soft and loving, warm and kind...

(march 20, 2015)

me: hey, stella, it's dani. 

how are you?

stella: oh, dani, i'm just terrible!

me: you're not supposed to be terrible!!!

it's your birthday!

what's the matter?

stella: someone just shattered 

the window out of my front door.

stella spread her arms

and lowered her face

as if looking at the floor

(stella was blind).

stella: just look at this mess!

me: don't worry,

let me get a broom and dustpan,

and i'll clean it up.

stella: oh, thank you...

~@~

i had obviously awakened

stella from a bad dream.

i paused for a moment 

then patted her knee.

me: see, all cleaned up!

stella: oh, thank you!

i didn't know 

what i was going to do.

me: it was no problem at all.

"now,

happy birthday!"

i said.

stella smiled.

stella: why, thank you!

~@~

i looked around stella's 

rest home room.

there were flowers and cards

everywhere

and a great big birthday cake

sitting on her eating tray.

stella.jean.melton.davis.was.loved.

i.loved.stella.

~@~

stella was 90 years old

on march the twentieth,

two thousand and fifteen,

and i was the one receiving a gift.

i was sitting right there 

next to her 

feeling blessed to have had her

in my life 

for nearly 40 of her years.

i sat there looking 

at her,

remembering...

when i was a little girl,

stella treated me 

like i was one of hers.

i spent most afternoons,

after school,

with her and her husband, 

jack (my best friend)...

playing with jack,

cooking with 

and learning from stella.

she played the piano with me 

and taught me to crochet.

she took me to 

seasonal choir concerts 

and 

every year

invited me over to see 

their Christmas tree 

when they had finished

decorating it.

it was the most beautiful

i had ever seen...

red lights,

red, Christmas-plaid bows,

white doves,

and

strands of pearls.

~@~

when i was a teenager, 

my friends and i stopped

before prom to show her and jack our dresses,

jack and stella were 

at our wedding,

at the hospital the night katherine was born,

at her birthday parties, 

and,

when katherine went to her first prom,

things came full circle.

john went to get stella

(jack had died) 

to come over and see

(though stella's sight had already begun to fail her)

 katherine

dressed in her ball gown.

~@~

a couple of weeks ago

before we were to leave 

for the dominican,

i called jeda, 

one of my dearest friends, 

jack's and stella's oldest daughter, 

to check on stella. 

.

jeda told me 

they had called in hospice, 

but the step was to just allow

for stella to receive 

a higher standard of care.

she assured me 

stella was still "stella".

jeda:  mother's been worrying

all morning about getting

katherine elizabeth's graduation card to her!

me:  oh, my goodness, 

how sweet is that!

jeda: i know...

i asked her 

if she wanted to sign 

the card

or if she wanted me 

to sign it.

 she said 

she wanted to sign it.

we both giggled;)

~@~

while we were on vacation,

i texted jeda

to check on stella.

me: how's our girl?

jeda: mother is comfortable.

hospice has made such a huge difference 

in her care,

but she and her functions 

are slowing down.

the fact stella's care had improved...

that she was comfortable,

made my heart sing.

~@~

after receiving the text from jeda,

i smiled.

stella always had made me feel comfortable.

she was always soft and loving,

warm and kind.

i thought about it and realized 

i had, perhaps, subconsciously 

endeavored over the years

to return those blessings

to her.

when shopping for her,

i always looked and felt

for the softest, warmest, and fuzziest

pajamas,

scarfs,

and blankets 

to comfort her 

in love and kindness.

i remember taking maggie 

when she was a tiny puppy

over at night

to curl up in stella's lap.

maggie loved going to stella's.

stella talked baby-talk to her

and petted her to sleep.

stella would go on-and-on

about how soft and sweet

maggie was.

~@~

on sunday morning,

i received a call from jeda.

when i answered 

maggie and mossi began to bark.

i only heard bits and pieces 

at first, 

but i heard enough to know 

our stella was gone.

jeda told me 

she, her sister, janie, and janie's boys

were going to spend some time with her 

before the funeral director 

came to get her.

i sat there stunned.

~@~

honestly, 

two days later...

in my heart

i'm still in disbelief.

in my head, 

however,

i know...

i know 

my soft and loving,

warm and kind 

stella 

has joined my funny, entertaining jack

and her beloved mother and daddy 

in heaven.

i know she's in that place 

with her

Heavenly Father

where she can breathe...

where she can see again

and 

where she can

enjoy all that is good 

forever and ever.

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx