the human spirit...

when i shared my last post 

(about adding mae to our family)

to facebook, 

a dear friend responded, 

"We can't help ourselves,

Lol, it's the amazing human spirit : ) 

If we harden our heart to love, 

who will take care of little "maemae" 

💕Happiness

~Marlene Brown

~@~

do you know 
what the proverbial 
"human spirit"
is?

biblically, 
it is the breath of life 
God breathed 
into man 
at the time of creation, 
which gave us all 
God-like qualities 
such as: 
intelligence,
creativity,
the ability to emote,
and 
passion.

after the loss 
of my life-long neighbor, 
stella 
and 
her house going on the market,  
katherine's breakup 
with zack, 
the loss of our dear maggie, 
and 
remodel blunder 
after remodel blunder, 
i found myself- 
depleted
at God's feet 
asking Him 
to fill me back up, 
to revitalize me...
and 
for His Holy Spirit 
to help me 
make the right decisions, 
to help me 
know the right words,  
and 
to help me 
mend my broken heart. 

~@~

He wasted no time 
in answering my prayers. 
He reminded me 
john had retired 
and is with me, 
He gave me 
words of grace 
to share 
with katherine and zack, 
and 
He led me directly 
to mae.

this is how i know 
the apostle john was speaking 
words of truth 
when he said, 
"this is how we know
that we live in Him
and 
He in us:
He has given us 
of His Spirit."
(1 john 4:13)

where there is 
the blessed gift 
of 
the Holy Spirit, 
there is no place
for a hardened heart.
we need this soft, 
warm, loving, 
Spirit-filled heart 
to keep us passionate, 
to keep us calm, 
and 
to keep us rolling on...

i know this is truth! 

if you don't believe me, 
ask, seek, knock, 
and  
just see what happens next;) 

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

she can't reach...

after giving katherine a bath

and washing her hair,

she insisted on wearing her

"boy clothes"

(cutoffs and a tee shirt).

i had just started combing

her hair

when my aunt knocked

on the door.

sue came in with a halloween

gift for katherine,

a darling, halloween sweatshirt.

katherine couldn't wait 

for me to take off the tags

and put it on her.

she was giddy!

after putting the sweatshirt

on her,

i finished combing her hair,

parted it,

pulled the top part 

over to the side,

and put a band in it.

like clockwork,  

katherine immediately

ran her hand up to where

i'd banded her hair.

katherine: mama, i need a bow,

one that matches!

i looked at sue

and just shook my head...

me: well, let me go get 

you one!

sue laughed.

katherine always wore

a bow...

boy clothes or girl clothes

and it had to match!

i returned and

clipped her bow through

the holder and katherine

twirled around

modeling for us.

abruptly, though,

she stopped twirling

and looked over at me

wide-eyed,

arching her eyebrows.

katherine: i'm going to go 

get mabel to show aunt sue.

we had just brought

our sweet, stripey 

"mabel kitty" home

to live with us. 

katherine was chomping

at the bit to show her 

off!

~@~

katherine was gone

for a few minutes. 

me: katherine, what are you doing?

katherine: i'm coming...

me: what's taking you so long?

katherine: i had to do something first!

in an instant,

there stood katherine

with mabel in tow.

sue: awwwweee, she's so cute,

katherine.

katherine grinned,

a big, proud, cheese-eating

grin.

i noticed the fur on mabel's

head was wet.

me: katherine, why is mabel's

hair wet?

katherine handed mabel to sue,

came over to me,

 cupped her hand

around my ear,

leaned into me,

and whispered in my ear...

katherine: i washed her hair.

me: 

(thinking for a second, 

i knew katherine couldn't

reach any of the 

water faucets in the house.)

with what?

katherine: ummm...

me: with what, katherine?

she leaned back into me

and whispered.

katherine: with my tongue...

i pulled my head away

and looked at katherine

like, WHAAAT???

katherine: she can't reach.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

jack...

many of my long-time readers  know i grew up in my little,  white cottage here on the lane.  what you may not know is  my next-door neighbor, jack,  was my best friend...

in the summers...

i talked to him while he planted his garden.

he taught me how to shoot his bb-gun.

we watched sanford and son 
on the tv he had hooked up 
in his garage.

and, we talked politics
over mason ball jars filled 
with stella's iced, sweet tea.

in the winters...

i talked to him
 while he shaped his frasier fir 
and hooked up the outdoor lights (always red).

we watched the edge of night together 
every afternoon after school.

and, we talked politics

over potter cups filled 
with stella's delicious hot chocolate.

~@~

one can only imagine 
how brokenhearted i was 
when at 14 my parents divorced 
and sold our house on the lane.

i was brokenhearted to have to move

but even more so 
to have to leave my best buddy.

~@~

little did i know, though...

it would only prove 
to be a temporary separation...

for,
 a month before i turned 22,

john presented me my childhood home
 as a 1st anniversary gift!

he purchased my cottage on the lane
for us to fill with our family.

~@~

i was thrilled...

to be living, once again, 
in my sweet house,

to be sharing it 
with the one i loved 
with all my heart and soul,

to be living next-door 
to my jack and stella again, and

to be sharing john with them 
and them with john,

one can only imagine 
how over the moon 
i would be 
to share our baby, katherine,
with jack and stella

the following year at Christmas!

~@~

jack taught baby katherine
 to "spit tobacco".
he would spit, 
and she would mockingly 
proceed to do the same
(no tobacco, of course)... 

katherine's first word was "dack" (jack).
baby katherine would stand 
at the back french doors
and would squeal 
as she watched jack pull 
into his driveway after work, 

"dack, dack!"

~@~

in the summers, 
with baby katherine 
first in my arms 
then later
at my side, 

we played with jack's kittens.

we watched katherine grow.

and, we talked politics.

in the winters...

jack shoveled snow off our deck

(to repay john for mulching his leaves in the fall).

we talked to jack while he trimmed the tree...

then later as he unboxed his new artificial one.

we watched the young and the restless.

and, we talked politics.

~@~

then,
 in the late fall of 2004, 
jack became ill.

he told me the doctors were running tests.

in mid december jack had surgery.

right before Christmas that year,
he returned home.

~@~

i was very busy preparing for Christmas...

shopping, baking, decorating, wrapping gifts, and cleaning...

so busy i hadn't taken the time 
to go visit jack for a few weeks.

a blessing happened, 
it began to snow.

it snowed...

and snowed...

and snowed...

(for 30 hours it snowed.)

until we were completely snowed in 
on the lane.

the normal festivities of Christmas 
were just not going to happen.

all the tri-state roads, highways, 
airports, etc...

were closed!

no one would be coming, 
and no one would be going.

~@~

i didn't have to be busy anymore:)

~@~

so, i donned my jeans, turtleneck, 
sporto boots, and coat.

i slicked my hair back into a pony-tail,

waded through the thigh-high snow, 
which separated our houses,

and made my way over 
to check on my buddy.

to my delight,
i was greeted at the door 
by jack's and stella's daughter, jeda;

she was snowed in as well.

YAY!

i LOVE jeda!

(she was my choir teacher 
all through elementary and middle school.

then, when i became an adult, 
she grew to be my dear friend.)

that night while katherine and john sat  in our den watching a Christmas story together,
i sat with jack, stella, and jeda  reminiscing about old times,  laughing,  and enjoying all the Christmas confections  jeda had brought her mother and daddy. 
~the blessing~
it wasn't until after jack had fallen asleep  and stella had nodded off as well  that i realized just how great the blessing.
jeda confided in me that jack had cancer...

~@~

to this day,  i believe with all my heart  that that evening i enjoyed  with three of my dearest, life-long friends  was nothing short of a gift from God.

~@~

jack died the following summer.

~@~

i miss summers
and
winters of old on the lane.
i miss jack....


love and God's blessings,
dani xxx