Wednesday, October 21, 2015

our sweet baby mae...


"imitation is the sincerest form 
of flattery."
-charles caleb colton

~@~

when maggie was growing up, 
i often said 
i would never be without 
a cavalier in my life.
however, 
as she grew older 
and i started to realize 
how hard it was going to be 
to lose her and not have her 
in my life, 
i often said 
i didn't think i could ever have 
another...
it would just be 
too
hard.

~@~

on friday, the day  
after maggie went to heaven, 
john and i talked 
through our grief.

john: i just don't know 
how people go out 
and get another dog 
after losing one. 
me: i know. 
i think if we got one now 
i would feel guilty...
like i was replacing maggie. 
john: i don't think that. 
i just don't think 
i could go through 
this again.

we agreed.

~@~

then, 
late saturday night 
as i lay in bed, 
the thought occurred to me...

maggie 
would not want us 
to be unhappy 
like this
she spent her whole, 
precious life 
making us happy!

reactively, 
i reached over 
and grabbed my phone 
from my nightstand. 
i laid my phone 
on my chest, 
paused, 
and took in a deep breath.
i held it 
and 
released it.

me: God, give me a sign 
if i'm supposed to do this.

picking up my phone, 
i pressed the home key,  
 touched the safari icon, 
and 
typed, 
"cavalier puppies for sale 
in kentucky."
i touched on the site 
that popped up first.
the interactive site asked 
if i were a buyer or a seller,  
the breed 
in which i was interested, 
and, finally,
 for my location.

~@~

at a glance, 
i noticed there were only 
a couple of pages of 
cavies in our area. 
i also noticed
most of the puppies 
were blenheim 
(tan and white). 
i knew i wanted 
either a mostly black tri-color 
(black, tan, and white)
or 
another black and tan
(with a little white) 
like maggie. 

as i scrolled down the page, 
i saw her,
"blaze"!
my eyes filled with tears.

me: should i do this, God?

i knew there would be 
no turning back!

i noticed her birthdate...
9/2.
maggie was an "11" 
baby too.

i touched her picture 
on my screen to enlarge it 
and 
read more about her.

she had the same marks 
as my darling maggie, 
and 
she was a "cuddler".

 ALL.the.signs.
were.there!

in my heart, 
she was already mine.
God  just reinforced 
what i already knew.

after getting 
meester berrong 
on board, 
i called the breeder,
and
we will pick up

our sweet baby mae~
formally known as 
"Princess Margaret Mae
of the Lane".

-in just eleven days.

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

2 comments:

Lucy said...

Your treasured Maggie was with you all along and whispered, "God please help Mummy make a decision." Dani I fully understand the guilt that you may be replacing your sweet Maggie but she was one of a kind. Very happy for you and John to add your gorgeous Mae to your loving family. Amazing how much she looks like sweet Maggie. 🐾🐾🐾🐾

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