at the eleventh hour...

i ventured out last night for the first time in weeks... at 11pm i threw on a pair of blue jeans, a t-shirt, and some flip-flops and headed to the grocery store. we were out of everything!!!

i only went for the necessities, but ended up with a full cart. the store was about to close for the night, so there were only three or four people on duty... only one cashier. she had a back up at her cash register because the rather LARGE gentleman (seriously, think "the green mile") in the front of the line had picked up the wrong can of diced tomatoes.

"SON, I TOLD YOU, 'AISLE 2... AISLE 2'... THE CHEAPEST CAN THEY GOT OF DICED TOMATOES", the "tomato man" started yelling across the store.

there was a couple standing between me and the "tomato man". i don't usually stereotype; but, i'm pretty sure they were "crack heads" (really, they had that... skin and bones, i look 20 years older than i am, geeked out look about them that i'd seen many times before in mug shots (from meth busts) on the news).

the next thing i knew "tomato man" was yelling at his boy again... the cashier then sent one of the stock boys to find "tomato man's" boy and his can of diced tomatoes.

"tomato man" then proceeded to greet a young guy who had walked up behind me. i turned and noticed that the guy was only holding one item and asked if he'd like to get in front of me.

he did.

as the guy was walking around me, the "tomato man's" boy walked up tossing a can of diced tomatoes into the air and catching it... like, "all was good in the hood"...

the cashier scanned the can and as she handed it to the "tomato man" she said that the diced tomatoes contained diced olives, onions, and garlic.

"BOY", tomato man shook his head, "i said, 'DICED TOMATOES'. what part of 'DICED TOMATOES' didn't you understand???"
"ah... those'll be alright dad," the boy replied (he couldn't care less).
"yeah, we'll see what your MAMA thinks about that..." "tomato man" said under his breath (but where anyone left in the store could still hear).

tomato man was a loud one!!!

i had to chuckle to myself... mama was NOT going to be happy with olives in her diced tomatoes. i was sure of that:D

the "crack couple" paid for whatever they were purchasing (probably batteries and over-the-counter allergy drugs). then they left.

next up??? the guy i had let in front of me.

i had already started putting my things on the conveyor.

"that will be $1.79," the cashier said to the guy.
"what??? i thought it was only a dollar. i only have a dollar..." the guy replied.
"no, it's $1.79," the cashier stood firmly.
"wow, dude, that sign said a dollar..." he continued.

please, GOD, let me out of this store before i have a stroke!!! i thought to myself:[
i reached into my purse, pulled out a dollar, and offered it to the guy.

when he turned around to take the dollar i could see that he was buying a litre bottle of beer. further, the guy was drunk... i mean DRUNK!!! he took the 'one' from me all the while proclaiming his gratitude and saying that the next time he saw me
he promised to repay me.

"just be careful," i said. (there i'd tried to be nice, next i was afraid he would go out and have a wreck or something. it would be all my fault!!! DAMN IT!!!)

the cashier looked at me and said, "don't worry. he walks everywhere he goes. he just has to cross that street and then walk a straight line home."
he shook his head in agreement with what she was telling me.

it's a sad day when a cashier also has to wear the hat of a bartender...

"well, be careful walking home," i said. "walk straight, and don't fall into the ditch." he was soooooooooo drunk: i was really concerned:(, and all he wanted to do was profess his undying love for me for giving him a dollar so that he could get a little drunker.

finally, he left.

"i told that boy i didn't take him to raise," the cashier said to me.
"he comes here often?" i said.
"yes, and he knows good and well that the beer that's a dollar sits right next to the BIG bottle... some nights i let it slide; i put the change in for him," she said.

finally, after all of that, i tipped the bag boy for putting my groceries in the jeep, slid into my seat, thanked the bag boy again as he shut my back door, and sighed...

"WHEW friggin' WEEEEE!!!"

i came home, katherine put away the groceries, i showered and crawled into bed, and that's where i've been since:b

(note to self: dani, you should have sent john to get the groceries!!!)

love and blessings,
dani xx