our sweet baby mae...

"imitation is the sincerest form 

of flattery."

-charles caleb colton

~@~

when maggie was growing up, 

i often said 

i would never be without 

a cavalier in my life.

however, 

as she grew older 

and i started to realize 

how hard it was going to be 

to lose her and not have her 

in my life, 

i often said 

i didn't think i could ever have 

another...

it would just be 

too

hard.

~@~

on friday, the day  

after maggie went to heaven, 

john and i talked 

through our grief.

john: i just don't know 

how people go out 

and get another dog 

after losing one. 

me: i know. 

i think if we got one now 

i would feel guilty...

like i was replacing maggie. 

john: i don't think that. 

i just don't think 

i could go through 

this again.

we agreed.

~@~

then, 

late saturday night 

as i lay in bed, 

the thought occurred to me...

maggie 

would not want us 

to be unhappy 

like this

she spent her whole, 

precious life 

making us happy!

reactively, 

i reached over 

and grabbed my phone 

from my nightstand. 

i laid my phone 

on my chest, 

paused, 

and took in a deep breath.

i held it 

and 

released it.

me: God, give me a sign 

if i'm supposed to do this.

picking up my phone, 

i pressed the home key,  

 touched the safari icon, 

and 

typed, 

"cavalier puppies for sale 

in kentucky."

i touched on the site 

that popped up first.

the interactive site asked 

if i were a buyer or a seller,  

the breed 

in which i was interested, 

and, finally,

 for my location.

~@~

at a glance, 

i noticed there were only 

a couple of pages of 

cavies in our area. 

i also noticed

most of the puppies 

were blenheim 

(tan and white). 

i knew i wanted 

either a mostly black tri-color 

(black, tan, and white)

or 

another black and tan

(with a little white) 

like maggie. 

as i scrolled down the page, 

i saw her,

"blaze"!

my eyes filled with tears.

me: should i do this, God?

i knew there would be 

no turning back!

i noticed her birthdate...

9/2.

maggie was an "11" 

baby too.

i touched her picture 

on my screen to enlarge it 

and 

read more about her.

she had the same marks 

as my darling maggie, 

and 

she was a "cuddler".

 ALL.the.signs.

were.there!

in my heart, 

she was already mine.

God  just reinforced 

what i already knew.

after getting 

meester berrong 

on board, 

i called the breeder,

and

we will pick up

our sweet baby mae~

formally known as 

"Princess Margaret Mae

of the Lane".

-in just eleven days.

love and God's blessings, 

dani xxx