Saturday, October 10, 2015

fix it, mama...

a couple of weeks ago yesterday, 
i noticed maggie breathing rapidly. 
concerned, i went online to see 
what could be causing it. 
the first article i found 
simply stated that 
rapid breathing was not uncommon 
in aging cavalier king charles spaniels 
due to the design of their 
snout and pallet. 
i went about doing 
whatever it was 
i was doing.

over the weekend 
the oddity of her respiration 
became more and more apparent.
i asked john if he had noticed it. 
he said he had 
and wondered aloud 
what could be causing it.
i told him what i had read. 
he, like i, 
was relieved... 
it was normal.


what happened 
the following monday morning 
was not normal.

john: dani, what time does the vet open?
me: 7 or 8, why?
john:  we need to get maggie 
in to see dr. nichols!
she's breathing really hard and fast, 
her nose is warm, 
she won't eat her breakfast.

i think my heart stopped beating 
as it made a b-line to my throat.

she won't eat her breakfast??!?!
maggie has NEVER 
turned down food...


as quickly 
as i could unhook my phone 
and put on my glasses, 
i called dr. nichols' office.
kim, his assistant, answered.
she told me he could see her 
at 11:15.
by the time our conversation ended
i had made my way 
from our bedroom to the den. 
there, i found maggie 
lying on the couch- limp.

the tears came.

i hurried over to her.

me: what's wrong, baby?
do you feel bad?

without moving a muscle, 
she cut her eyes up
and looked directly 
into my eyes.

fix it, mama.


i lay down next to her 
on the couch. 
i kissed her cheek, 
i petted her, 
i told her everything 
was going to be okay, 
i promised her 
no matter how hard it would be 
to let her go, 
i would not let her suffer. 

her eyes were still fixed 
on mine.

fix it, mama.


dr. nichols: mrs. berrong, 
put her up here 
on the table, and let me 
take a look at her. 

i was sitting in the chair 
holding her. 
i stood and sat her on the examining table 
just as he had asked.

dr. nichols: so, what's been 
going on with her?

i told him how her condition 
had progressed over the weekend. 
i told him i had counted 
and her respiration rate 
was about forty breaths per minute.

dr. nichols: i saw that 
on kim's report. 
she is definitely breathing 
too fast.

he began his examination.
first he felt her 
for node enlargement. 
then he listened to her heart 
and body sounds.

me: is it her heart?  
is she going into heart failure? 
(heart issues are also common 
with the ckcs breed.)
dr. nichols: her heart sounds fine...
great in fact.


dr. nichols turned to grab 
his thermometer. 

john: her nose was 
really warm earlier, 
and she was coughing. 

dr. nichols inserted 
the thermometer, 
waited for the beep, 
then removed it, 
and looked at the flashing 

dr. nichols: no real temp...
101.5 is average-normal. 
hers is 101.9.
me: so, she's okay?
dr. nichols: well, she's not 
exactly "okay".  something 
is causing these 
respiratory issues.  
would you mind if i keep her 
and run some x-rays 
to see what's going on inside her?
me: for how long?

in 10 years, 
the only time i'd left maggie
anywhere was with dr. nichols 
when she was six months old...
to have her spayed.

dr. nichols: could you leave her 
for a couple of hours?
me(not overnight:) absolutely!
dr. nichols: perfect.
hopefully a chest x-ray 
will give us some answers.


i leaned over 
and kissed maggie's nose.

me: i won't be gone long;)

she cocked her head back 
and returned the favor...
a big, wet, maggie kiss,
which began 
at the tip of my nose,
traveled up between 
my eyebrows 
and ended on my forehead.

i smiled and pulled away from her.

she looked 
right into my eyes.

fix it, mama.

i looked right back into hers.

i'm going to fix it, baby!

(to be continued...)

love and God's blessings, 
dani xxx

1 comment:

Sally said...

Oh, Dani! I pray she's going to be okay.
Please let us know. xoxo