes and results friends are taking. i just think it's fun to compare.
thus, i've taken several over the past few days. though i don't put a lot of stock in the results, some have been interesting, some funny, some not so accurate, and some quite thought provoking.
i've been enlightened...
what mother are you??? i am june cleaver...
(i'm pretty sure it's solely based on my stay-at-home status!!!)
what philosopher are you??? i am søren aabye kierkegaard.
(now, this could be pretty accurate... as he was not only a philosopher but a great theologian.)
after taking this quiz, i think i'd like to read some of his work.
who were you in a past life??? i was gandhi.
(i need to watch the movie; then i'll get back to you on the accuracy of this one:?)
which shakespearean character would you be??? i would be viola.
before taking this quiz, i'd never heard of viola???
hence, before publishing my results, i read about her.
then i read the play, the twelfth night,
(the first shakespearean piece of work i'd read since college) she was a good and decent character
(one never knows with shakespeare at the pen): i clicked, "publish".
further, i learned that my aura is yellow, i am the character, clairee, from steel magnolias(i do endeavor not to gossip quite as much as she;), i'm VERY conservative, and amongst several other epiphanies... that if i were a shoe...
i'd be a chuck taylor:/
(chuck taylor, converse all-stars)
i sported a pair just like those when i played girls' basketball for the jefferson jaguars in 1979-80!!!
well, maybe NOT "just like those"...
mine were actually white with no tierra:/
