Monday, August 25, 2008

a real dilemma...


(poor kat)

well, katherine got her cell phone taken away from her at school on friday. it is against the rules to have them at school. so, when hers fell out of her book bag, it was confiscated. once it was confiscated, she also received detention, which she will serve this afternoon.

my dilemma is this...

as her parent, i want her to have her phone with her!!!i feel way more comfortable (this day and time) with her having the phone at school with her at all times.

our high school is the biggest in the state with 2000 students on the roll.
the school has had problems with fights, drugs, guns, bomb threats, and, yes, even rape!!!

is it wrong of me to send her with the phone to school???

katherine has only EVER gotten into trouble at school 2 times in 13 years (including pre-school). both times it has been over the cell phone.

last year, she got detention for having it at school when her alarm went off on it in her purse. (she uses it as an alarm to awake in the mornings. she had had an orthodontist appointment the day prior and had reset the alarm for later than she normally did. she forgot to reset it, hence it went off in the middle of her first period class. she had it turned off; but the alarm will sound regardless of on or off.)

friday, as i said, it fell out of her book bag (they are not allowed to have book bags that zip).

she was not USING it either time.

the other thing is this... some of the teachers allow the kids to not only have their cell phones on them; but they also allow them to use the phones for texting and the such when they have completed their class work. katherine has several teachers that allow them.

now, i don't know whether to let it go or whether i should talk to someone about changing the rule. i really think that the rule needs to be changed for safety purposes. i don't think the phones should be used for play. they should be turned off and stowed during class unless allowed (teacher's discretion).

what do you think???

love and blessings,
dani xx

39 comments:

Jan said...

That is a dilemma. I think I would truly talk to the school and let your feelings be known about this situation and the whys you want your daughter to have one. We don't face that here at all. I know several who have cell phones around at school. Good luck with that. I am sorry she has to feel like she did something wrong when it wasn't wrong at all. Poor girl. Those situations are now fun.

Jan said...

I meant no fun.

My daughter wants me to start proof reading before I post comments. She says I make so many mistakes. :) This proves her right.

Robin said...

I agree. I feel much better when Hunter has his cell phone with him. They're only allowed to use them during lunch and need to keep them off during class.

I do think you should follow up with the school just to ensure the teachers all enforce the policy in the same manner..

Robin :-)

Tabitha said...

I think that is awful. The children at Dans school are allowed to take their phones with them, and they ask that they are handed into reception for safe keeping (it is a very small school though!!). I think that Kat should be able to keep her phone on her, for all the reasons you stated ~ safety reasons. I would speak to the school and maybe put forward that as a matter of safety (ie if a child misses a ride home etc!!), the pupils should be allowed to take their phones ~ but keep them off unless the teacher allows it!!
It is so hard when the school has a rule that is obviously not working ~ maybe it is time for a change.
Good luck with it all!!
love and hugs XXXXXXXXX

Amanda said...

I don't see the problem if the phones are switched off during lessons. At Andrews school, the older kids who have phones have to hand them into the School Office and then collect them when school is over.
I would make sure Kat has it with her at school, but better concealed Haha!!
hugs to Kat :)
l,
Amanda x

Shannon said...

This is just crazy that she got into trouble! I would absolutely talk to the school about this and maybe get some other parents on board.
I'm sure Katherine can laugh it off...detention that is. She's going to stick out like a sore thumb.

linda said...

A teenager having a cell phone on them is a must these days.

Did they take her phone away for the rest of the year or just for the day. If they took it away for good, I'd be down at the school in no time.

If they took it away for only a day or two, I'd probably let it pass. Although it never hurts to let your concerns be known.

Our kids weren't allow to have their cell phones at school either...to much of a distraction.

Weith Kick said...

My wife was a high school teacher for over 10 years and she was very liberal when it came to cell phones in the classroom. She allowed it just as long as it wasn't interupting the class. Cell phones in schools are going to happen whether administrators like it or not. They just need to set some rules down regarding cell phone use in school, but don't ban them altogether

Ginny said...

At Michael's school, they are allowed to have them, but they are not allowed to be seen out of their pockets or purses. They must also be turned off, not just on vibrate. 2 years ago it was "illegal" to be able to see the outline of them in your pocket, but they've changed that rule! There are some teachers that let them text during free time-not sure if school officials know this. If they are caught with it during school, it's confiscated, and the parent must pick it up. On the second offense, the school supposedly keeps it for 30 days. As a bill paying parent, I would send that month's statement to the school. Luckily Michael has never had his taken. I agree that I want him to have it. We haven't had any major problems at school, but you just never now when someone or some student will do the unthinkable. When he gets in trouble at home, the phone is the last thing I take just because I want to be able to reach him at all times! love, gin

Bren's Life said...

I am not sure how I feel actually about cell phones. I agree your daughter didn't deserve to have it taken away.
But it's so sad that kids now a days spend so much time texting & playing on their cell phones that their getting into car accidents & using them for no good..
That is so scary though about the bus stuff. I would definately want her to have it for that...

Cristin said...

Our school allows them, they can be used between classes, and the students are asked at the start of class to turn them off...I think it works well this way...

I like knowing they can call/text me if they need to during the day...

tricky...

SuzanSayz said...

I would be up at that school everyday being the biggest loudest squeeky wheel they ever saw.
A. it is just plain none of their business if a kid has a phone as long as they are not disruptive with it.
B. Everyone knows that there is NO such thing as a safe school. Even in prisons horrible things happen. And look how well they are guarded. So for them to have the nerve to tell parents that their child cannot carry a cell phone is going way beyond resonable.
C. It is really wrong as well to have such spotty enforcement of the rule. You can't have one teacher allowing their use in the classroom in down times and another teacher taking them away just for seeing one.
Our High School has allowed cell phones for several years. Of course they are NOT to cause disruptions, but that hardly ever happens. This is the 21st Century and cell phones are just a fact of life, so yes Dani, damn right you need to do something. I think I would start with a petition and also enlist your local news outlets. Gee, do you think you touched a nerve here?
Fight on Brave Dani!! Fight ON!!!

dani said...

jan, it's just too bad that safely at school doesn't apply any more:S
she is fine. i picked her up from detention this afternoon.
thank you:)
love,
dani

dani said...

hey, robin:) i don't mind that different teachers use different rules. you know they did when i was in school... as some would let us chew gum; some wouldn't, etc...
i just think the big rule should be that they be allowed so long as they are turned off...
i haven't decided whether to say anything or not???
thank you.
love,
dani

dani said...

i totally agree with all you said, tabitha. the school is too big for phone drop-off. but, it is the size of the school that increases my desire for katherine to have her phone with her... go figure???
love,
dani

dani said...

amanda, we are definitely going to work on the concealed part. i am going to get her a zippered cosmetic bag or something in which to put it:)
thank you.
love,
dani

dani said...

ha, shannon:b
just like a sore thumb. everyone else came out dressed in black with chains, HA!!! the fact that she had detention was no big deal. but, she will not go to school without a phone (so long as she has one).
love,
dani

dani said...

hi, linda:)
they just took it until i go in and pick it up (which i will do tomorrow when i pick her up for her orthodontist appt.) i'm not worried about the phone... just kat's safety without one!!!
thank you.
love,
dani

dani said...

i agree, wk:) and as i said, it doesn't bother me that some let them/some don't. i just want her to have it in case of emergency...
l,
db

dani said...

well, gin... i wish i could say there haven't been any incidents. but, there was a girl raped in the restroom a year and a half ago, weapons confiscated on a semi-regular basis, and a bomb threat about 6 months ago.
hchs has changed a little and not for the better... just for the bigger:S
love,
dano

dani said...

hi, bren...
again, it doesn't bother me that her phone was taken nor that she was disciplined she/we broke the rule. i just don't like the rule.
i totally agree with you about the negative aspects of cell phones (in general), though.
love,
dani

dani said...

hi, cristin:)
welcome over to my rant, HA!!! i think i like your rule; i could definitely live with the way your school handles the situation.
so, happy you stopped by give me:D
love,
dani

dani said...

suz,
would you like to fly over to ky and take care of this for me??? you could handle the situation so much better than i:D
love,
dani

Tanya said...

Dani I absolutely agree with you 100%!!! the kids should be able to have their phones at school not to play on but it' there just in case! it doesn't make sense how some teachers are ok with them & others confiscate them!! I would be talking to someone!! the kids are able to have them at primary school but they are handed into the office during the day & the kid can go to the office if they need to use their phone!! my boys have their phones with them at high school & it's not a problem & in the world we live in it shouldn't be a problem!!

I hope it all works out!!

take care,

love,
t. xxx

dani said...

hi, t:) you know, it's just too bad that we have to feel that our kids NEED phones for safety, isn't it. i never felt unsafe in school nor walking to or from it.
katherine has never even been given the option. further, it is not nearly as bad here as it is in other places.
on a happier note... i hope you are feeling much better:)
love,
dani

Kellan said...

All I know is that when I have an issue with something going on at one of my kids' schools, I either call a meeting with the principal to discuss it or send off an e-mail. I would suggest that you follow your gut and if your feel the issue needs to be addressed - chances are that many other parents do as well. My kids' schools don't allow them either, but are pretty lenient - at least so far. Good luck - Kellan

The Adventures of Maverick & the Mrs. said...

Poor K! I'm sure they have to know that she's no trouble-maker! I'm all for having the cell phone with her--but the teacher in me has a little problem with the classes where they're allowed to text. I'm an old fart---I believe they should read when they're finished with their work. I know, stick in the mud, right? :)

meganxxx said...

I am with you 100% Dani.

I had the same issue with Maddy when she just started High school (here it is aged 12-12). we bought her a phone especially because she was going to be at high school and having two smaller children at home (one new baby) I wanted to be able to contact her by message to let her know if i was going to be late etc.
She got caught, I went to see them and the school would not (and still dont) budge on the issue. If she was being disruptive fair enough but as a parent I feel safer if Maddy has her phone and I believe she should be allowed to have it.
That said she now keeps it in her zipped compartemtn of her bag on silent.

MoziEsmé said...

I think you should talk to the school. I can understand your points about safety and think they should be able to, also. Of course, I could also understand them having rules about keeping them out of site and turned off during classes - and if a student violates those rules, then he/she should be disciplined.

juz said...

All the highschools that I work in allow mobile's, but they are not to be 'used' during class. If they are seen they are confiscated until the end of the lesson.

In Primary school they are illegal.

In saying that, my 9 year old has one. She knows that it is the 'emergency phone' it stays in the 'secret pocket' of her school bag and is turned off. If i am not there to pick her up she will use it (just outside the school fence waiting for me) or once she raced into the toilet at recess and rang me, whispering 'mummy, i left my project at home PLEASE bring it up!'

I think the only way to change the 'rules' Dani is to lobby the P&C or P&F or whatever the parents association is called at your school.

I am sure virtually all of the parents would feel as you do, and as one of the people commented, it would be better for them to be allowed - with set out rules, than to be snuck around.

Goodluck with it!

PS - CONGRATS ON THE WEIGHT LOSS!! AWESOME!! I lost 600gm the first week! LOL! But seeings as I wasn't really dieting I was happy it was a loss at all. So this week Im being good and having lots of water and eating good stuff and trying to excerise! It will be interesting to see if there is a loss this week! lol!

Have a great Tuesday!

Jennifer H said...

You should absolutely talk with the school and other parents about it. Maybe a townhall meeting kind of thing.
All teenagers should have phones with them. Especially the girls! You tell her that all of blogger is pulling for her

dani said...

kellen, i think i am just going to continue to send katherine with her phone in tow and hope she doesn't get caught again:S
thanks,
dani

dani said...

i'm with you, c, on the reading part. katherine takes a book with her to read for after she finishes her assignments:)
love,
dani

dani said...

hi, megan:) kat will continue to take hers as well. i figure bringing up the issue will do no good. hopefully she will not get caught again, ha!!!
love,
dani

dani said...

i totally agree, j:) a rule is a rule. i totally never disagreed with kat being disciplined just with the rule itself...
love,
dani

dani said...

thank you, juz:) i understand that this rule was implimented above the high school. central office of education were the rule maker, thus, the pta's (parent teacher association) hands are tied:S
love,
dani

dani said...

jenn, i will tell her:) she will be very appreciative!!!
thank you.
love,
dani

Purple Teacup said...

I think she should hide in her underwear. My kid would have one too, in that situation. Maybe she could disguise it to look like a candy bar or something....Seriously let's get creative!

Caitlin said...

Yea, yeah, I'm a little late BUT...

I think the cell phone rule is ridiculous! They're going to have them and as long as they're not using them during class time I see no problem with students having them in their pockets/bookbags. It's a waste of the administration's time to enforce and police the no cell phone rule. (I feel the same way about the gum rule. Seriously? Don't we have bigger issues??) GAH... Makes me crazy!

When I subbed at the HS, everyone was texting and I didn't care. Come to find out, several of them were texting my brother to tell them I was their teacher! LOL

So, let Kat keep it. Put it in a pouch or something so it's not obvious if it ever falls out of her bag again. If anyone questions it, she can just be all, It's a girl thing. No one questions that!!