(march 20, 2015)
me: hey, stella, it's dani.
how are you?
stella: oh, dani, i'm just terrible!
me: you're not supposed to be terrible!!!
it's your birthday!
what's the matter?
stella: someone just shattered
the window out of my front door.
stella spread her arms
and lowered her face
as if looking at the floor
(stella was blind).
stella: just look at this mess!
me: don't worry,
let me get a broom and dustpan,
and i'll clean it up.
stella: oh, thank you...
~@~
i had obviously awakened
stella from a bad dream.
i paused for a moment
then patted her knee.
me: see, all cleaned up!
stella: oh, thank you!
i didn't know
what i was going to do.
me: it was no problem at all.
"now,
happy birthday!"
i said.
stella smiled.
stella: why, thank you!
~@~
i looked around stella's
rest home room.
there were flowers and cards
everywhere
and a great big birthday cake
sitting on her eating tray.
stella.jean.melton.davis.was.loved.
i.loved.stella.
~@~
stella was 90 years old
on march the twentieth,
two thousand and fifteen,
and i was the one receiving a gift.
i was sitting right there
next to her
feeling blessed to have had her
in my life
for nearly 40 of her years.
i sat there looking
at her,
remembering...
when i was a little girl,
stella treated me
like i was one of hers.
i spent most afternoons,
after school,
with her and her husband,
jack (my best friend)...
playing with jack,
cooking with
and learning from stella.
she played the piano with me
and taught me to crochet.
she took me to
seasonal choir concerts
and
every year
invited me over to see
their Christmas tree
when they had finished
decorating it.
it was the most beautiful
i had ever seen...
red lights,
red, Christmas-plaid bows,
white doves,
and
strands of pearls.
~@~
when i was a teenager,
my friends and i stopped
before prom to show her and jack our dresses,
jack and stella were
at our wedding,
at the hospital the night katherine was born,
at her birthday parties,
and,
when katherine went to her first prom,
things came full circle.
john went to get stella
(jack had died)
to come over and see
(though stella's sight had already begun to fail her)
katherine
dressed in her ball gown.
~@~
a couple of weeks ago
before we were to leave
for the dominican,
i called jeda,
one of my dearest friends,
jack's and stella's oldest daughter,
to check on stella.
.
jeda told me
they had called in hospice,
but the step was to just allow
for stella to receive
a higher standard of care.
she assured me
stella was still "stella".
jeda: mother's been worrying
all morning about getting
katherine elizabeth's graduation card to her!
me: oh, my goodness,
how sweet is that!
jeda: i know...
i asked her
if she wanted to sign
the card
or if she wanted me
to sign it.
she said
she wanted to sign it.
we both giggled;)
~@~
while we were on vacation,
i texted jeda
to check on stella.
me: how's our girl?
jeda: mother is comfortable.
hospice has made such a huge difference
in her care,
but she and her functions
are slowing down.
the fact stella's care had improved...
that she was comfortable,
made my heart sing.
~@~
after receiving the text from jeda,
i smiled.
stella always had made me feel comfortable.
she was always soft and loving,
warm and kind.
i thought about it and realized
i had, perhaps, subconsciously
endeavored over the years
to return those blessings
to her.
when shopping for her,
i always looked and felt
for the softest, warmest, and fuzziest
pajamas,
scarfs,
and blankets
to comfort her
in love and kindness.
i remember taking maggie
when she was a tiny puppy
over at night
to curl up in stella's lap.
maggie loved going to stella's.
stella talked baby-talk to her
and petted her to sleep.
stella would go on-and-on
about how soft and sweet
maggie was.
~@~
on sunday morning,
i received a call from jeda.
when i answered
maggie and mossi began to bark.
i only heard bits and pieces
at first,
but i heard enough to know
our stella was gone.
jeda told me
she, her sister, janie, and janie's boys
were going to spend some time with her
before the funeral director
came to get her.
i sat there stunned.
~@~
honestly,
two days later...
in my heart
i'm still in disbelief.
in my head,
however,
i know...
i know
my soft and loving,
warm and kind
stella
has joined my funny, entertaining jack
and her beloved mother and daddy
in heaven.
i know she's in that place
with her
Heavenly Father
where she can breathe...
where she can see again
and
where she can
enjoy all that is good
forever and ever.
love and God's blessings,
dani xxx
