throwback thursday (the rescue)...

(destin, florida 1996)

recently on our way to florida,

katherine asked,

"what was that boy's name...

the one that saved me from drowning?"

"his first name was jacob,

and he was from new orleans.

that's all i know." 

i laughed,

"you are a dork, katherine!"

kat continued telling zack

the story of how she was "drowning",

and the boy "saved her life".

this throwback thursday

is dedicated to jacob.

for, if it weren't for 

his quick thinking

and actions,

our little katherine

might not be here with us today;)

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

The Dance... (Happy Birthday, Gary!)

And now I’m glad I didn't know

 The way it all would end...

The way it all would go.

 The night before Gary’s funeral, I lay in bed pondering the words I would use to eulogize my precious brother in law.  Gary’s beautiful story of redemption could tell itself, but I didn’t want to disappoint Linda, Gary’s wife, or God in my delivery.

As I lay there carefully choosing my words and organizing my thoughts, something occurred to me, God, you have meticulously mapped out the way this all has gone!  In the silence of the night I was in awe.  I still recall getting goosebumps I got when the words, "God's timing is like a perfect dance," came to me. In that moment all I knew was I needed something to write with and on!  I quickly and quietly made my way out of bed and down the stairs to where I knew I would find both.  When I flipped on the lights, I saw on the coffee table a small tablet, a couple of ink pens, and my Bible- My lands,  I couldn't get up and speak at Gary’s funeral without using God's word! What was I thinking?

Our lives are better left to chance.

I could have missed the pain,

 But I’d of had to miss the dance.

So, I curled up on the couch with pen paper and my Bible. After penning the word Dance on the paper, I closed and sat the tablet to my side. I sat and stared at my Bible lying in my lap. Searching, I flipped through the pages...

nothing. I turned to the index for passages  containing "timing" or "dance".

Nothing.

I began to pray...

 Thank you, God, for revealing yourself

 to us through Gary.  You have written such a beautiful story to share though my words are not enough; I need yours too...

In that instant, I was enveloped by Him. My chest was hot; I could hear my heartbeat in my ears, the hairs on my arms stood erect!

Looking back on the memory 

Of the dance we shared

Beneath the stars above.

 John!  I heard Him say.

(Of course, John was my earthly connection to Gary.)

I opened my Bible and turned to the Book of John.

"What about John, God?" I asked,

"I’m here, what now?"

You know. He answered.

 "I do?"

I thought...

"11:11?" I questioned.

(As cliché as it sounds it’s the sign He gave me.)

 Look.  See. He responded.

After He had said this, He went on to tell them, 'our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.' (niv, John 11:11)

OH.MY.WORD.

Lazarus!

 All those months ago on the night Gary asked me to share my God with him, I shared the story of Lazarus concluding I didn’t know how things would end, but I knew God was using Gary and me.

For a moment all the world was right.

How could I have known? 

That you'd ever say goodbye?

Gary’s story had come full circle.

 The Alpha and the Omega-

 I knew it, He was there at the beginning of Gary’s journey…

 He was there at the end:

"Look, Dani, look through the roof!

 IT'S.SO.BEAUTIFUL!" Gary exclaimed.

 "Do you see it?" he asked.

 There was silence.  The three of us turned our undivided attention to Gary.

 I asked, "What did you say, Gary?"

He repeated, "Look through the roof, isn't it beautiful?"

Heaven…

(Gary was seeing Heaven.)

But if I’d only known

How the king would fall,

Hey, who’s to say, you know,

I might have changed it all.

I tore the piece of paper I’d written on from the tablet and used it to mark my place in my Bible.  Before turning out the light, I glanced around the room.

Thank you, God. I love you.

(Honestly, I don't know how I slept…

I had been in HIS presence.

HE had spoken to me.

HE had revealed HIS perfection,

HIS plan,

His whole self…

to me!)

And, He wasn’t finished…

The following morning I awoke. With my Bible in hand, I went downstairs to the kitchen where I found Linda with the same notepad and pen  I’d used the night prior.

"My Dani, this is how I think I want the service to go," she said and handed me the tablet.

Tears welled up in my eyes. Then came the hot chest and the loud pounding of my heartbeat in my head followed by goosebumps which, once again, caused the hair on my arms to stand at attention. I thought my knees would buckle beneath me. From between the pages of the Book of John, I pulled the paper I’d written the word Dance and handed it to her.

 Immediately, she saw:  she knew.

IT.WAS.GOD .

Unbeknownst to me prior to that very moment, Linda had decided to use Garth Brooks' song,  The Dance, as the theme for Gary’s funeral.

OH.MY.GOD…

THE DANCE!

Yes my life is better left to chance.

I could have missed the pain, 

But I’d of had to miss the dance.

  In loving memory of our Gary,  on his birthday...  on this memorial day.
Love and God's blessings, Dani xxx

because i love him...

when john and i were dating

his sister often asked me,

"why are you dating him?'

my reply was always,

"because i love him."

~@~

i awoke this morning to john holding my hand.

before i was even awake,

my heart began to sing.

sometimes i have to pinch myself

so as to know i am not dreaming.

then i think,

God really gave him to me...

and i smile.

~@~

over the years

we have had issues

both through and around

which we have 

worked.

things have not always been 

dreamy.

thankfully though,

we never allowed the issues

to define us.

love.has.defined.who.we.are.

~@~

nearly 25 years ago

i went to john and expressed

my feelings for him.

john was a very guarded man.

however,

he allowed me into his world-

into his heart.

God blessed me

with john.

make no mistake,

it was not the other way around.

i prayed to God

for him.

God answered my prayers.

~@~

john and i celebrated our 23rd

anniversary on saturday:

23 years together

because i love him

and he loves me

and

GOD loves us...

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

a few of my favorite things...

anyone who knows me

knows

i.am.not.a.things.kind.of.person.

i

am

an

if.it.lives.and.breathes.kind.of.person.

however,

there are a few things i love.

~@~

i love...

flannel pajamas

hard-wood floors

ralph lauren tee shirts

double-dutch doors

violets and daisies
most all wild flowers
thick soft towels
long warm showers

my haflinger house shoes

abercrombie flip flops

my black madden sandals

i don't wear crocks

my johnny cash boots

my weekender jeans

my ribbed black turtleneck

and a few more things...

marzetti's honey mustard
heinz 57
nutella on most anything
tastes like heaven

diet coke from mcdonald's

with a fat straw

reese's cups and snickers

that's not all

mint chocolate chip ice cream

two scoops in a cone
martin's photography
pictures taken with my phone

ray ban sunglasses
paul sebastian's design
my pandora necklace
a good bottle of wine

fructis and secret
skintimate and crest
new sharp razors
venuses are best

cascade and dawn
downy and tide
bounty and charmin
the squeezable kind

my jeep commander
the one that guzzles gas
my john deere tractor
mowing the grass

floating in the pool

writing in bed

watching cnn

or breaking bad instead

when maggie snores

when a bell rings

when i'm feeling well

these are a few of my favorite things

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

sanctity of the lane...

for many reasons,

i have always treasured

my life on the lane...

especially in the spring

and summer.

when the flowers and trees

are in full bloom,

the lane looks much like

an original,

thomas kinkade

painting.

the lane is also a bit enchanted...

we have deer,

squirrels,

foxes,

raccoons,

opossums,

groundhogs,

moles,

turtles,

owls,

bats,

and

birds...

lots of birds. 

what i've always 

treasured most

though

are my next-door neighbors,

the davis'.

when i moved here 

as a little girl

with my parents,

jack and stella quickly became
my best friends

(even though i was only nine

and they were in their sixties.)

i remember in the summers

anxiously 
watching out the living room window

or them to arrive home from work.

i got so giddy 

when i saw their woody station wagon

 pull into their driveway.
like clockwork, 
the two got out of the car,

stella went in to start supper, 
and 
jack headed to his garage.

as soon as i saw jack 
sitting in his lawn chair.

i ran over to 

"play."

when he saw me coming,
he stood and 

grabbed an extra lawn chair for me.
"dani, sit down here with me!"
he would say.

we sat and watched 

sanford and son

almost every afternoon together.

although i was only a mere fourth-grader,

 jack talked to me like i was grown.

i liked that!
we talked about school,
politics, family, money,
bb guns, gardening, 
etc...

when stella saw that i was there,

she brought jack and me

Coca-Cola
or sweet tea

poured over ice

in ball jars.

she handed us our drinks 

and then dried her hands on her

apron.

stella was beautiful.

(stella.is.still.beautiful.)

she always had her hair

fixed.

and...

whether she was dressed 

for church

or

in shorts, a polo,

tennis shoes,

and apron,

she looked like

a model-modern-housewife-and-mother.

she never failed to ask me about my day.

i remember trying to come up

with a good tale

because i loved, loved, loved

to hear her reply,

"well, good grief!"

it reminded me of charlie brown

and always made me giggle.

she then usually returned to her kitchen

to continue preparing dinner.

jack and i sipped

our drinks

(well, jack took swigs of his 

after each spit of tobacco;)

all the while watching 

 fred sanford

grab his shoulder 

and tell his late wife,

elizabeth,

he was coming to join her.

jack could imitate fred
to a t, 
which also made me giggle.

after a while,

mom would holler 

for me to come home

for dinner,

and

stella called jack in as well.

~@~

many nights

after we ate supper

mom allowed me 
to rejoin them in their backyard..

i don't know if i was a bother to them,

but if i was,

they never made me feel like it.

there were no other children on the lane.

they were all i had.

they were 

all i needed.

i.loved.them.

~@~

when i was little

we never took summer vacations.

but,

that was okay

because jack and stella didn't either.

my jack

preached the sanctity of the lane...

he would scoot to the front of his lawn-chair

expand his arms as wide as he could

as if presenting something  really special

and rhetorically ask,

"why would we want to 

go anywhere else

when we have everything we need

right here?"

 i would look at him,
he had a sparkle in his eye.
grin,
and think to myself,

"why?" indeed!

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

i think he knew the way...

the first week of april always brings

about 

in me

a flood of memories

of 

a

most precious time in my life.

for

it was time spent with gary

in the days leading up to his

journey

home.

~@~

on several occasions

(first here and again here)

i've shared

the story of his death...

it.was.beautiful.

it was raw,
but,

yes...
oh.yes.

beauty full.

~@~

God's presence

was as dense and expansive

as the fog that hovered over

lake misty

on those last, cool,
april mornings
of gary's

life.

gary lived most of his life

admittedly 

without God in it.

but once he allowed

God in...

GOD
NEVER
FORSOOK
HIM!

GOD
also took 
great care of those of us
surrounding gary.
HE made sure to include
us in the details 
of HIS plan for gary.
HE
knew
we were watching
and
HE
didn't want us to miss a thing.
HE
knew
we would witness
to what we saw.
HE
knew
HIS HOLY SPIRIT
would not let us forget
a single,
important
detail
of gary's story.

i've written
(in the aforementioned places)
about the most important
details.
but there are others i have
of the time leading up to gary's
departure.

like...

when gary told me i needed
to see
remember the titans
and
gladiator.
he also told me
to listen to
the song,
time marches on...
that it's true,
it does, indeed, march on.

like...

when we were on our way
to buy new sheets and a comforter
for gary's hospital bed,
linda asked me what
i thought 
GOD
 was going to do.
and i answered
i didn't know
but it was going to be something
BIG
and i'd known 
that much
from the very moment 
of gary's diagnosis.

like...

when i left the house
that morning to go run errands
for linda...
while gary lay dying,
this song was on the radio...
(you should listen to the very end)




on a station to which
i didn't recall setting
my tuner.

like...

when i was reading the end of gary's book
to him,
there was a character named "violet"
and that our yard was literally 
full of violets 
when we returned home 
to prepare for his funeral.
and that in those few pages i read to him
before he
 left us
there were the two words,
rouge
and
arroyo,
in the text...
(the only words missing 
from the last crossword puzzle 
gary would finish
the night prior).
and how i paused and smiled
when i came to them in my reading.

like...

when john's sister-in-law
said
everyone was there 
when she saw gary's 
youngest sister's family
pull into his driveway...
and gary heard and believed
it was, finally, okay to
go.

like...

when gary's puppy, max,
went crazy as the backdoor opened
releasing gary's spirit
from the house.

like...

when gary's brother
headed back up to the house
(not knowing gary was gone)
saying he felt what he believed to be
gary's spirit brush by his face.

~@~

i remember all those things
and more...

love and GOD's blessings,
dani xxx

happy birthday, taunya...

i call this masterpiece...

THE FAB FIVE

(and two cheerleaders)

when i was growing up i never had sisters.

however, when i went away to college,

God blessed me with four!
from left to right:
susan, ginny, jeanne, and taunya

we were family.

we lived together.

we laughed together.

we loved together.

~@~

today is taunya's birthday

(she is the one with the birthday hat;)

so, today i am going to celebrate...

TAUNYA!

~@~

 although taunya and i went to high school

together, we never really knew each other

until our freshmen year in college.

i remember her coming up to my dorm room

the friday night of parents' weekend.

(our parents had decided not to come until saturday morning)

so, while everyone else was out with their parents,

taunya and i talked and talked and talked.

we got to know pretty much everything about 

each another.

we became fast, great friends.

26 1/2 years later...

i consider her to still be one of my very best!

~@~

taunya and i have been through the best of times

and the worst of times.

the best of times

found us...

being ΛΧΑ little sisters together,

cohabiting with 4 other girls in a shotgun-house 

(with only one bathroom, a piano on the front porch,

sitting next to a boot store with a life-size horse on its awning),

road-tripping to florida with a bunch of ΑΤΩ's,

falling in love,

getting married,

and having babies.

~~~

the worst of times

found us...

tragically losing young, loved ones

way too soon.

~@~

our friendship has withstood the test of time.

i thank God for letting me stumble upon you,

t!!!

love and God's blessings,

d xxx

a sense of humor (lenten bloopers)...

at that time Jesus, full of joy through the Holy Spirit, said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure. (luke 10:21)

just sharing me 

laughing at myself...

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx

that and this...

there's that...

at the end of last semester,

katherine declared her major.

she decided she would like to teach

at the elementary level.

so, last monday was her first day

in the classroom at evansville's

harper elementary.

she was there only minutes

before being proposed to by carlos.

carlos is a darling, little, curly-headed boy

who happens to be a student in the first grade class

in which she has been placed.

i asked her if she accepted his proposal.

she said she told him she was too old for him.

that didn't deter little carlos though...

poor little boy with a teacher crush;)

~@~

and then there's this...

i usually give up something for lent like

sugar, chocolate, etc...

or go on a fast of some sort.

however, after realizing that valentine's day

and a planned sleepover fell in the days

after lent started,

i knew better than to do that.

so, i failed to plan anything for lent this year.

after a weekend of feeling badly for my lack of planning,

i decided to try to do something instead of nothing.

i decided, better late than never.

therefore i prayed about it and came up

the idea to video blog my walk with God.

hence...

i have a new video blog entitled,

my lenten project.

i'm only 4 days into it.

if you would like to catch up

you may click

HERE.

love and God's blessings,

dani xxx