well, a few minutes ago maggie started whining (it was the "i have to go outside... really badly... to take care of ALL my business" whine).
so, i got out of bed, slid my feet into john's house slippers, leashed her, and out we went.
she went straight out and took care of the first of the order of business. then we went around to the side yard where she likes to smell around and check to see if i'm going to let her go to visit our neighbor. (i wasn't visiting anyone this morning!!! i had bed-head, hadn't yet brushed my teeth, had no bra on... you get the picture...)
about the time we got to the side of the house, one of the staff at the mansion across the lane pulled to the end of the estate's driveway and turned off his lawn mower. maggie started barking hysterically!!! ISH!!! (i tried desperately to get her to stop barking with no avail. she wanted the man to come over and play with her so badly she could taste it!!! thank goodness he didn't oblige her:/
(he just sat there, right in the middle of the drive above, staring. maggie, of course, was still barking. he waved. i waved back to him. he took a big gulp of something out of a white jug. maggie was still barking her head off at him.)
"did he run out of gas??? omgosh, can he see through my t-shirt (poor guy, ha!!!)??? what the fudge is he doing???" were the thoughts i had running through my head.
maggie was STILL barking at him; so, i directed her to the other side of the yard. she got about 10 feet from the lane and FINALLY started to take care of the second order of her business.
it was at that very moment, i glanced up (in what felt like slow motion) to see that a funeral procession car had stopped traffic at the end of the lane. a hearse pulled onto our street!!
there we stood... me looking like i've already mentioned and maggie all arched back getting ready to POOP (there, i said it. that's what she was about to do!!!), and, at that point, there was no stopping her:o
first, let me say that a funeral procession has NEVER used "the lane" to get from the funeral home to any cemetery in town. however, (it was then that it dawned on me) the mother of the father of the family that lives in the mansion across the lane died a few days ago. i suppose the funeral procession came up the lane for that reason. he must have also informed his staff... THAT is why his worker had turned off the lawn mower... OUT OF RESPECT!!!
NO ONE INFORMED ME!!!
thus, there maggie and i stood... a sight frozen in time for at least a third of the procession to see.
WE WERE A SIGHT TO BEHOLD!!!
did i say maggie was taking the longest poop of her life??? she was, indeed!!!
did i say that my hair looked like a rat's nest??? yes, it did!!!
did i say that i had on CHRISTMAS flannel pajama bottoms with a thin polo t-shirt??? yes, that too!!!
and finally... did i say that i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone??? yes, i do...
i know one thing... i will NOT go out in my front yard, looking THAT way again!!! at least not until the next time maggie needs to go out and potty...
i mean, "lightning never strikes twice in the same spot"!!!
isn't that how the old adage goes???
love and blessings,