a klassy lady, a friend...

as owner and operator of klassy kids,

a local, high-end, children's, clothing store,

diana whitmore was not only a blessing

to her family

and

to our community,

she was a personal blessing to me...

to my katherine.

~@~

she became my touchstone

months before katherine was even born.

from the moment i told diana

i was having a little girl

until the moment katherine "outgrew"

klassy kids,

diana was our personal buyer.

more importantly,

however,

she was our dear friend.

miss diana knew what i was going to love 

even before i did.

she knew if it wasn't soft...

extremely soft,

not to even bother.

she knew 

if it wasn't beautiful

or adorable, or precious

i wouldn't buy it.

first,

miss diana introduced me to

sophie dess and house of hatten,

both companies produced

sweet, little, hand-smocked 

dresses and gowns

with a lot of attention paid to detail.

house of hatten

also designed

hand-sewn applique, nursery

bedding and decor.

they were both favorites,

however,

katherine was a sophie dess girl...

so much so

miss diana asked katherine

to model sophie

each spring and  fall

for klassy kids.

each pre-season

when diana returned from market,

she was always so excited to tell

me about the things she'd ordered

with katherine in mind.

she was never so as excited 

as i was though.

for ten years

from sophie dess to sarah louise

to sweet potatoes 

to hartstrings...

when her shipments arrived,

diana called,

and i giddily hurried down to her

darling little shop on elm street.

in all those years

i can count on only one hand

the number of articles she chose

in which i was uninterested.

diana worked tirelessly

to do this 

(i'm sure)

for most of her customers.

she was the best

at what she did...

she was the best

at who she was!

~@~

in 1997

diana knew katherine and i

had had a particularly hard year.

our mamaw had died in august of that summer,

and katherine and i were so sad.

on the first day of december,

diana showed up at the coffee shop

with a smile, a hug,

and a gift for katherine.

katherine opened it to find a hair-bow

with her name sewn on it.

it was darling!

we thanked her

not knowing

it was only the first

of twelve days of miss diana's giving.

for, 

the next day

she came in with another gift

and so on

and so on

and so on...

on the tenth day

miss diana brought katherine

a pair of bobby-socks

with a maroon bows,

on the eleventh day...

another darling hair-bow,

a maroon and white one

with "hchs" painted on it,

and on the twelfth day

diana brought katherine 

a little-girl-sized

cheerleader uniform

that matched the high-school

cheerleaders'...

diana whitmore

was endlessly thoughtful.

that was who diana whitmore was.

i say was because

miss diana died on sunday morning.

please keep her family

and our community

in your thoughts and prayers.

she will be dearly missed.

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

if the fates allow (a re-post)...

through the years,

we all will be together
if the fates allow...

Robert Callaway Soaper, III

(June 6, 1932 - December 6, 2013)

~@~

"someone's texting you, mom,"

katherine said to me

as i made my way 

through the kitchen

last night.

i picked up my phone to see

dawn had sent me a couple of messages.

after reading the first one,
i felt my heart start to break.

"bob soaper passed away."

~@~

i'd known bob's wife and son
most all of my life.
his wife, barbara, 
was my mom's beloved first-grade teacher,
and his son, bob-o, was my age.
he was a good friend;
he and i graduated together.

however,
it wasn't until
the spring of 1995
when i went to work
for the planter's coffee house
that i got to know bob.
instantly, i recognized
bob had a special way about him.
there was a twinkle in his eyes
and on his face...
a unique smile,
which begged to be reciprocated.

for nearly five years,
bob was not only the bright spot
of my mornings,
he was the bright spot of katherine's too.
most mornings,
katherine went out to greet her buddy
with a big ol' bear hug...
and
sometimes with a confection
she'd made just for him.
most mornings,
bob made his way from the coffee bar
back to the kitchen
to inquire about my daily special...
most mornings,
i offered him a taste.
most mornings,
he offered me advice
concerning my rue...
my pie crust.

i ALWAYS looked forward
to seeing bob
(clad in a crisp, white, button-down oxford
and khakis)
whether in the kitchen
or
perched at the bar,
drinking his coffee,
reading the newspaper...
and
sharing a story.

~@~

bob was family
to katherine and me...
so much so
we gave him and his family an open-invitation
to join us for our family's thanksgiving dinners
as most of their family lived out of town.
he even came and joined us for breakfast
at my grandmommie's apartment.

BOB.WAS.SPECIAL.

(i always giggled a little
when i thought of him...
bob was a 
grumpy-old-man-wannabee
but
was really just an old softy.)

~@~

here we are as in olden days
happy golden days of yore...

 i hadn't seen bob
(for far too long)
when katherine and i ran into him
last Christmas at hunan's, a local, chinese restaurant.
bob came over to our table.
we were thrilled to see him!
katherine and i both jumped up
and gave him great big hugs.

what.an.unexpected.gift!

faithful friends who are dear to us
they gather near to us once more.

bob: come over here, dani.
 i need to tell you something.
me: (smiling) okay.

bob looked at katherine.

bob: (grinning) you stay here. 
this is between your mom and me.
katherine: (wondering) uh, okay...

(when she started working
at the library nearly four years ago,
katherine hadn't seen bob
in several years.
given bob was a regular at the library,
they picked up where they'd left off
and became big buddies once again.)

bob: dani, it's so good to see you.
me: you too, bob!
bob: (his eyes filled with tears) you have
a very special girl over there.
me: (my eyes filling with tears) thank you.
bob: no, i mean REALLY special, 
and you need to know it.
every time i go into the library,
if katherine is there,
she brightens my day.
that kid has it all, dani.
she has personality,
she's smart,
she's a hard worker,
she's beautiful,
and
that smile...
that smile just gets me
every time.
(a tear rolled down his cheek.)

me: (i winked at him) thank you, bob, 
we think she's a keeper.

bob: yes, she is! you just don't know...

have yourself a merry little Christmas

we hugged again and wished one another
a merry Christmas.

me: i love you, bob.

~@~

but 'til then we'll have
to muddle through somehow.

that was the last time i saw bob.
earlier this year,
katherine came home and told me
bob was very ill and in the hospital.

katherine: can we send him some
flowers or something?
me: i will order flowers tomorrow.

several days later,
we received a sweet thank-you
from
mrs. soaper
saying bob had received the flowers...
they were waiting for him
at home when he returned
from the hospital.

~@~

hang a shining star upon the highest bough

today katherine and i are missing bob...
a.lot.
even though we haven't seen him,
he has been a part 
of our daily thoughts and prayers,
and we have been blessed with the hope
we would see him again.

bob's death dashed the hope
of seeing him again here,
on this earth.

however, there is a silver lining...
a.platinum.lining.actually.
we know
we can still look forward to seeing bob
again 
in heaven.

(we know he is there...
smoking a cuban,
drinking a cuppa joe,
jawing with st. peter.)

until then,
we will remember our loved one 
often.

 today.
i think i will go find a beautiful star
for katherine to place
atop her Christmas tree
(upon the highest bough)
in remembrance of our dear, dear friend,
bob soaper.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

because i want you to know...

dear meester berrong,

this week has been a a very sad one here on the lane: your best friend lost his wife, and one of my dearest friends died leaving his wife behind... i pray nothing will happen to either one of us anytime soon but know we have no control over "if" or "when" in regards to our fates.  i am writing you this letter because i want you to know...  i love you.

but, there.is.more.

i was in love with you long before i met you. i was in love with the idea of you...  i prayed for a husband who would be my best friend, a husband i could love with all my heart, a husband who would love me with all his heart, a husband who would make me laugh, a husband who would comfort me when i was sad, and maybe most importantly a husband who would be a great dad... 

and, God.gave.me.you.

from the moment i first looked into your dark, brown eyes, i knew it was you.  from that moment on, i have only loved you. there have certainly been times i did not like you... and times you did not like me, however, there was never a time i took for granted your morning, good-bye kiss, nor the excitement i experienced every time i heard the sound of your truck pulling into the driveway after a long day at work or a weekend away.

never, not.one.time.

dear, you are my hero always.  you have always worked hard to provide for our family. you have always been faithful in spite of my insecurities. you have always been my cheerleader. you have always been my shoulder upon which to cry.

always, you.have.been.my.constant.

i am sharing this letter because i want anyone wondering to know you are a blessing, an answer to a prayer, my best friend, my love, my comedian, my solace, and our daughter's sweet-sweet dad.

really, you.are.ALL.that.to.me.

i'm writing you this letter because if i go first i want you to know...  if there is such a thing as loving a person too much, that is how much i love and have loved you. i do not want you to ever question that. and, i also want to reassure you, i will be waiting for you at the pearly gates to welcome you back home to me and...

He,who.allowed.us.to.be.

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx 

i never thought...

as i stood at the counter

in our kitchen

pouring formula into a bottle

for katherine,

everything went black.

i never thought

i would see katherine grow up

much less

turn 21.

that was the first

of several strokes i experienced

over the years

following katherine's birth.

local doctors ran tests

blood work

cat scans

mri's

spinal taps.

they found nothing.

as katherine was growing,

i was diminishing.

~@~

when katherine turned two,

i took her in to dr. crick

for her 2-year-checkup.

after he gave her a thorough exam,

he looked at me.

dr. crick: and, how are you doing, dani.

me: (with tears forming in my eyes) dr. crick,

i have a number for vanderbilt clinic in my pocket.

if i give it to you, will you call

and get me an appointment with someone

who can help me?

dr. crick: (looking at me sympathetically) oh, honey,

what's wrong?

as i reached into into the pocket

of my skirt to pull out the post-it

 on which i'd written

vandy's number,

i began to explain.

dr. crick took the piece of paper from me

and assured me he would do what he could.

i could tell by the look on his face

he was very concerned.

he knew me.

he had known me for a long time.

he knew something was very wrong.

i knew something was very wrong,

and i was scared...

~@~

we had barely gotten in the door

at home when

my phone rang.

i put down katherine,

threw her diaper bag

over the back of the couch,

and

hurried to answer the phone.

me: hello?

dr. crick: hi, honey, it's dr. crick.

i called vanderbilt for you.

dr. howard kirshner will see you.

you only need to call his office

and schedule an appointment.

they are expecting your call.

dr. crick gave me the phone number,

and i jotted it down on the palm of my hand.

me: oh.my.goodness. thank you so much,

dr. crick. you are an angel!

~@~

when we arrived at the vanderbilt clinic,

i wasn't sure where we were supposed to go.

so, i stopped and looked

at an informational board

which had an alphabetized list

along with their suite numbers

of all the doctors at the clinic.

k's...

 kirshner,

howard...

"dean of the department of neurology"

dr. crick was an angel!

he hadn't gotten me in to see a doctor;

he had gotten me in to see 

THE.DOCTOR.

~@~

right away, i surmised dr. kirshner

was the real deal...

he asked questions

none of the other doctors asked.

within minutes,

he looked at me and grinned.

i am going to order several tests

to confirm it,

but

i think i know what the problem is.

i returned a grin,

but i was nervous.

he did say i had a problem.

furthermore,

dr. kirshner explained that there were

only 6 documented cases

in the united states

of the autoimmune disease

he thought i had...

and,

he was almost certain

i would test to be the seventh.

i became more nervous,

and my grin faded...

dr. kirshner: however, if it's what 

my initial diagnosis is,

we can control it

with medicine.

the release i felt

after hearing his last four words

was immeasurable!

~@~

dr. kirshner ran 

a series of blood tests

most of which i had never heard,

and he sent me for a scan.

john and i waited right there in x-ray

for my results

then took them back to his office

for a second consultation

before leaving for home.

dr. kirshner slid the panels into place.

he looked at them

then back at me...

then back at them.

then,

with his index finger

he drew an imaginary circle

on the image 

around a portion of my brain.

dr. kirshner: this is stroking, dani,

just as i expected.

~@~

strokes in my early twenties...

strokes!!?!?

~@~

several days later

when my blood test results

came in,

dr. kirshner called me.

dr. kirshner:  dani, this is howard kirshner

calling from the vanderbilt clinic.

the results

of your blood work

indicate i was correct

concerning my initial diagnosis.

he explained i had a blood clotting disease,

told me he was going

to start drug therapy

with coumadin (blood thinner).

he then proceeded to explain

ALL

the dangers of taking blood thinners.

i thought to myself...

stroking isn't going to kill me;

i'm going to surely bleed to death.

~@~

i never thought

i would see katherine grow up

much less

turn 21.

but, i have!

by the grace of God,

Dr. Larry Crick,

Dr. Howard Kirshner,

a very patient, loving husband,

and

coumadin,

I.HAVE!

i have experienced

the best of times

and

the worst of times;

but,

i have lived to experience them

and

ALL

the good things motherhood

has had to offer.

i will be eternally grateful

for being granted the opportunity

to be katherine's mom

for this many years

and only pray

there will be many more

to come.

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

if the fates allow...

through the years,

we all will be together
if the fates allow...

Robert Callaway Soaper, III

(June 6, 1932 - December 6, 2013)

~@~

"someone's texting you, mom,"

katherine said to me

as i made my way 

through the kitchen

last night.

i picked up my phone to see

dawn had sent me a couple of messages.

after reading the first one,
i felt my heart start to break.

"bob soaper passed away."

~@~

i'd known bob's wife and son
most all of my life.
his wife, barbara, 
was my mom's beloved first-grade teacher,
and his son, bobo, was my age.
he was a good friend;
he and i graduated together.

however,
it wasn't until
the spring of 1995
when i went to work
for the planter's coffee house
that i got to know bob.
bob had a special way about him.
there was a twinkle in his eyes
and, on his face...
a unique smile
which begged to be reciprocated.

for nearly five years,
bob was not only the bright spot
of my mornings,
he was the bright spot of  my katherine's too.
most mornings,
katherine went out to greet her buddy
with a big ol' bear hug...
sometimes with a confection
she'd made just for him.
most mornings,
bob journeyed from the coffee bar
back to the kitchen
to inquire about my daily special...
most mornings,
i offered him a taste.
most mornings,
he offered me advice
concerning my rue...
my pie crust.

i ALWAYS looked forward
to seeing him
(always clad in a crisp, white, button-down oxford
and khakis)
whether in the kitchen
or
perched at the bar,
drinking his coffee,
reading the newspaper...
and
sharing his words of wisdom.

~@~

bob was family
to katherine and me...
so much so
we gave him and his family an open-invitation
to join us for our family's thanksgiving dinners.
(most of their family lived out of town.)
he even came and joined my family and me
for breakfast
at my grandmommie's.

BOB.WAS.SPECIAL.

(i always giggle a little
when i think of him...
bob was a 
grumpy-old-man-wannabee,
but
i knew/know he was just an old softy.)

~@~

here we are as in olden days
happy golden days of yore...

 i hadn't seen bob
(for far too long)
when katherine and i ran into him
last Christmas at hunan's, a local, Chinese restaurant.
bob came over to our table.
we were thrilled to see him!
katherine and i both jumped up
and gave him great big hugs.

what.an.unexpected.gift!

faithful friends who are dear to us
they gather near to us once more.

bob: come over here, dani.
 i need to tell you something.
me: (smiling) okay.

bob looked at katherine.

bob: (grinning) you stay here. 
this is between your mom and me.
katherine: (wondering) uh, okay...

(when she started working
at the library nearly four years ago,
katherine hadn't seen bob
in several years.
given bob was a regular at the library,
they picked up where they'd left off
at the coffee shop
and became big buddies once again.)

bob: dani, it's so good to see you.
me: you too, bob!
bob: (his eyes filled with tears) you have
a very special girl over there.
me: (my eyes also filled with tears) thank you.
bob: no, i mean REALLY special, 
and you need to know it.
every time i go into the library,
if katherine is there,
she brightens my day.
that kid has it all, dani.
she has personality,
she's smart,
she's a hard worker,
she's beautiful,
and
that smile...
that smile just gets me
every time.
(a tear rolled down his cheek.)

me: (i winked at him) thank you, bob, 
we think she's a keeper!

bob: yes, she is! you just don't know...

have yourself a merry little Christmas

we hugged again and wished one another
a merry Christmas.

me: i love you, bob.

~@~

but 'til then we'll have
to muddle through somehow.

that was the last time i saw bob.
earlier this year,
katherine came home and told me
bob was very ill and in the hospital.

katherine: can we send him some
flowers or something?
me: i will order flowers tomorrow.

several days later,
we received a sweet thank-you
from
mrs. soaper
saying bob had received the flowers...
they were waiting for him
at home when he returned
from the hospital.

~@~

hang a shining star upon the highest bough

today katherine and i are missing bob...
a.lot.
even though we haven't seen him,
he has been a part 
of our daily thoughts and prayers.
we have been blessed with the hope
we would see him again.

bob's death dashed the hope
of seeing him again here
on this earth.

however, there is a silver lining
(a platinum lining, actually)
we can still look forward to seeing bob
again one day in heaven.

(i know he is there...
smoking a cuban,
drinking a cuppa joe,
jawing with st. peter.)

until then,
we will remember our loved one 
lovingly and often.

 today i think i will go find a beautiful star
for katherine to place
atop her Christmas tree
(upon the highest bough)
in remembrance of our dear, dear bob soaper.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

happy saint nicholas day!

when it was time for katherine to start kindergarten,
we sent her to a private, catholic school
for primary (k-3). 

when december rolled
around the following year,
katherine's teacher, mrs. young,
shared the legend of saint nicholas
with katherine's class.
that afternoon,
when katherine got in our van,
she informed me 
december 6th would be st. nicholas day.
  
she explained,
if she placed her shoes on the hearth
 the night before,
saint nicholas would come
and fill her shoes with goodies.

so, i did a little research
 and found 
st. nicholas was a man of great faith
who lived his life in order to glorify Christ.
saint nicholas loved children
and cared for the needy.
further,
 he brought the love and healing of Jesus to both.
st. nicholas was the epitome of selfless giving
always honoring God who had given the world
His Son,
Jesus Christ,
the greatest Gift of all.

i also found,
by celebrating this early advent holiday,
 it helped katherine to better understand
santa claus
by revealing the real man
who inspired the familiar
legend and traditions.

so, we started the tradition
that year.
 we  placed an old pair of her slippers
on the hearth each december 5th evening,
and each december 6th morning
we discovered
saint nicholas had arrived during the night,
replaced the old shoes
with new ones,
and
filled the new ones
with candy.

~@~

what a sweet tradition;
thank you, mrs. young!

jolly old saint nicholas
still comes to this day...

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

the invitation...

last saturday
i decorated katherine's playhouse
for
CHRISTmas.
as i stood hanging the lights
on a rung near the top
of the ladder
john was holding for me,

he asked me
if i would like to

go to a Christmas dance

with him.

now.picture.his.view.

me: what kind of Christmas dance?

wait.for.it.

john: oh, my hog club
is having a Christmas party

over at the fop

in downtown evansville.

yes.he.did.invite.me.to.a.hog.dance.

picturing this:

i giggled...

well,
really i laughed out loud!

john: what?

me: (think medea) lort!

i quickly finished hanging the lights;
as i had to get off
the ladder before entertaining
any further dance talk.

~@~

later...

me: so, what does one wear
to a hog dance? 
john: i don't know.
it's probably more of a dinner.
i'd say it'll be pretty casual.
(he gave me a possum-eatin'-shit-grin)
you know, a leather vest
and chaps...
the usual.

i just looked at him
and shook my head...

a hog party,
really?

~@~

REALLY!

stay.tuned.

love and God's blessings,
dani xxx

mosses monday VI (revisited)...

(enjoy the music; it's my favorite carol:)

i pulled in the circular drive that ran alongside mr. and mrs. moss' home recognizing only a couple of the cars that were parked there. i parked my car and reached for their Christmas gift, a book of poetry i had written for them.

"a pearl untouched...
a jewel of the sea.
a heart touched by many...
a jewel of me." (dani 1988 excerpt)

i opened my car door and made a mad dash toward their house. it was so cold that day, and the wind coming off the ohio river was brisk and cutting.
it didn't help that i was wearing my pink corduroy walking shorts...
BRRR!!!

before i could even ring the bell, mr. moss opened the door...

"bless your heart, dani, come in here," he greeted me with a big hug.

"merry Christmas!!!" i said as i walked toward the den to place my gift under their tree.

after doing so, i turned around to see mrs. moss arms wide open offering a hug.

"i'm so glad you could make it," she said in her gravelly sophisticated voice, "here, let george take your coat."

as soon as i removed my coat, mrs. moss began to introduce me to their extended family. of course, i already knew mrs. moss' sister, nellie, and mr. moss' sister, "buzz", from many, many sunday lunches; but it was so nice to finally put faces with the names of their niece and nephews, their spouses and children, respectively. i had heard so many wonderful things about these people. they were all so warm and welcoming.

"dani, do you like country ham?" mr. moss asked.

"i like everything!!!" i answered with a big smile. i was smiling because i was happy. i was so happy to have been included in the moss' holiday, family celebration. i was so happy and content to be there.

i watched as mr. moss sliced the country ham, as mrs. moss carefully removed the cheesy grits from the oven, and as nellie spooned the turnip greens from a pot into a bowl.

i asked if i could help.

mrs. moss gave marlene (nellie's daughter-in-law) and me the task of filling the tea glasses with ice.

the food was blessed: we broke bread.
while we dined we talked, laughed, and enjoyed a delicious kentucky meal.

after our bellies were filled, we all sat in the den listening to the wind blow outside, watching the fire in the fire place, and chatting. everyone was, i suppose, a little curious about me. so i obliged them by answering their questions of how my mother was doing, how college was going, etc...

it was the first of many merry little Christmases i would be blessed to have the opportunity to spend with my mosses...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(to be continued...)
love and blessings, dani xx
ps you will find earlier entries in ascending order on my side bar entitled, "our love story":)

entertaining the idea...

me: what if we tear this one down

and build a new one?

john: (silence)

several hours later...

john: were you serious earlier?

me: maybe...

john: what would we build?

~@~

the lane is more a part of me

than i am of it.

it is who i am!

i mean, really,

who am i

 if not

#danibonthelane?

~@~

so, we've been entertaining

the idea

of tearing down our house

and building another.

at first,

it didn't seem economically wise.

however,

when we began thinking

about the updates

our house needs:

a new roof
new siding

new windows
a new garage

new flooring

fresh drywall

plaster repair

new cabinets

etc...

it began to look

more and more feasible,

especially when we realized

that

even after all the repairs

and updates,

we are still going to have

a house that isn't

exactly ideal

for the years to come.

~@~

theresa: i cannot see you

EVER tearing your house

down.

me: i think i could,

but it would be hard.

theresa: i just can't see you

actually doing it.

me: well, i think i could

if i were able to save parts

of it to put in a new one.

theresa: like what?

me: well, the hardwood floors for sure

and the double-dutch-doors.

theresa: i don't believe you could

do it when it came right 

down to it.

~@~

she.may.be.right.

~@~

however,

we are still

entertaining the idea;)

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx