Friday, October 10, 2008

my impatient patient...

yesterday was a very long day...
spent with a VERY impatient
patient!!!

(my john)

john was supposed to be at methodist hospital
yesterday morning at 8:30 am for his 9:15 am
colonoscopy.

we arrived at 8:15 am.

john hasn't been having any problems or anything.
this was just a routine test that he needed to have...
a baseline test if you will.

(now, before i go any further, i'm just going to say it:
i have found that men are the most pitiful beings
when it comes to medical issues!!!)

wednesday, john came home and immediately started
his pre-test regime of laxatives and fluids.
within thirty minutes of drinking his first drink of gatorade,
he looked and acted like he'd come down with the flu...
and not just any flu...
like the bird flu!!!
you know
something MAJOR!!!

i would have felt very sorry for him
had i not myself already had three of these tests
in the past.

there he sat in the chair-and-a-half
covered up from nose to toe
shivering.

well, that went on all night...

so, when yesterday morning finally arrived,
i swear he looked like death.
but there was NOTHING the matter with him!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

back to the hospital...


as i said we arrived a little early,
but they took john back soon after we sat down in the waiting area.

about 30-45 minutes later, the same nurse that took him back to day surgery reappeared and said my name. i looked up and smiled at her. she said that i could come on back as he was ready.

wow, i thought, this is the fastest methodist hospital has ever done anything that i can remember!!!

john had told me that the test itself would only take about 15 minutes but still...

well, i walked in to the room to which she directed me expecting to find my groggy, pitiful husband. instead, i found an alert, pitiful husband awaiting his turn.


it was a little after 9 am. i sat and we talked a little and listened to the nurses gossip outside his opened door. then he turned on the tv, and i started working a puzzle.

"dani, what time is it???" john asked.

"twenty-one minutes after nine," i answered.

"THEY'RE LATE," he quipped.

"john, only six minutes..." i said.

one can only imagine how irritated he was when 10 am rolled around and he still hadn't been taken back for his test (irritated like saying that the doctor was going to owe john for john's time irritated)

ROTFLMAO!!!

john hasn't ever been sick, he doesn't have a family doctor (he's never needed one), and he's never been at anyone else's mercy; so, he was just getting a taste of what the rest of us have come to expect; right!!!

i walked into the hall. all three nurses looked at me and almost in unison inquired if they, respectively, could help me.

i asked when he would be taken for his test.
one of the nurses grabbed his chart and said,
"his test is scheduled to begin at 10:30..."

before she could get out that it would be about another 30 minutes,
john hollers, "my test was supposed to be at 9:15, 9:15;
this is bs (only he didn't say bs;)!!!"

i grinned and shrugged as the nurse whispered to me that scheduling must have bumped him and failed to let him know.

my guy was NOT a happy camper

until...

after the procedure (drugs) and all was declared to be ok!!!

i guess it was all just too much for him.
(i KNOW it was too much for me, tee-hee!!!)

my poor john has been on edge and cursed more in the last 6 days than in the last 6 years combined!!!

it's good to have back MY good ol' guy:D

love and blessings,
dani xx



22 comments:

SuzanSayz said...

Oh the poor big baby. I can't really talk though. I have been expected by my doctor to get a colonoscopy for almost two years now. I just keep putting it off because the whole thing sounds so unpleasant. I am so terrible at getting things done. I haven't had a mammogram in probably two and a half years either.
What can I say? I'm simply the world's worst procrastinater.

Tabitha said...

Can't say that this is my most favourite procedure ~ but because we have a family history of bowel cancer ~ my sister and I are both tested ~ yearly!! (I hate it ha ha !!)....but since it is what killed my dad ~ I suppose it is better to be safe!!
I hope that your dear Hubby is ok now ~ and all recovered!
love and hugs to you both XXXXX

Lisa@verybusymomwith4 said...

Good for him for getting this done even if they were late and let's face it--that is not a fun thing to do ;)

Hannah said...

Hahahahaha big baby :P
I dig how last night, I walk into your room and I hear Katherine asking him if it hurt, and if he felt violated!
I was about to bust a gut :P

l,
Hannah

dani said...

suz, it's really not that bad. i'm not saying that it's a barrel of monkeys or anything. personally, the worst part is the clear liquid diet the day prior...
i haven't had my first mamogram, yet, so i cannot say anything pro or con about that one, hee!!!
love,
dani

dani said...

it is no fun, tabitha, i know. i'm just relieved john has it behind him (no pun intended;)!!! it must have really been weighing on my guy...
all is good now, though:D
love,
dani

dani said...

lisa, he doesn't realize that very few procedures are on time. i thought he was very lucky to be on his way home by noon!!!
love,
dani
ps. i'm glad he went through with the test because there were a few minutes there where it was "iffy", ha!!!

dani said...

ha, me too hannah!!! she knows just how to embarrass the bajeebers our of him:b
love,
m

Amanda said...

Nurses having a gossip?? Never!!!
ROTFLMAO!!
On a serious note, i'm glad John is ok and the test gave a negative result.
The bowel prep before this procedure is just so cruel.
Again, i'm glad all is OK.
l,
Amanda x

dani said...

it is, amanda, but he was totally pitiful before his bowels even thought about moving, ha!!! thank you; i'm relieved all is well with him, too:D
love,
dani

Little Sweethearts said...

Communication is everything. If they just would have told him it was postponed I'm sure he would have felt better. Poor John.

Oh, I just reread your post and I think I figured out what the bs stands for... ;)

Love and hugs,
Tania

Shannon said...

This sounds all to familiar as I was having about the same conversation with my mom yesterday and how men are the biggest babies. My dad just recently had this procedure. Thankfully...he's ok. He's a Cancer survivor so we are always a bit worried when he gets any check up.

Hey...tell John that all of us in Blogger world are thinking of him. Also, he may want to stay off the Harley for a few days...until you know....he feels up to par.:)

Jenn said...

Poor thing.
William had a colonoscopy a few years ago. "Violated" would be the right word!

What an ordeal for the both of you.
I hate that they didn't tell him about the time change. That's chaps MY HINNEY!

Jan said...

That chaps my hinney was hilarious.

This just happened to my boss's husband. Almost exactly. That is really not a good thing for a male to have to endure.

Tanya said...

Yep men are the worst when it comes to these things!! I must say that it wasn't a nice procedure to go through though!! I'd say it must have really had John on edge waiting for this to be over, poor guy... glad it's over & everything is all good! Hope John is feeling himself again!

have a great weekend :)

love,
t. xxxxx

Kellan said...

Men do make the worst patients, don't they? I'm glad he is okay and it is over for him and you -tee hee!

Take care and have a good weekend - Kellan

E and T said...

Hi Dani

Waiting to have something done is so frustrating. I know when I was booked in to be induced to have Blake and then eleven (count them 11!!!) hours later they finally started the induction I was just about going stir crazy.

Lucky John had you by his side. Keeping the situation calm and ensuring he went through with it. What a relief (for you both!) to have the whole thing over and done with.

Hope John is feeling better now.

Lots of love and hugs
Elise

Lucy said...

Bet John's glad it is all over. Having gone through this dreaded process, I found the clean out pria to the procedure was really the worst thing. John sounds like he really speaks his mind and good on him for that. Glad that all is well.
Love and hugs.
Lucy XXXXOOOO

Bren's Life said...

Poor Baby! I hope he is feeling better today.. Isn't it funny how impatient men can be.. You think the world revolved around them or something!!!

Christy said...

I understand this problem. My husband got a cold last week and laid around whining for days. He didn't lift a finger all week. I now have the same cold, but I never get a damn day off.

Glad your husband is okay.

Robin said...

Wow..My husband does the same thing..Maybe it's in the male chromosome or something! LOL!!!

Glad his test went well!

Dana said...

Did you show him the Lou Rulxyjawls video???