Saturday, April 6, 2013

i think he knew the way...


the first week of april always brings
about 
in me
a flood of memories
of 
a
most precious time in my life.
for
it was time spent with gary
in the days leading up to his
journey
home.

~@~

on several occasions
(first here and again here)
i've shared
the story of his death...

it.was.beautiful.

it was raw,
but,
yes...
oh.yes.
beauty full.

~@~

God's presence
was as dense and expansive
as the fog that hovered over
lake misty
on those last, cool,
april mornings
of gary's
life.

gary lived most of his life
admittedly 
without God in it.
but once he allowed
God in...

GOD
NEVER
FORSOOK
HIM!

GOD
also took 
great care of those of us
surrounding gary.
HE made sure to include
us in the details 
of HIS plan for gary.
HE
knew
we were watching
and
HE
didn't want us to miss a thing.
HE
knew
we would witness
to what we saw.
HE
knew
HIS HOLY SPIRIT
would not let us forget
a single,
important
detail
of gary's story.

i've written
(in the aforementioned places)
about the most important
details.
but there are others i have
of the time leading up to gary's
departure.

like...

when gary told me i needed
to see
remember the titans
and
gladiator.
he also told me
to listen to
the song,
time marches on...
that it's true,
it does, indeed, march on.

like...

when we were on our way
to buy new sheets and a comforter
for gary's hospital bed,
linda asked me what
i thought 
GOD
 was going to do.
and i answered
i didn't know
but it was going to be something
BIG
and i'd known 
that much
from the very moment 
of gary's diagnosis.

like...

when i left the house
that morning to go run errands
for linda...
while gary lay dying,
this song was on the radio...
(you should listen to the very end)




on a station to which
i didn't recall setting
my tuner.

like...

when i was reading the end of gary's book
to him,
there was a character named "violet"
and that our yard was literally 
full of violets 
when we returned home 
to prepare for his funeral.
and that in those few pages i read to him
before he
 left us
there were the two words,
rouge
and
arroyo,
in the text...
(the only words missing 
from the last crossword puzzle 
gary would finish
the night prior).
and how i paused and smiled
when i came to them in my reading.

like...

when john's sister-in-law
said
everyone was there 
when she saw gary's 
youngest sister's family
pull into his driveway...
and gary heard and believed
it was, finally, okay to
go.

like...

when gary's puppy, max,
went crazy as the backdoor opened
releasing gary's spirit
from the house.

like...

when gary's brother
headed back up to the house
(not knowing gary was gone)
saying he felt what he believed to be
gary's spirit brush by his face.

~@~

i remember all those things
and more...

love and GOD's blessings,
dani xxx

3 comments:

Sally Crowe said...

So beautifully written, Dani. You have a wonderful gift for writing your memories and being a good friend to so many people. Love you lots.

dani said...

thank you, miss sally:) l,dxxx

Unknown said...

Dani your memories bring me back to the early days of Garys struggle. We would get out and run the streets junking and then usually end up having lunch with Bob Cook and Wayne at a meat and three place Bob loved. I always told Gary on the days that he was frustrated that he would probably out live all of us. But, when the pain started taking over his fight was growing weaker, so we just sat at the cove. I am so happy that Gary did find God and although it was a sad day on the cove it was a beautiful day for family and friends to come together to say our final words of love. I remember yours words as if it was yesterday. Thank you so much for sharing again. Much love!